I'm fine, still working through a few things, but overall, doing pretty well. I'm still having problems with an over zealous xh, a.k.a. Dick. Like you, the connection still remains, only Dick is still very much in the angry mode, and from what I've gathered may be due to his/our inability to take responsibilities for his/our own actions. Although, this week I have noticed a shift, however, a rather expected shift which comes this time of year.... the old Christmas pattern has emerged.
Oh, I understand how you feel about having difficulties reading the new posters stories, the emotions are so raw, so new, yes, my heart breaks for them too. I can't open up to the threads either but once in a while, when I'm feeling okay.
As for your situation, which I wanted to reply to Imp right away, is now that I've had my mind opened up to MLC, or whatever it is, I've seen many marriages remain while the people have moved on in one way or another. There seems to remain a level of respect and love for each other, with a true understanding of what was, it just seems the people still want the best for each other, or take care of each other, a mutual kind of thing, yet, know on some level it just doesn't work with the two of them together in one house. Although there are two things in common with all the people I've heard from, they all say they don't know what the future will bring, and they seem comfortable with the situation they have now. Hey, I say, if it works, and no one is being hurt, why mess with it...
I hope you come back often and let us know how you are doing.
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
(((((((((((((MTN))))))))))))))))) Oh my gosh Girl it is so good to hear from you, thank you for stopping by..Your working GOOD FOR YOU and tell me does it not feel good to get out and make our own money lol lol I am so proud of you I knew you could do it and you have keep up the good work and keep in touch...
(((((((((Laughing))))))))) Thank you for your kind words, You always kept a level head when it came to posting and you always had a soft way about you, I understand what you mean when you talk about the Holidays coming.. and it just seems like the x just can't let go of you, he needs you to know he is still around... it is hard for him to take responsibilities for his actions for he still is in crisis and needs to put the blame on everyone else but himself..
as far as the Husband and I we are still a couple just not living in the same house, we do not share a bed but we share everything else and that is fine with me, he is still in my life and still is a friend and I no longer have to do his laundry LOL LOL see i still can find ways to laugh about it.
It works for us because with both agreed being friends Best friends as he put it was the way to go, why fight?? why be angry?? it is only going to cause pain for both of us and our children, We talk everyday on the phone sometimes 4 to 5 times, I see him once a week or more, he sees our son about 4 times a week and does things with him, I picked out his new home for him and even helped decorate it, my new man has a lawn service so he goes to my husbands house and does he lawn, my husband comes to my house to do repairs, we work together and it does work for us..
My Husband has a girlfriend funny thing is he does not talk much about her around me but now and then I ask how things are going and he told me she wants him to get divorced but he has told her the same thing divorce is not in his future, down the road who knows what will happen but for now we can co-parent together, work together and be friends.. so yes life is better then it was 4 years ago...
Now you take care and keep in touch.. Hugs Wishing
LOL...fair enough, wishing. It does sound a lot better explained.
But I do have to say that it is great that you all get along. What a help it is for everyone involved. My ex's new guy (who for a number of years was OM) and I get along. I mean there is history there, but what are you going to do. (I do have to admit that it was kind of fun knowing he was scared $Hitless of me for a while.) Holding the grudge does no one any good. And hey, my life is better today than it was before.
Good luck. And when your guy dumps you give me a call. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((IMP))))))))))))))))))) LMAO oh my god I never laughed so hard when I read your post to me it started with a smile then into a full blown laugh then it turned into a coughing laughing tears rolling down the face, I will sure give you a call when the new man dumps me, you can lift my spirits for me....
all kidding aside I do not know what the future holds for me, my husband or even my new man, I only take one day at a time and do the best and be the best I can be. that is all any of us can do...
Good evenging all, today was kind of a strange day for me, I ran into a friend that I have not seen for about a year, she was someome I had talked to when I was in shock when the husband left she had long talks with me and always tried to keep my head held high, when I ran into her today she asked how thing were going and when I filled her in she had this sad look come over her face I asked her what was wrong? she said this was not the news I wanted to hear she said I am happy that life is better for you, but at the same time sad that the husband and I did not make it.. when she said those words to me, I felt as if I was a failure..like I was wrong for trying to move on, and for some reason her words just kept replaying in my head..
it made me start to question myself did I do the right thing?? did I move to fast on trying to get past all of this?? should I have given him more time???? It kind of made me feel down and for the first time in a long long time have I thought about any of this....
then I got angry at myself for even thinking about it, and then of course the job that I do I deal with angry people all day and that did not help.. I guess you could say it was a very crapy day..
I look forward to laying down tonight and trying to forget abaout it all...
I hope everyone else had a better day Hugs Wishing
WIO..hi....I just wanted to posted here since you had stopped over on my thread. Thanks so much for your comments on my sitch. I just wanted to say a few things and forgive me, but, they are meant in positive ways.
Frequently, I read in the papere here in NY how 'this one' has split the house in half and the ex-lives upstairs and the LBS lives downstairs...or...how 'that one' finishes the basement for the other. I guess...some people can do that...completely move on with their lives and yet stay connected in close proximity in some way to their S's. I know, for me, it would be impossible. Too much collateral damage.
My main comment here, is, if there is any future with your new man, look closely at this R and don't forget how later down the line, the maintenance of your M status my affect him and erode any good feelings later on. Use caution. The change in feelings can be insidious. Keep an open eye.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Thank you FIB for taking the time to stop by my thread, I understand what you are saying and will think about what you said, I have taken this relationship with the new man one day at a time, The sad thing is you are going into a relationship with a damaged heart and you want to protect that heart, when you are a LBS you remember that pain, you remember those feelings and you nevr want to go through that again...
I have had several talks with the new mam we have talked about us and what we both want and need, he understands when I tell him divorce is not what I want right now, it has nothing to do with having a relationship with my husband..it may sound selfish and I am not trying to be that way this is why from day one I let him know that divorce was not in the picture right now, down the road I do not know what my future holds..
I also think the feelings I was having the other day was also dealing with the news of my brother only having 2-3 months to live and I think the thought of not having him in my life brought back alot of mixed emotions..
Thank you again for your advice it is always welcome
