Fish, congrats this is great news for everyone thanks for sharing with us. Keep up the good work, be patient, and remember your about to be IN a marriage that before you could only dream of enjoy your weekend......Ken
Me 38 WAW 29 D 4 Married 9 Together 11 Bomb June 07 Separated Jan 08 Reconciled May 08 awesome, happy, and blessed
If you men want to know what women really want and need, go to this site and give them your email address and you will receive a free daily newsletter written by a man to men about women. It is great! Hope you will pass it along.
Also, Michelle's books are on Amazon and the used books start at 13 cents plus 3.99 S&H. All that I have bought that were used were in very good condition. Hope you will spread the word to anyone that can't pay regular price right now.
Help save more marriages!
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and well wishes. My divorce is officially busted. W and I had lunch and dinner today and put the finishing touches on the blueprint of our new marriage. We talked everything through and came to an agreement on all issues.
We are now married again. Rings on, vacations planned and the romance starts on Monday with a nice little get away for two in NYC.
Since we are concerned that we are re-entering the honeymoon phase, I have agreed not to move back into the house until W is 100% comfortable. She is right there. This is a good time for us to put the finishing touches on ourselves and then re-unite for life.
We both agreed that we are much better with each other than without. We also agreed that we have amazing chemistry. Our issues centered around life/work balance, communication, respect and trust. Nothing that could not be easily worked out with a little patience and love.
We both agreed that we are "In love" with each other, that we will both respect the fact that we have lives outside of our marriage and will remain together for life.
W said that she is absolutely amazed in the changes that I have made and knows they are REAL. She basically said... This is the man that I married, I am so happy that you are back! I said the same to her.
Not sure how we fell apart, but we no longer give a sh*t. We are back and better than ever. I cannot tell you how happy I am that I have my partner back. We were always the type of couple that people would envy. We could sit at a restaurant and talk for hours and never get bored.
So that's it, end of story.
Also... I put my daughter to bed at my mom's house tonight. She looked adorable and so content. You could just see her little face and she was very tired. My mom went to give her a kiss and my D looked at her and said "Daddy is coming home." My mom than said, "I know honey and I am so happy for you." Mom than sat on the side of the bed and gently caressed her head. My D had a smile on her face and drifted off to sleep. It is a moment in my life that I will NEVER forget. My D looked so content and loved.
After we left the bedroom, my mom said, "I wonder what she has been thinking over the past 6 months." I said "Mom, I cannot think about that, I know she has been through hell and has really put up a good front through a very difficult time. It's time that we all just move forward."
One more thing....
My W called my father and then my mother to thank them for their support during this very challenging time. She also said, I love your son more than anything, he is an amazing man and I will never forget that his strength kept our family together. She told them not to worry about us, we will be together for life. As difficult as this has been, it was for the best.
A few notes...
* W was not MLC, she was angry that our marriage was ending. * Space was so important during this process. I believe if I did not leave the house we never would have reconciled. We truly needed a time out. * GAL is CRITICAL. Once you starting doing your own thing, your spouse gets re-attracted to you. * Chemistry is key... if you still have those tingly love feelings when you are with your spouse, there is hope. If not, move on, you married the wrong person. * The WAS will only come back when they are ready. * During the ANGER phase, marriage counseling makes things worse! Provides WAS a forum for justify their decision to end marriage. * IT's NEVER OVER!!! We filed for divorce and had an agreement!!! * The kids suffer... no they are not that reslient. They are just suppressing their feelings. They want mom and dad together. It's the way things are supposed to be on their little planet. * Michele Weiner-Davis' Divorce Remedy is the gameplan on saving your marriage. Without her book, counseling from Jody and this web site, my divorce would be final. * DBing really works, but it must be customized for your situation.
I am sure that you will experience issues that will help all of us as you and your bride reconcile and start living under the same roof.
Of course, maybe it will be perfect and you won't be able to help any of us!! That's what I hope for you.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Mink _ Nothing is ever perfect, I am sure we will have ups and downs. But we both have learned that it is how you deal with those ups and downs as a team.
I think the piecing phase is too personal. It is a time to work together as a couple to bring new life into your relationship. Personally, it's not something that I am comfortable discussing on the boards. I think Hound felt the same way.
I believe that the boards are most appropriate for getting you to the "piecing" stage. Once you get there, it's time that you put 100% of your trust and confidence in your mate. Outside opinions during this phase could cloud your decision making. Once you get to piecing, you should be working as a team.
A big congratulations to all of you. Wow, I'm happy for everyone involved. Keep the focus on the present; enjoy where you are right now. Don't go back and overanalyze the past. Meet each other's needs and you will be fine. Take care.
Fish, I don't know you, but wanted to congratulate you and your W on busting the big D, (I just found out today that my H filed, so seeing your story is something I really needed). I'm so happy for you and your family. Best of luck for the future!
Me:30 H:30 Together:10yr H left:Oct3'06,couple weeks before 5th wed anniv. No Kids OW bomb:Jan19'07 My thread: He filed.
