Already Gone

[nutfarmer]

So...the standoff continues. What do you want out of this Mark?

Money. I want to be able to pay my bills. And against the advice of her own attorney, she is not paying me anything.

Here's the next step for me: I will schedule a meeting for the explicitly stated goal of discussing finances. We can't do anything until this is resolved.

Are you sure that's all Mark? It seems to me that you want her to work collaboratively with you to solve what she sees as your problem. That is what one spouse would expect from the other--or a business partner might expect from the other. It assumes a level of trust in the other's motives, or at least a shared vision of what is in each partner's self interest. Only you can answer if either of those is present.

If your goal is to leave the door open to your wife, then it makes sense to me. If your goal is to get the money and come out of a divorce fairly, I'm not sure it does. The goals are in conflict.

Just a thought,

Nut

[Sara]

I don't get the drama element. why meet in a restaurant with a waitress and food? why walk out when she tears up a bit? Meetings can happen at home, without strangers watching or a bill to pay. She didn't get anywhere.. She caved at the first step. Shrek would not be pleased.

[SallyM]

I swear I think the best thing h and I did was take all business conversations to e-mail. takes out all the drama/emotion and gives both of us a chance to process before answering. granted, we are both good about answering them...not sure if your wife is or if she's a staller. but it might be something to consider in the future. has that added bonus of having it all nice and neatly recorded for you, too, so no misunderstandings later.

honestly if you are worried about finances and about your credit being affected, I'd probably move on things quickly. bad enough having to go thru all of this crap without being dragged down even more by it.

good luck, mark.

btw, I find it very interesting that she wants you to schedule the next meeting instead of doing it herself.

have you guys met with a mediator yet, btw? or are you trying to get things started first? or does the fact that you both have your own attys mean you are not doing mediation?