Hey girl.... Smile........ I am sitting her all wet because the drains keep on plugging up.... and the stupid dog will not go out to pee unless I stand out there with her...... I took your advise..... I brought two coffees home today.... W smiled and said thanks....... Ok do you need a land line??? If you both have cell phones and are parting anyway let hubbie know that to save money you should get rid of it.... The T.V in the other room keep coming on with flash flood warnings......Not my house but the water is all around us.... there is a small strean in my back yard right now.... If is is still there when I get of work maybe son and I can take our "Fishpens" out...Don't know what is worst... your husband's "spew" or my W silence but sleeping living sepratly in the same house.... We are making small tiny baby steps...
take care sweet heart..... Benn to vegas latley????????????
(((HUGS))) lwb, I'm so sorry. but seriously, I know how hard this is to do (trust me, I know), but take your concentration off of him and put it onto you. no, you don't know where he is. and that is a frustrating, horrible place to be. but its also fruitless to try to figure out. he says he thinks you need (gag) a divorce, but he also has NOT filed, and has NOT proceeded, and has actually stopped you (or hindered, or ignored) you when you have tried to move on (like the separation of finance).
he's an idiot who doesn't know what he wants. not only that, but he isn't putting any real effort into figuring out what that is. he's coasting right now. my opinion, but that's what it feels like to me. feel free to tell me to stfu, etc, or that I am wrong here.
the only thing you can do is take care of you and your girls. that's it. you can't do this for him, don't try. its like talking to a rebellious child...the more you try to convince them of something, the less they will hear. you've seen it with my situation this week. I am not saying we are on a new path, not even close, but look at how freaking long it has taken for h to even say maybe he needs therapy, maybe this is wrong, maybe, maybe, maybe. its been a long road, lwb.
keep your patience, but keep your boundaries, too. those are good and healthy for you, and they send a signal to him, too. there is a fine line between db'g and doormat, but its a definite line and you do NOT need to be a doormat in order to db. yes, you need to pick your battles, but I sure has hell don't think you are asking for too much here.
(((HUGS)))
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Hang in there, girl! NC means NC -- he needs to understand that. Your H appears to now be orbiting away from the "line of reconciliation", just as you were trying to move towards it.
So, I guess the standard course for you would be to ease back as well, though actions as well as words. I guess that's why they say the clock gets set back to 00:00 everytime they break the NC.
(But then WTH do I know. I am feeling like the remedial student trying to advise the valedictorian about academics.)
He has never said once he wasn't going to contact her. So I can't use that....yet. But yes, it does reset that clock, for sure.
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(But then WTH do I know. I am feeling like the remedial student trying to advise the valedictorian about academics.)
Thank you for making me smile.
husband, Good Dr. Love on the coffees, very proud of you!!!
Thanks my SallyM.......oh and your inbox is full of lwb emails.
I am much better now. Funny thing. I was just calming down and my cell phone rang. OW'S H. I thought "Oh great, what did H do now?" but he was just calling to say hi and see how I am doing. We talked for a long time, and not really about OW and H. It was a perfect distraction for me. I am feeling lots better. He did say that OW told him my H broke it off for good, doesn't want to see her anymore, etc. Blah blah blah, proof is in the pudding and the pudding is on my Caller ID.
Such typical behavior. You were distant, so he had to draw you in. He was successful, so then he had to push you away again. Try to keep your eye on the big picture -- he is drawing closer slowly over time, but big movement scares him and he pushes away.
Such typical behavior. You were distant, so he had to draw you in. He was successful, so then he had to push you away again. Try to keep your eye on the big picture -- he is drawing closer slowly over time, but big movement scares him and he pushes away.
Been there, done that...
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
And you are exactly where I hope to be someday, lwb. My H is "we are getting divorced, we need a divorce, as soon as this house sells we are divorcing!" so your H seems much more positive about your relationship than mine! Karen43
lwb, I've been there so many times, too. I think we start to get our hopes up even just a tiny bit only to be thrown under the bus again.
So sorry, he's being such a jerk! He really needs to take all contact w/ow outside your home. She's also an idiot to think calling your home phone is ok.. UGH!!!
You are so strong but, it's ok to cry... We all need to do it sometimes.
