I agree with you. I think my H won't sleep in the same bed with me because he is afraid he might have some feeling towards me. And he says it's because he doesn't want to give me the wrong impression. I don't believe it. Or maybe I live in a fantasy world. Who knows but I think I'm right.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Not to diminish it or anything, but I think jealousy is a part of Anger.
Jealousy is also a result of fear.
In the first few weeks after he told me about the OW I was AFRAID. H eleid and siad she was a client at the gym where he was a trainer. He told me she was older, but fit and had a belly ring.
She is older, not a gym client, I think she's got a belly ring, and not fit or unfit--just naturally skinny.
He teased me with this for a few weeks. I didn't know how I could compete. Sure I had and was still losing weight.
But my fear that sprouted jealousy began to dissipate quickly when his lies fell apart. And Sweetheart wasn't caught in them, no, he was cycling and so confused that he told me...
He talked about the OWs flaws.He listed all her negative traits--non compatible, not bad things. But some were about baggage she had too...
He was leaving me for what? And he was...well, behaviourally not the greatest catch at that point!
But sure I was jealous those first weeks. After that, I don't think so because I knew things weren't rosy and that neither was happy. It was their lesson though.
So can there be jealousy if there is no fear? What do you guys think?
Jealous, honestly no. Sick to my stomach, yes. The whole thing kinda creeps me out a bit. Its like he developed a taste for eating out of garbage cans. Not sure why I feel that way, but its a problem as I having a hard time thinking about him touching me. I feel like I have to de-lice him or something. I find it repulsive.
The revenge part I never had either. I had dreams of my H running me over with a SUV. But that's it.
Treese, I kind of felt the way you did until after he was gone about a month and then it was like Hunh.
It's nice not to be criticized for boiling eggs. It's nice to not have the TV on ALL the time. It's nice not to have a exorcism-worthy demon H in the house, complaining and whining and sleeping 14 hours a day and complaining that I do not have sympathy for him.
Simply, in many ways life got easier.
Plus I get his spot in the garage (good now that it is winter) and I buy all the food I like and I decorated in a way that I like, too.
It's about YOU, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
my jealousy is definately fear related. I'm afraid he is having so much fun with her that it eats me up.
My H did the opposite. He told me everything good that she did, and I looked at him and said, "I DON'T CARE". It was like he was defending her to me. After 29 years, I suddenly didn't know who was standing in front of me. I gave him everything and all of a sudden I'm crap and she's a queen who went back to school and made something of herself. Wow! Blew my mind, still does.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
The revenge part I never had either. I had dreams of my H running me over with a SUV. But that's it.
I was scared that my H would take me out in our boat in the middle of the ocean and do something. But I never thought of doing anything hurtful or harmful to him.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Breton - ummmm girl food. Three sons and a husband, and now I can eat light and yummy things when I want. In front of teh TV - We always sat down as a family, and still do when teh boys are home. But I relish the freedom of longing on the sofa with a plate!!
I work for the school system and when we are on christmas break I am painting my bedroom and redoing it the way I want. Screw him. And I'm going to a party this Saturday, Alone!!! And spending the night, he doesn't know that yet.
My aunt invited me to Florida during the 2 weeks, maybe I'll do that for several days. I don't know, but I'm trying to think about me and getting on with my life.
My H is just very quiet at home. Falls asleep on the couch a lot.
He did get angry over the summer, not bad though. Said I cook to early, and we had too many groceries. What??? I just laughed.
I did play with his head a few weeks ago. I know i shouldn't play games but it was fun. I had caught him on the phone one day with OW, he was running up the steps trying not to get caught, and he tried to deny it so I left.
Then last week he came home and I started running up the steps, he came around the corner so fast and looked up the steps and said something to me. I just went in to the bathroom and smiled. Never said a word.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
