Marcum, you need to stay in the "friend" stage for a while, until things smooth out and you both have the feeling you can take it a bit further.
Friendship is the best you can hope for right now, so don't rush it. Take your time, that is the only way she will come around.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
just trying to STAY in the FZ right now. she seems realy mad i cut our talk short this morning. this seems to be very common with us. we communicate diffrently so we mix up and dont understand what was said. i realise she was going to come over and wanted to be nice by letting me sleep, but she has to realalise that haveing my WAW come home makes me want to stay up and at least say hi! i whish she could let go when i screw up. im not trying to but she acts like every time i hurt her its premeditated
lol it was kind of nice. my hips are killing me. in 400pounds and compete in powerlifting and strongman. im kind of a brick. im actualy doing a private lesson next week.
The wife called today and told me shes comming over monday night to do taxes on our computer. went into great detail how she got drunk on sat night and " had more beer spilled on my shirt then i got in my mouth i was so wasted" thats not my wife. I have never heard of a mid-life at 28 but it feels more and more like that. o well at lest she wants to cook me dinner. one day at a time
well she came by and it went ok i guess. i tried to be a little flirty but she wasent in the mood to be told shes pretty so i backed off. i did have to ecuse myself and go to the bathroom to dry my eyes when she told me i wasent washing dishis right. she didnt do it meanly i was just trying so hard to be a good husband that when she noticed a flaw and not the effort if kind of got to me. o but she did ask to see my new dance moves so we salsad in the living room for one song. and i gave her a kiss on the cheek goodby, and she didnt flinch or anything lol.
in DB is there a time when your allowed to ask you Sp what they want to see happen? i want this to work but in a way i also would like to know my W intentions.
o hell yes mink my friend. you flip from " i love my wife and will do anything to make this work", to " do i get to feel happy and loved ever" i can see babey steps being made by my W and i know i cant rush them, i just realy miss her my friends. when she is in the room sometimes i see glimmers of my W and other times a stranger is there. i didnt M this stranger and to see her in my W body kills me. i also realaise im biased, but all i have to go on is what im told, and what i see. i whish we could have a frank open talk so i couls see what about me she still finds uncomfortable to be around.
we had a fight today. we actualy had a good afternoon hanging out and flirting. well we were going to a going away party for one of my co-workers and we were taking two cars incase i stayed late as i was going to work anyway and i would stay there untill i worked.
as she was walking to her car my W stated "Marcum you need to clean your car out its discusting and i shoulnt have to tell you thast. its realy gross and its been like this for years. " she was gathering steam and kind of attacking me sio i said " honey your right it wont be like this anymore" she responded " ive told you a hundred times..." so i interupted her and said " please stop i understand it wont be like this any more."
well she called me on the way to the party to tell me she was hurt and felt i was rude for interupting her. she told me she feels like i never change and i once again was not letting her finish her thoughts. i appologised and we hung up.
well she called back again and told nme to pull over and grab the food out of her car as she didnt want to go to the party anymore. i explained to her i had no idea whay she was so mad. i told her i wasent trying to interup her and i was taking the critisisim as constructive. i stold her to stop because i wanted her to know i understand. i also stated i wasent makeing excuses for myself but right away agreeing that i needed to clean out my car.. it went on like this for 3 minutes before she calmed down and came to the party.
she was standoffish the rest of the night. she also explained that she has no patience for me anymore. guys i dont know what to do. i truly dodnt defend myself anymore but these attacks are so painfull espesily when they comw out of no were like this one did. we were having a good night and then bams she takes offence because i agree with her to fast. i told her i will sit and listen as long as she wants me to from now on. God i just dont know what to do right
