I'm just not for "nicely." There's nothing "nice" about infidelity, and I think we as betrayed spouses LOSE ground by being artificially "nice" to our filandering spouses. - Choc.
Okay, Pollyanna here just reminding ya'll to play nice.....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
puppy/chocolate I need some advice. I was just your way by Distressed67. My wife started talking to an ex boyfriend from 6 years ago (he broke her heart and decided to come back now). She assumed no one would want her once she had a baby and was married (umm hello ? what about me ? :)) she does not want to fix things with me; it's too late; she admitted to kissing him too. she said the only way to fix our marriage was that she needed space so I moved home with mom and dad and let her and our 2 year old son have our house we just bought. well lo and behold, 12 hours after i move out, OM spent the night ! i went back and kicked him out. i guess the question is, how can I prevent any and all contact between her and OM, or possibly get her to work this marriage out ? she is calling a mediator tomorrow. we haven't gotten along in a month since the bomb went off, however we just got back from Tennessee for a week with her family. she was very polite and we got along great the entire trip, however her mind is made up she says. what can I do ?
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
You can't really MAKE someone WANT to work on their marriage. That is entirely her choice. All you can do is work on YOU, and you can also lay out -- and learn to enforce -- your own boundaries of personal integrity.
I would assume that one of them is "I cannot live in a marriage where another man is sleeping with my wife in my own house."
One mistake that you made, that I would correct IMMEDIATELY, was leaving your own house. I would simply move back in, and when your wife says "What the hell do you think you are doing??!", say "I'm moving back into my own home." If she says "I can't live like this!" then say "I understand. If you want to leave, I certainly can't stop you, but I'm done inconveniencing myself, and distancing myself from my own son when I've done nothing wrong."
If she wants to call mediators, attys, etc., you can't stop her, but you can certainly stall and delay.
i work 3rd shift, so I slept alot. since I was tired all the time, I wasn't always lovey dovey. So with me being at work midnight to 8am, she's home alone every night with the baby and scared. well she started drifting away when her ex (her "first") came back after 6 years. He broke up with her and she never got over him. well he's back and that is what basically is causing the divorce. I got the "I need space" and "ILYBINILWY" typical answers. her mind is made up as far as I know. the OM "came back" to her and she's in love with him. (note: both of our families believe she has gone insane). she got pregnant after we were together a month, we got a place, then married, then bought a house. She said she doesn't want to be married, and she didn't think anyone would want her after she had a baby and got married. so now is her chance to jump ship
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
I'm certain it's our son together. There was no one else. I can't really afford the house on my own either. I could make it barely, but I think selling or renting is the better idea. I sent her flowers today, but we still have a mediator session next week
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
i didn't know you were gauging the situation by my answer. I'm not sure what exactly you want me to say so here goes.....it's my house too, i WANT to live there. I do NOT want to kick my wife and son out and have her move in with her mom and dad, sister and brother. I moved out because she needed space. obviously then she snuck a guy over in our bed. I want things to be amicable between us; I'd rather go through a mediator than ugly lawyer/divorce proceedings. If i move in, she will surely move out. however i've already said neither of us can afford the house if one of us took their name off of the mortgage. what is your suggestion ? i wanted my son to live their because its his house and there's a kitchen for her to cook for him. I do not want to kick my son out of there. I work 3rd shift so I can't be there at night. he's 2 years old. what is your suggestion? both of us living there with him is not an option. I asked her tonight. she said its not because there's someone else involved.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
