I am sorry that you have reached this point, only the 2 of you can truly reach whats right for you and for right now. I hope that if you do seperate that it brings you what you hope for, and I know that it wount be a decision that is reached lightly. I think that keeping the lines of communication open is what it important right now, and even in your separation you should try and to continue to dialogue, set up coffee dates, over over the phone a couple of times a week just to keep you both in touch with feeling etc.
((((((hugs to you both))))))))))
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Hope, I like the fact that you two are communicating thru this crisis. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. I remember how hurt I was, when my W left for Florida five years ago.
It sounds like she's confused, depressed, and unhappy and is going to need some space in some form for now.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I've followed your situation with interest. I think you two (HFF and Mof2C) have so much going for you because you are being so open with one another. It's kind of mindblowing. I hope you can reconnect on levels that please you both. Best of luck. I'll be thinking of you.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I've followed your situation with interest. I think you two (HFF and Mof2C) have so much going for you because you are being so open with one another. It's kind of mindblowing. I hope you can reconnect on levels that please you both. Best of luck. I'll be thinking of you.
Happy to provide such an interesting dynamic here. Although I would much prefer to have never needed to find this message board, it is what it is and we will make the best of it. I'm just hoping that we can help others as we try to help ourselves. The people on this site definitely have given me much support and advice, and it does provide a good way to get certain things out in the open.
I try to be as honest as possible, but I do find it hard to not filter my thoughts to some extent. Not that I'm being misleading in my posts, its just that I think twice about what I'm posting.
I'll have to check up on your thread to see where your at.
I try to be as honest as possible, but I do find it hard to not filter my thoughts to some extent. Not that I'm being misleading in my posts, its just that I think twice about what I'm posting.
HFF,
Our thoughts are just that they are our thoughts. they are not facts, they are not right or wrong. That is what I use this place for. Most of the time as I type I realize how off I was..If I don't Sara or saffie points it out to me...
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Actually, it is our feelings that are neither right or wrong. Our thoughts can be wrong. Perhaps you think W is with OM right now. That is a thought, and it is wrong. On the other hand, the way you feel when you think of W with OM, that is your feeling and you are entitled to feel however you actually feel. Wife should not say, "You should feel happy about that because...." We can't tell each other how to feel, but thoughts are a whole different ball of wax.
Happy to provide such an interesting dynamic here. Although I would much prefer to have never needed to find this message board, it is what it is and we will make the best of it. I'm just hoping that we can help others as we try to help ourselves. The people on this site definitely have given me much support and advice, and it does provide a good way to get certain things out in the open.
I try to be as honest as possible, but I do find it hard to not filter my thoughts to some extent. Not that I'm being misleading in my posts, its just that I think twice about what I'm posting.
I was afraid my post would sound like I was hooked on the drama. I'm so very sorry if that's how it read. I don't know how to go back and edit after it's been posted for a while.
Anyway, I just wanted to be clear that my interest was in how you and your wife seemed to have such honest, open communication. I have a non-verbal communicator for a husband and it's refreshing (although under dreadful circumstances) to see your willingness to be open.
My heart goes out to both of you. I sincerely hope you two can find your way back to each other.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
