First off, solutions journals are a wonderful thing, particularly for newcomers. I don't understand why they are stickied for so long. Get them started, see that there is some feedback coming, then let them float. Somehow this thread, and all the other threads I might add, existed and people got help without having their thread permanently stickied in the past. I don't see why it wouldn't work again. And please. If the forum moderator is going to make it their business to bump every solution journal every time they are on, there is no sense in un-stickying them (is that even a word?).
As for the rest, I'm tired of seeing the same old lines about how this is THEIR forum so we have to abide by THEIR rules. Alright, let me give a great big DUH!. This is a divorce BUSTING website, so we expect the focus to be on people who want to BUST their impending divorce.
So what do you propose we do for those who have reached the point where divorce is now the reality? By their choice OR their spouses choice? DB'ing principles, as MANY have noted, are effective and helpful in ALL phases of our lives, and certainly in future relationships. These people have a place here too, should they desire to stay with those they have labored and lamented by.
The bannings made no sense. I will still submit that I posted nothing that merited a banning. Call me selfish or biased, but I still assert this is true. RCR has helped NUMEROUS people on this forum, INCLUDING ME, and certainly did nothing to merit banning. Sandi made a harmless mistake, and was banned without taking the time to see just what was going on.
I don't know if sgctxok is the power behind these bannings. I assume she is, because she has become the new face of this forum. And because it is SHE who eventually emailed me to let me know that the ban COULD be lifted. So if we are assuming responsibility to her erroneously, all she has to do is say so.
Whoever is responsible, the bannings were innappropriate. Like RCR, I will say that I can envision a situation where a banning would be merited. But, given that I have accounts on several different forums, I can tell you that banning without warning, without indicating the nature of the offense is something, in my experience at least, unique to THESE recent bannings. Something is wrong with that.
As others have pointed out, there are people here who have faced the ultimate rejection. To be tossed off of this site with nary a word as to why or for how long, is another kick in the pants to someone who has already been kicked enough. Common decency would compel most people to at least let the offender know that there was a problem.
So...all that is to say that I agree with RCR that sgctxok's credibility has been harmed by recent events on this board. But IMP, you're right too. This is a place for people hoping for a second chance. So I'll bite the bullet. Not that I have ANY say in this matter at all, but I'm willing to give it another shot.
But I would really like an explanation as to what our moderators plan to consider ban-able offenses in the future.
I am divorced. Not by my choice, but I am. And I am just fine with that now. I have a life again, a future with another, and I'm looking forward to the years to come. I still believe in the sanctity of marriage, and still believe that marriages SHOULD be forever. And I'd like to think I still have something of value to offer to some here.
I would like to know that my personal situation is not going to be used to ban me, or others like me, from this board again.
Blessings,
Bill
Last edited by Bworl; 03/04/0811:10 PM.
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I'm not here to take sides but merely to offer support for Michele, her staff and volunteers, and ALL the members who get/give valuable advice/support.
I am all for standing up for your rights, but let's think about this. I am sure that many of us can claim that we have trouble communicating in our marriages and personally this is what I am working on as part of my 180 and becoming a better ME per DB both for myself and my relationship. Yet here we are arguing back and forth. How much work have we actually done?
There is a better way to have gone about this and now others who would have been helped by this site have been turned off by what is happening. Furthermore all this quarrelling may have hurt the rep(s) of this site, of those who help run this site or Michele herself without just cause. I am sure that none of us meant for these outcomes. Let's give SG the benefit of the doubt that you requested from her. Perhaps some dialogue does need to take place, but the forums should not be the means to do so. This place is a gift!!!
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
I have to tell you that I had to read your post twice to make sure I really understood it.
I double checked to see if it really was you who started this thread.
And I am really sorry to say that I am really dissapointed in you right now.
After all of the crap that went on over the past few weeks over you being banned, all you have done is to prove a point.
The point being that you have no humility, none at all.
You don't feel grateful to be here.
You perceive this place to be your "right".
I feel that you have taken your reinstatement to the DBsite as an act of self entitlement.
Why could you not just be still?
Why could you not just leave things alone to settle down?
Instead you have chosen to make this new suggestion box thread and all it will do is stir up the sh*t and cause more problems.
Enough is enough already.
I thought it was wrong that you were banned without explanation. I defended the things people said about you, and even posted in purple to support you.
I do not like all of the things on this site. I don't agree with everything the Mods believe or every single theory MDW has to offer.
