You have been a valued member of the Divorce Busting Community for a long time. However, recently your posts are getting out of hand. They are mean and crude and absolutely not appropriate for our community. What you are saying about SG is totally off base and will not be allowed to continue.
Consider this an official warning. If you want to retain your posting privileges, now is the time to take the high ground and clean up your act. I'd really like to see you around for a long time.
Regards,
Virginia Peeples Vice President The Divorce Busting Center P O Box 271, Boulder, Colorado 80306
AmyCs reply:
No worries, Virginia. I wrote my goodbye post just a little while ago and left the boards.
I respectfully disagree with you about Sg.
She's turned the boards into a trainwreck with all the new forums and threads, her selective banning (without warnings such as mine), UNexplained UNbanning - thereby suggesting they weren't legitimate bans in the first place and finally, the fluff she's feeding real people with real problems who have to do a whole lot more than just THINK themselves back into happy marriages or lives after divorce. I could go on but why? You need to get people like JamesJohn back that actually MODERATE instead of DICTATE. Sg came down without even having personal relationships with the posters and with her broad sweeping and obviously sanctioned actions, threw everyone for a loop and situated herself right smack in the middle of our very real lives and very real problems. That said, I DO see how we could benefit from a little DIRECTION and GUIDANCE but the way it was THREATENED to be enacted, and in some cases FORCED, was WRONG to do to your members. The Solution Journals are GREAT. But they need to be corraled.
I do appreciate very much that at least I got a warning, which is more than the others were given. It's quite a shame I had to get nasty today to hear from someone with some power but then of course, it was still just a warning. I baited you, Virginia and this is ALL I got. In my opinion, you need to do something more constructive such as listen to your members. I'll copy my friends so they at least know you warned me and I'm not banned. Perhaps you might consider making that the norm for others in the future...especially people like Sandi. There are many "Sandis" out there, Virginia.
So glad to see you are back. I am so sorry for the illness in your family. I will pray my heart out for you and your loved ones much the same as everyone did for my S32.
Take care and keep posting.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Well Amy I think that Virginia and other 'moderators' do need to step back and REALIZE that you aren't being a jerk, you are writing with passion about things you believe in.
If they cannot read these discussions without taking it personally then they need to re-think their positions as 'counselors' because they aren't maintaining their neutrality but instead are becoming 'part of the problem'.
I completely agree with the observations about sgtx... She is a decent person but she has given advice to myself and others that comes from a position of not understanding the complexities of our situations. As MICHELE knows you can't apply the 'DB principles' blindly in every case. If that was true then there would be no need for ANY OTHER SELF HELP BOOKS because, well, DB would be the only book anyone would need.
Since we all know that's not true, it's the combination of DB'ing, and other actions that helps all of us. We all bring our own experiences to this place and help each other.
Sgctx only speaks 'DB'. and as such can give newcomers the impression that one can 'fix yourself' and then everything else will just work.
If only it were that easy.
You do need to fix yourself, and eventually YOUR life will start to work. But that is no guarantee that your marriage will work, as we all know. And yes, sometimes there are situations that are OUT OF CONTROL. The WAS is crazy, literally. Where's the chapter in the DB book about "dealing with a crazy WAS who is destructive?" The one who maybe has a restraining order against you while she steals your money? Ask DadNotQuitting about that one.
If the purpose of THIS board is only to talk about DB solutions to marriage then there's going to be a lot less people on it. And of the ones that ARE here who ONLY listen to the limited solutions in the DB books, well some will get destroyed by their WAS's vindictiveness while they sit and 'give them space'.
So, I am hoping that Virginia and others, including Amy and the rest of the members can take a step back and see how one person's actions, while in their mind were 'for the good of everyone' came from the heart, but were in the end executed in haste without a good understanding of the people in the community.
And this IS a community. Not just 'Micheles Board'. We've seen groups rally to the cause of someone in need, we've gathered in various cities around the country to actually MEET face to face.
