woog, it is an ongoing process. i do feel pretty good as far as how i feel. i just need to keep my eye on the prize, look for little positives. that is why i reread the dr. book to remind my self that if and when it happens it will be in little steps.i am seeing some positives, but just need to patient.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
i will admit , alot of my success with my wife has been the ability to not react when she says something that would have previously upset me. i am able to internalize it. i usually let it out when i see the mc, or i come here. anywhere but at home. my wife just sees a completely calm husband. it has made a signifigant difference. because for all her bluster at times as far as moving out, she really has made very little effort to do so. of course, that could change at any time. she is getting some money , i would assume from her fathers estate, and who knows what she will do with it.
the hardest part to honest with you is the lack of intimacy. not one touch or kiss in 5 months is a lot to deal with. also , just realizing that this whole process could take many more months. so i have to mentally and spiritually prepare myself for the long haul, with no guarantee of success. that is where my faith in the Lord comes into play. i know i have seen little positive steps the last couple of months. but i also know that until the divorce is taken off the table i will be very apprehensive. my emotonial well being is at stake. so i am being very careful to not put too much faith in what my wife says or does. that is why i pray everyday for strength, patience, and a loving heart. because i do have moments of weakness, just looking at a photo of the family, can still bring tears to my eyes. i see so many people on the bb's who are struggling. i wish i could get everybody to understand the time frame we are looking at. this is not a quick fix. it takes more patience than i thought i could ever muster up.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
find my self in a major funk mood today. mad at myself for having my expectations for my wife way too high. i know better. wife did not see the disappointment. but i know it is there. she was very friendly whan she got home after being gone two weeks, dealing with the death of her father and having to take care of his affairs. it was actually unfair for me to expect anything at all. she was emotionally and physically worn out.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
mad at myself for having my expectations for my wife way too high
I hear ya Craig. As hard as we try sometimes those expectations just creep on in. We don't even know they're there until the W walks in the door and gives you the cold shoulder. The pain in the gut is an instant reminder.
It's normal, it'll happen. Shake it off, and march on. You are a warrior! It's part of the war, another battle between good and evil. You'll take many hits, bloodied, bruised, and starved, but in the name of Christ, stand up to the onslaught, raise your shield, swing your sword, and fight on to the death. Let NOTHING stop you! NO FEAR!!
It is spiritual warfare my friend, have no doubt about that.
May the Spirit of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, raise you up, make you strong, give you courage, and a faith that moves mountains.
Stay the course, fight the good fight!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
cog, you are like a guardian angel. you always seem to show up , when i am a little down. honestly, for the majority of the time i am doing very well. you are right about not knowing that the expectations are not there until a situation takes place. i am just glad wife did not see disappointment.the enemy will not prevail. Jesus is a mighty warrior, fighting for my marriage. he is my source. he is my deliverer. may the blessings of the LOrd be with you and your family.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
it has been 5 months since the bomb was dropped. part of me is waiting for the next bomb. things are eerily quiet and peaceful around my house. no r talk, no divorce talk, no moving out talk, nothing but comfortable conversation. i know, why am i complaining. well i am not . i can feel that something is going to happen. i pray for positive feedback from my wife. i pray for my wife to stop the divorce process. dbing is working, results are painfully slow and in very small increments. must keep my focus on Jesus, not on wife. going out of town on business next week, first time going out of town for months. it will feel good to get away. must keep my pma up.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
No news is good news. She sees the changes in you. Trust me. If we see them here then she must. Be positive, be friendly, be supportive and above all else, be good to yourself.