What I do not like is for people to ingratiate themselves upon others as if it is their right and try to make others believe their way is the only way of thinking.
That is what you are doing right now with this thread.
Please, leave well enough alone.
Stick to sharing about your life with Sweetheart.
Stick to sharing things that may actually help and encourage others,
I want things to go back to normal.
I don't want to see the chaos start again.
Please understand that I really do like you and respect all of the hard work you have done to understand MLC, and all of the help you have offered to so many in the past.
It is time for you to maybe learn how to be still now, and maybe take a back seat for a while.
(((((((((hugs)))))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I am happy to see the banned posters back. We fought for these posters to be back since they helped us so much.
Maybe somebody made a mistake by banning them and realizes it now and is trying to redeem themselves.
Was it wrong for the posters to be banned for no legitimate reason? IMO it was, but they were brought back, given a second chance to prove to the boards they are worth being here. I think it would be nice to show the newcomers why we wanted them back. Please let the dust settle a bit and let the anger go, divorce bust this sitch.
Can't we give SG a second chance too?
If you notice, SG put the solution journals in their own forums upon our request.
I will admit, after SG banned some posters and moved stuff all around on the forum I was upset by this. I became doubtful of her as a moderator, but I will give her another chance. I don't think bashing her is going to solve anything.
We can give out suggestions about the forum, but we can't dictate how someone should run their business. With that being said, it is nice to know that some of our requests are being heard. Afterall, I assume any good business owner will know that the "customers" opinions matter too.
Congratulations to you. I am very happy that your happy. Truly I am.
To me, it really doesn't matter that you met your future happiness on the Divorce Busting Bulletin Board. Hey! Thats great!
I also believe you truly have alot to offer.
BUT.....
I am still one of those people that really don't quite understand how you can post of your happiness with another when you met on the "HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE" board.
It's great tho......i'm glad you survided.
There are those that have met on this board and now are truamatized and are considered "Stalkers". Hmmm.....Food for thought.
Your advice is worthy, just as mine is. I'm not looking for love on this board, I'm looking at solutions as to how to save my relationship with my xh.
It seems as if things are looking in my favor these days. Why? Because I chose to stand when I should have did something else. Why? God testing me? I don't know.
This board is not the place to find a mate. Not in my opinion. It is just my own opinion I am speaking of.
If you do......great for you. I am HAPPY!
I just find it difficult to read your advice when you met and are in a full fledged going to be married soon fella DBuster?
I always love reading your posts tho......heck, I went back and read them from the beginning. Hmmm....things change quickly!
Hugs and
Blessings
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Your patronizing and sarcastic posts don't do anything constructive, so I'm not sure why you post them.
If you have a personal issue with me, I have ALWAYS had my personal email address listed on EVERY post. You COULD HAVE emailed me at any time, but you CHOOSE instead to make a public issue of YOUR problems with me.
Well I have not criticized you. I have not taken opportunity to point out anything in YOUR situation that maybe seems a bit out of whack. What is it at work in you that causes you to believe that you have the need to point fingers about MY life?
People meet on the internet all the time. I am not the first, probably will not be the last who met the person that I love here.
Who are YOU to pass judgement on me?
So here you are all.
Jack, you talk about HUBRIS?
BND, you talk about stirring up trouble?
Here you are, one of your own, who chooses to go on the attack. Who chooses to attempt to SMEAR a long standing member of this board, who has spent his time attempting to help others.
Yes, THIS is the state of things now.
Disgusting.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I am still one of those people that really don't quite understand how you can post of your happiness with another when you met on the "HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE" board.
Quote:
I'm not looking for love on this board,
Quote:
This board is not the place to find a mate. Not in my opinion. It is just my own opinion I am speaking of.
Quote:
I just find it difficult to read your advice when you met and are in a full fledged going to be married soon fella DBuster?
Quote:
Hmmm....things change quickly!
Nothing but hateful, accusatory, vindictive, and spiteful words.
The rebel in me wants to tell you to piss off and don't read my posts if you have a problem with me.
The stubborn cuss in me wants to refuse to allow your hateful venom to stop me from participating in a place where I found healing and where I'd like to think I can help others.
But the realist in me realizes that you are not alone. That there are other people out there with the same hateful thoughts towards me. And it realizes that because of that, I will always find myself at odds with YOUR TYPE when you decide to cast your stones.
Thanks for the farewell Jeannette. Hope you're happy.
Blessings to all my friends here. As always, I wish you peace, success, and happiness.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
