I am putting my point across. This is my life. You don't have a right to tell me how to live my life.
You can call the authorities if you like. I know what I am doing.
Crucifixion aside - I was attempting - obviously WRONGLY, to show SPM a different point of view than his own. I was trying to put another spin on what his wife may be thinking. I don't know the full story on everyone's situation and you don't know the full story on mine. the stuff I have posted on your thread was also to point out a different point of view. It was not to say what your h was doing was okay - I thought this was a divorce BUSTING website - not a husband bashing website and except for one or two posts on your thread lately, people were not helping you divorce bust - they were helping you with righteous anger, sympathising yes, empathising yes. Divorce busting - no.
I am not a crack whore. I am a single mum with no family for support.
You might not agree with what I do - but frankly I don't care. I was putting forward an alternative point of view. See you all later...I won't be back again.
I am sorry to tell you this but the majority of us here are single parents with young children.
There is no excuse.
Our WAS's were the irresponsible ones, and we were left in charge to take care and nurture the children, not to act like them.
When my oldest child turned 12, he took a babysitter safety class teaching how to do first aid, etc. Then and only then did I leave for short periods of time.
Have you thought about the possiblity of something terrible happening to your daughter while you are at the gym?
What if she got ill and wasn't able to get to the phone to call you? What if a fire started? What would happen if someone broke into your home?
You have to understand that nobody is telling you that you are a terrible person, perhaps you just dont know any better, but what you are doing is wrong and grounds for child endangerment.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
LT, I will apologize for the crack whore comment. That was inappropriate. Actually I wasn't implying you were one but that is what I was picturing in my mind when I was reading you leaving a 6 year old home alone. I have read and seen on the news these women who go out to score some crack and they leave their babies home alone. I know you are not a CW so I do apologize for that, it's just that reading your post really got me upset. I have a 6 year old and I could not fathom the idea of leaving him home like that.
A 6 year old child should NEVER be left home alone. That is completely insane.
LT, I know your comments about this being a Divorce Busting site were in part directed at me as I have made some of the comments on Mrs thread. I will state right here that I am totally behind busting any D possible. I was not encouraging anyone to not stand for their M, I never will. It is a personal choice. Mrs knows her H is an irresponsible parent right now. When one parent is so irresponsible the other has to step up, and that is precisely what Mrs does.
You can stand for your M and still stand for yourself as a person. You can stand for your M and still refuse to be treated with complete contempt and disrepect. You need a backbone to stand, period.
Sorry SPM for the hijack. I think you are handling your sitch very well. Good luck to you.
SPM, I am just dropping by to say sorry for my language on your thread. I just got really upset about LT sitch.
Just wanted to let you know that I think you are doing great too and I don't blame you for being upset that your wife left your oldest to babysit the other children while you were only 10 minutes down the road. IMO, it was completely unjustified of your wife.
Loosethread, I think there are differences across cultures. In the days of the family farm in the USA, parents would leave their 12-13 year old kids for a week or two, to go work remotely or do some work-for-hire. These days, though, it is neglect at best and possibly endangerment, to leave a child as young as 6 alone for more than a short time. In the States, anyway. Every community is different though.
Thinking about my situation a little more, I think: it wasn't an immediate danger to the kids. They were home alone, but when I spoke to them, things were quiet and calm. Thhe 6 year old put herself to bed, alone. This is sad, to me. And so unnecessary. (The 11 and 12 yr olds were busy doing their own thing. ) The boys stayed up too late.
To me it is not a major crime, but it is an unnecessary loss for me and for my kids. Why can I not spend that time with them, putting them to bed? I would enjoy it, they would enjoy it. It's been months. This is a rip off. I'm tiring of this. My rights as father have been denied. I can't believe she thinks this is good for everyone involved. One incident is not a major crime, but as a part of a pattern of denial of my time with my kids, it is a crime and a shame. Truly shameful.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
My weekend was purty good. Not all good but purty good.
On Saturday, I had about 7 hours with the kids out of the house. Then they got tired so I brought them back. I didn't see my 11yr old because he had a previous special thing he was doing with some friends. I haven't seen him in a week now.
Sunday I was again supposed to spend time with the kids but 1 hr before W was supposed to drop them off, she called to report a change in plans. The kids had homework so couldn't spend the day with me. See, if I were in the house, I'd do their homework with them. And I'd enjoy it. But since I am prevented from going into the house, this option is not available to me. So I did not see them Sunday.
I hate this.
Despite that, there was some good stuff from the weekend:
I played racquetball with my 12 yr old son. Good fun.
The three kids and I had a nice time Saturday. Lots of touching and holding hands and goofing and just hanging out.
Saturday I called up a friend and got an invite for me and 4 kids to their house to watch the superbowl. That was cool. In the end we did not go, but I solicited the invite, and for that I congratulate myself.
Sunday I GAL'd and hung out with adults and watched the superbowl. I was among friends. I laughed a bit.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I got up early, went running, got my heart rate up. Good for me health and mood!
Sunday morning I goofed off with my buddie's 4yr old daughter. That was fun, even if I wished I were with my own.
Sunday evening I phoned the house, spoke to my boys. Both my girls declined to speak with me on the phone. Their mother was right next to them, encouraging them to speak with me, to no avail. I wonder where the girls get the idea that it's ok to just ignore their dad? This wasn't so good, but my reaction was good. I was calm and didn't let this bother me. My girls are complete innocents, after all.
Sunday noonish I spoke to my 11yr old son about his homework. He was upset because not having his homework done meant he could not watch the superbowl with me. I empathized with him. Told him I know how it feels. But I did not bend the rules for him. Homework first, playtime later. He's gotta experience the consequences. So this was good, I thought. Good parenting through the phone. (W apparently had a yelling fight with him over the homework. Oh, good. That'll work.)
Did I mention I hate this?
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
