It was actually on it's way just prior to the ring. I don't think it's a metal allergy but will investigate that. She rarely wears jewelry except for her wedding ring. When she does it's always silver.
I don't think it's a plant allergy of any sort either since it has occured at various seasons.
It is ALWAYS associated with stress (especially major decisions)
When we got married her chest was covered in hives.
When we signed our first mortgage she had a terrible case of hives for several days. She even had them on the soles of her feet.
Throughout the last several years of marital stress the hives alays popped up when she was stressed the most. A few occasional bouts with eczema occured.
November and part of December were extremely stressful. We "divorced" several unhealthy relationships. People that were around us that caused us great deals of stress. Money was also tied to these relationships so that created stress too.
The eczema started in her ear this time and moved to various parts of the body. Yes it is now coming up under the ring. She did a round of pred which did not get rid of it.
The vacation, although wonderful, was also stress producing. We were physically closer than ever before. She really tried to relax into this but when there was too much she would close off.
So I think this is a stress response. Of course allergies may be partially responsible so we're open to finding something out there also.
I seem to be going through bouts of "the crisis of heightened expectations" That's tough too.
She's trying, that's obvious. But it's still tough. Basically I'm horny as hell and that's not helping.
When we go to bed at night we agree to hold each other for 60 seconds. She's good with that as long as there is the agreement. Kinda weird but it works I guess.
I'm thinking the problem at this point is some sort of fear of intimacy thing. Anyone have any opinions?
We're headed to a wedding tonight. That should be fun.
Have you read the book, Peace Between the Sheets? If not for you, it may be a good book for her to read... a place to start in reintroducing intimacy.
I don't advocate sex with orgasm, but the book does. But just because the book does, doesn't mean there aren't good suggestions in it, and you can modify it to work best for you.
I have not read all of your thread, so don't know the details other that you and your W have reunited. That is great! The one thing that jumped out at me in the posts was the fact she is telling you to be patient and to take small steps. Please, please take her seriously about this. The thing I see in common with almost all the men here on the board is when their W's give them just a little encouragement....they go ape! They think everything is back to normal....but it's not yet. They rush the wife before she is ready for the physical intimacy. I'm sorry that these illnesses have beset the two of you, but she may be very stressed and feels pressured. Perhaps you don't even realize that you are placing pressure on her. Try to keep things relaxed and maybe act more like her best friend right now until she gets over her anxiety.
I sure hope it holds. Good luck.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
