Sorry to hear you're not feeling too great right now, Ali. Hang in there, there's some good perspective being put forth on things. I've been having a tough day today. Went to a restaurant with some people from work that was a place my W. and I often went to. I was really triggered and have been feeling quite down. Lots of these ups and downs, right?
Thanks RTL for your post to Ali...it helped me a bit to read it too!
Thanks RTL! If you knew me, you'd know it was a big deal that I voluntarily got up and went cycling on my own on a cold (but sunny!) day and went for so far. I was proud of myself!
And I went to tea at a friends house tonight and hugged their kids and made everyone laugh for 2 hours and then left ! I was exhausted! And I am going out for a drink Thursday with 8 woman (blimey!) and I went to work for 3 hours today (which is a record for me as I normally get bored after 2 hours and leave!) and I'm going in for another 3 or 4 hours tommorow. So, I think I will very slowly get there, drip drip drip?
Lastly..my BF emailed me again when I was out. He basically invited himself around tommorow night! I wasnt entirely sure I wanted him to come, I was a bit thrown by this, a Tuesday night !? I've not seen him on a Tuesday night since he moved out I dont think! He had bought me a bike chain and said he will come round tommorow (with the usual caveat of "maybe" thrown in!) night to fix it. So if he does, I will offer to cook him dinner as a thankyou (good excuse I think).
And I'e been thinking about this since last week. Next time I do see him, my aim is to kiss him on the cheek...near the mouth (NOT the mouth!), but we havent kissed on the face since the night he left me (right after we'd had about the best you know whats of the whole 9 years! Wierd. Oh well, we went out with a bang). So thats my little goal..as we always hug goodbye, so instead of the usual release and step back routine, I shall turn my head and chance a little kiss.. I think. Make it easier to start doing a bit of cheek kissing in future..then hopefully, one day it will be easier to close that gap from a cheek kiss to a peck on the lips..and before you know it, we'll be married and I'll be bun in the oven and we will live happily ever after..
ok, hang on, getting carried away now. :-)
I'm pleased he said he was going to ring that counselling line tonight, so I really really hope he has done that. Find out tommorow. Right, got to go get my beauty zzzz's !
Oh hey Purr... well done for going! Thats brave. I felt that way when I went to "our" beach by myself, not fun, but these things get easier. I'm still largely by myself (I was all weekend) but I'm learning that little things can make a big difference - like ok I was alone for 3 days, but 2 hours with friends wipes out the lonely times in a flash and then tommorow is another day?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
