The Suggestion Box

[MissH]

Jeanette, you know I like you, right?

With all do respect, do you have to add to the trouble?

I believe Bill's email address is on his signature line, this is something that you could of emailed Bill about personally instead of posting for all the public to see.

You are entitled to your opinion, but posting that opinion is just going to open another debate.

Here is what you posted to RCR in your last post:

Next your going to tell us who can post and who cannot right?? Unfriggen real.....this is a power struggle between a few people so why shred this board like this?? I mean...I thought you were going to come back and be helpful posting to those in need? I also thought that perhaps this had all died down and we could begin to heal from mark this left on many people. But here we go again. Lets get rid of SG......for the love of GOD! WHY? Should this not go back to one of your suggestions to ban those people who are picking on ONE person and NICE to others????

This site is losing it's appeal simply because of all the arguing over who is going to get the last word.

Please reread what you posted and then look at what you posted to Bill.

I just find it difficult to read your advice when you met and are in a full fledged going to be married soon fella DBuster?

So don't read it. That is the beauty of this board, you can pick and choose what advice works best for you.

We all have our own opinions and we don't have to like Bill and Deb's sitch, but he has a right to post here like everyone else. I never once heard him tell anyone to give up on their M. He may have given up his stand, but that is his own personal choice.

Please don't think I am bashing you, because I am not. I just want to see the people on this forum stop bickering and get back to the real reason for this forum, to save our M and/or to help someone else.

Don't we have enough chaos in our lives? I know I do.

[MissH]

Bill,

Nothing but hateful, accusatory, vindictive, and spiteful words.

The rebel in me wants to tell you to piss off and don't read my posts if you have a problem with me.

The stubborn cuss in me wants to refuse to allow your hateful venom to stop me from participating in a place where I found healing and where I'd like to think I can help others.

But the realist in me realizes that you are not alone. That there are other people out there with the same hateful thoughts towards me. And it realizes that because of that, I will always find myself at odds with YOUR TYPE when you decide to cast your stones.

Thanks for the farewell Jeannette. Hope you're happy.

Bworl, Hate is a strong word. IMO, I don't think Jeanette was meaning to be hateful, but only Jeanette can speak for herself.

She is entitled to her opinion as are the rest of us. My only objection was that she could of kept it to herself or brought her concerns up privately.

And, What ever happened to the phrase "I am sorry you feel that way?"

We need to practice what we preech peeps!

And I am talking about myself too.

[missmyfriend]

Did I tell everyone that my new car is red and fast? Of course, I am in my middle 40s, a father of three, a (supposedly) upstanding member of the community so I have to at least act respectable.

So, what do you all suggest? Do I act nonchalant around my W when she sees it or do I act manly, with a slight swagger or do I act like my normal self (of course, that is manly as well )?

I am in desperate need of suggestions....

[MissH]

MMF, I get your point. Let's get back to DBusting.

Hmmmmm....a fast, red new car, in your middle 40's....MLC? LOL!

And if you are really looking for an answer, just be true to yourself.

[Jeanette1120]

I see nothing hateful or accusatory??

I was simply stating my feelings? Am I not allowed? Am I wrong?

Are you not happy? I thought you were. I wished you nothing but the best in your relationship. Still do.

I said I was trying to understand how things change so quickly?

We are told time and time again that when you go into a relationship with a MARRIED individual that they are nothing but band-aides. Right or wrong? Tell me, hell, I am willing to listen. Explain to me the difference. Thats all I am asking. Why is it that others are band-aides, but yours is different?.

You see, in my way of thinking.....no matter how in love you both are, and I'm glad you are, there is not much difference between you two and say.....my xh and his x ow. I cannot speak for anyone else on this board, just for myself, but my x thought the same thing at this stage! So did his friends and family. If I were or anyone else standing with a OW/OM in the picture, then hell.....maybe they do love the other person and we are simply wasting our time and our spouses are finding their healing.

Yes it hurts. But I'm not hateful, vindictive or spiteful. I am just learning about how the world turns and how things can be justified to fit the action.

Bill....I have nothing against you nor you love. Hell, I read the boards, ya'll have proclaimed your love. Great! She's defended you! Wonderful! I believe in happily ever after...

I'm just looking for answers.

I spose I'll have to settle for, hey....the marriage just wasn't meant to be and when the LBS hears the ILYBNILWY speach it's true. The grass is greener. The children will be happier and the LBS will find love again.