If anything, that is the lesson here. THIS IS A COMMUNITY.
Sgctx and others need to absorb this lesson. I know I am.
And if there is a fundamental change going on in this community for business or political reasons I could understand that IF it was clearly stated. And if that was the case, then I believe it's usefulness will have hit a roadblock and then it will be time to start another one somewhere else.
I hope we're just having some personality conflicts here. This community has 'worked' very well for a long time. It's only recently with the changes unilaterally implemented by one well meaning person that has caused the turmoil.
You have been a valued member of the Divorce Busting Community for a long time. However, recently your posts are getting out of hand. They are mean and crude and absolutely not appropriate for our community. What you are saying about SG is totally off base and will not be allowed to continue.
Consider this an official warning. If you want to retain your posting privileges, now is the time to take the high ground and clean up your act. I'd really like to see you around for a long time.
Regards,
Virginia Peeples Vice President The Divorce Busting Center P O Box 271, Boulder, Colorado 80306
AmyCs reply:
No worries, Virginia. I wrote my goodbye post just a little while ago and left the boards.
I respectfully disagree with you about Sg.
She's turned the boards into a trainwreck with all the new forums and threads, her selective banning (without warnings such as mine), UNexplained UNbanning - thereby suggesting they weren't legitimate bans in the first place and finally, the fluff she's feeding real people with real problems who have to do a whole lot more than just THINK themselves back into happy marriages or lives after divorce. I could go on but why? You need to get people like JamesJohn back that actually MODERATE instead of DICTATE. Sg came down without even having personal relationships with the posters and with her broad sweeping and obviously sanctioned actions, threw everyone for a loop and situated herself right smack in the middle of our very real lives and very real problems. That said, I DO see how we could benefit from a little DIRECTION and GUIDANCE but the way it was THREATENED to be enacted, and in some cases FORCED, was WRONG to do to your members. The Solution Journals are GREAT. But they need to be corraled.
I do appreciate very much that at least I got a warning, which is more than the others were given. It's quite a shame I had to get nasty today to hear from someone with some power but then of course, it was still just a warning. I baited you, Virginia and this is ALL I got. In my opinion, you need to do something more constructive such as listen to your members. I'll copy my friends so they at least know you warned me and I'm not banned. Perhaps you might consider making that the norm for others in the future...especially people like Sandi. There are many "Sandis" out there, Virginia.
Thank you for your email.
AmyC
~~~~~~~
I'll stand here with Amy in this threat.
I'll post up now and say if you ban Amy you had better ban me cause I'll post with a vengance, Amy is right and just look at the support in this thread. RCR et:al ( is this correct Amy) it's been awhile.
Anyway I digress, Without the words of those like: RCR, Snooderly, Bworl, Lissie, Fig, AmyC, Was2sad, Sofaraway only to mention a very few by name. I wouldn't have survived the MLC storm. Yea I bought the books, but it was the forum that was a godsend to me!
To: Virginia
I would just like to know a few things.
Where have you been in the last 2 years?
I see what you said to Amy but I would really like to know the BASIS for such?
And last but not least what is your personal experience with MLC?
Amy has been through MLC and is willing to post her pain for all of us to see and learn from. Now because she VOICES an issue that many here have been having, all of a sudden Amy is S*** on a stick.
Amy is invaluable, get used to it, she has been there and has done that and may be a bit abrupt for it. There's no shame in where Amy comes from and no shame in what Amy has to say, on this or any other topic.
We are dealing in reality here Virginia, it's really simple.
I see SG won't address what she started here, are you here under a different login? If not what is your experience with MLC, or for that matter SG's experience?
Hey ba065 - I caught this and don't know if you will read this or not but I do not believe that this was in reference to you but to BA who was on this thread for quite a while the last couple years....she was known as Baseball Annie..............so don't take it hard.........i don't believe this was meant for you. Jack and BA were often at odds with one another.
