No new news with my sitch, things are cool The piecing thing is a hell of a lot more fun than "STAGE 1 - ANGER," but it still is a bit uncomfortable. After surviving a 6 month journey through Hell, you do worry that a bomb could go off at any moment and de-rail your efforts.
W called very early this morning to invite me to a b-day party for her father on 4-19. Also said that she was planning a nice 1 week get away for us in April. Someplace warm.
My concern at the moment is if things are sooo good why the hell am I still out of the house? I would think that she would want me to come home. I'm ready.
I NEVER mention it. When we do talk about full blown reconciliation she says "I'm right there."
Latest - We signed the treaty Thursday night at dinner. As Don Corleone said, "This war ends right now." ------ Recommitted to marriage. Agreed that our ultimate goal is a deep, intimate relationship based upon trust and respect. W had her ring on, I put mine back on. Good thing I did not chuck it. Agreed that we may move about 15 miles to a town we really like in order to get a fresh start. W told daughter that "Daddy will be coming home soon." W said that she is falling back "in love" with me W invited me to father's b-day party in April. W and I are going away for 1 week in April. She is planning trip.
Any advice? I'm playing it cool, but I want to go home!
1. She is really enjoying dating me -- It is so weird hearing that we are dating. Married for 7+ years and we are dating.
2. The trip is definitely on in April.
3. Do not be afraid to say anything or ask anything. We are going to have a deep intimate relationship based upon openness and trust.
4. I will be coming home very soon. W said she needs a little more time to work on herself, before she tackles me (LOL).
5. W said that she has those "love feelings" and is really enjoying that anticipation of things to come. She said she feels excited.
6. She told me to sleep like a baby knowing that everything is going to work out for us and that she is almost ready for me to come home. She said... no pressure.. let's just enjoy each other.
Well my first thought would be to take it slow. Think about when you first meet her. Did you move in together quickly or did you date a while and not live together until marraige? You don't have to start back at square 1 but your not to the honeymoon part yet either.
Both of you are making major changes in yourselves. You are not the same guy that she used to know. Let her enjoy who you are now and work towards moving back in. Once those feelings of "Love" are fully ingrained in her then move forward with moving in.
My 2 cents take it or leave it.
Me 34 Wife 32 DD 11 DD 9 DS 7 Seperated since March '07
Wow, Fish. You are doing great, and are one of the lucky ones! I know what you mean about wondering if another bomb is going to go off...I am sort of in that mindspace right now (I'll update my thread in a minute).
You have shown, beyond a doubt, that: 1. DB works if you give it time 2. She controls the sitch 100%
Nice work, buddy.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Fish, I am happy for you. It is wonderful that you and your Wife are both willing to work on the Marriage.
I also wanted to say that what you and your Wife have been through is the typical 7 year itch.
DBing is perfect for that and the solution oriented way of solving problems really works.
There are some here who have a Spouse in MLC who will not see results so quickly, because you are dealing with a Mental illness which is not the same as having communication problems or being bored or feeling unfulfilled, etc.
Again Fish, I wish you well, take things slowly and let her set the pace for now.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