I have not said anything in my post that you or the other person have not said themselves. Why so defensive? There is no need to defend if nothing was wronged right? I am not attacking Bill, just looking for answers.

I'm glad your a stubborn cuss!!! So am I. SO why in the world would you want to leave the board!

Geeez......

I said I didn't understand the difference is all.

Yikes! Touchy...

Hugs and understanding

Jeanette

[Jeanette1120]

MrsH

I didn't feel the need to keep it to myself when they both have come out on the board and talked about it. I didn't even know until they posted it. So I wondered about the difference.

I'm trying to understand the difference between the situations of here on this board or here in real life.

Thats all. You should know I'm not a hateful person, more of a questioning sort of person to understand the full meaning of what one is talking about.

MMF....

A red sports car? In our 40's? Uhmmmmm

Vroooooooooooom

[missmyfriend]

LOL! Thanks MrsH.

You know what is sad? I cant even do MLC right! It is a "used" four door Honda Accord. A family sedan although it does have a 240hp engine with all of the trimmings. It gets much better gas mileage than my SUV. I end up being practical

I still worry about how my W will feel about the car.

Jeanette, you know it

[MissH]

Jeanette, that's fair.

I took your post to Bill as a little sarcastic too, but I may have just read it wrong. One thing that stinks about posting is sometimes you don't know the real tone of things.

And what's fair is fair. Bill and Deb did reveal their R publicly on these boards, it's only expected that people are going to give their opinions publicly too.

I am just tired of all the bickering. Can't we all just get along?!

[charlie_girl]

I had to weigh in on this, as this board has been such a comfort to me, it was all that really helped keep me together when I hit bottom.

When I first came here, I posted a few times, got some great replies, then as I started feeling worse I just read, rather than posting. I have followed so many of the stories on here, have been rooting for all.

This may not good DBing, but I am having a hard time with some of the "do as I say, not as I do" here.

This is real life, our lives, and LBS are just as human as the MLC spouses. Some of us stand, for awhile, for a long time, and some forever.

Yes a few people have met on this board, it is not the intent of the board for that to happen, but it does, after all are we not all less than perfect, and capable of making mistakes? And is it really a mistake if this happens, sometimes yes, sometimes no.

But I think we owe it to these people to "not cast stones" as they have valuable advise to offer, some of the wisest and calmest words have come from BWorl, and Jack-Three-Beans, two men that got involved with other people on the board.

Jeanette, you strike me as a woman I would enjoy knowing, you have a wicked sense of humor, great wit, all the things that I enjoy in my friends.

So let's pretend I am your friend, and I get to be an honest friend that gets to tell you as I see it, and you get to listen or discard as you see fit.

I have watched while you got upset with BWorl & Deb13, Lissie & Jack, Fig & Going Solo, and it ruined some good friendships that you were developing. What about giving these people credit for the fact that when they did get involved, that they had all stopped standing at the time? My question to you is how is this any different than what you were doing, you were standing, but had a boyfriend while standing. Because you did not meet him on the boards that made it better? Not at all, all it did was make you human, just like the rest of them, coping with a crisis in the best manner that you could.

As the favorite saying here goes, stop, be still, listen, and take a look at yourself and your actions. I did not see one person slam you for having a boyfriend, which was good as no one has the right to do that, and you should be applying that same action to others.

Everyone has something of value to add to this board, all in their unique ways, just look at some of the posters:

AmyC - view from the other side, wicked sense of humor
Dry_Heat - wonderful sense of humor
Bworl & Jack - some of the calmest advise around
RCR - takes an interest in all the newbies
Cinders - wonderfully sweet
IMP & SWL - no holds barred, tells it like it is
Always_14 & Baseball Annie & Mothermoving on - 3 of the strongest women on these boards
Yellowrose, Saffie - people that have made it all the way through
Brandnewday - practical, reconcilled, spiritual
MMF - spiritual, available to give hugs
Was2sad - greets all newbies, checks on everyone, funny tales of wisdom
Lissie & Valentine - full of charm and graciousness
Grace - lives up to her name impressively
Mrs H, Treese, Mopsey - vunerable, open people
Snodderly - what can you say, most helpful on board
All the people on surviving the D board - shows us there is a good life after all.

I could go on and on about all the other posters, but I want to go to bed at some point LOL. Ask yourself, what would you like listed after your name?

Thanks to all, even though I have never met any of you, you have helped me more than you could ever know. It is wonderful to know that people like you exist.

nite!!

[Holly06]

Ummmmm....



don't forget the pole dancing.