"As far as the other part of the story...Not sure, just friends right now" WTH does that mean? So today you are friends but tomorrow who knows? Are you really going to ignore all the advice here and have dinner with her anyway? Do you want your M or just the opportunity to ram it in your W's face? Think, think, think...then cancel your dinner engagement. Btw, FYI when you leave your home and "crash" at a friends, you are legally abandoning your family and leaving yourself open to all kinds of legal sh!t that can have huge ramifications on your rights to your child. Think about it, fish. So many H's on this board have left their home due to wanting to give W space or because they are hurting, it's not a wise move EVER without a SA. So either choose to DB or get a SA, think about your sitch rather than just feel about it. Lastly, your remarks "I have really learned how to detach very quickly" are complete BS, everybody here is telling you that you are too quick to make extreme judgements on your sitch, I think this is another example. It's OK to be somewhere in the middle sometimes, try it!
AMEN to all of this!
Originally Posted By: fish
As far as the other part of the story...Not sure, just friends right now
I'm sorry, but when I read this, I just had to laugh while shaking my head at the same time.
Ever read "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass?
At the very beginning of the first chapter, her son, Ira (who is a radio show host), is quoted saying: "You know you're in trouble when the word "just" appears before the word "friends"."
My H said the same thing about the OW whom he was "just friends" with.
Fish, I don't know your entire sitch, but your thread titled "Fish - Divorce Busted!" definitely caught my attention just 2+ weeks ago. Now all of a sudden, you're out the door. Just like that.
Is that what you really want?
Piecing takes time, it takes effort on both sides, and of course above all else, it takes patience. A LOT of it. Things don't just happen overnight for anyone. I know what I'm talking about because my H has been back home for the last 3 weeks after being S'ed for nearly 3 years. It's not easy in any sense of the word, but if there's willingness from both partners, there is hope. There is always hope.
Forgive and move forward, whichever way you go.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Fish, Please reconsider the dinner. I know you're "just friends", but my friend, you are playing with fire. Especially since there's "chemistry" between the two of you. This will backfire BIG TIME when your wife finds out, and trust me, she'll find out.
There are pleny of other little fishies in the sea, leaves wife's friends ALONE!!
Think about the message you want to send to your wife now. That you are moving on?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
