Recently Divorced

[Mz33]

My h and I have been divorced for a month now and it sucks to say the least. I pushed this divorce and I now know it was the worst mistake I made. My H now wants his space and time to figure out what makes him happy. I am trying but it gets difficult sometimes. We still communicate and remain friends at the moment. I do not know how to be friends with someone you were married to for 10 years. I Hope that by using hints in DR I will be able to rekindle this relationship. He is the love of my life and unfortuantely we had to hit the bottome to realize that

[Sonor]

Hello MZ, I am also recently d. I can agree it sucks. My w and I have been seperated since April and d since August. It went really fast. Like you she also pushed for the d. I found this site two days after she left, if only it would have been a week sooner. I have learned a whole lot from this site and the books. The relationship we have is very little we rerely talk and most of the communication is by txt. As a man I can say that it is very possible that your h is now angry with you. He may feel that you pushed for this, you wanted it so now enjoy. I have these feelings a lot. Not that I am bitter but b/c I could not get her to slow down at all. If he tried anything at all to get you to think hard before completing the d he may sometimes feel the same way. You can do nothing now but let time pass by. I am sure that he is missing you. Especially if he did not really want a d. Just show him that you care. Do not push for anything he may still be in a state of shock. Like you his feet have not begin to touch the ground. Just give him space he may come back around in time. I hope this made sense good luck.

[AKmusic]

I'm curious how many spouses that push for the divorce, really regret it after it is all said and done.

[alamogirl]

Hi AK, I'm with you. My ex pushed for the divorce, and I would love it if he lived to regret it :-).

MZ, give your ex some space. I'm sure it was a blow to him when you dropped the bomb as it was for all of us here on these BBs. I agree with you...divorce sucks! I find it difficult to be friends with my ex but we don't have kids so there really isn't a need to continue communicating.

What you need to figure out is why you wanted the divorce. Why did you push for the divorce? Your ex is going to need a heck of a lot more than, "I'm sorry, honey. I made a mistake."

I hope you have a happy ending.

All my best,
alamogirl

[Teddy]

It's good that you are still communicating. If you let the divorce go final you probably have a lot of work to do. However, fixing a mistake takes a lot of work, and if you are committed to making the sacrifices than you have a shot.

My divorce will be final next week at some point. We signed a mediation agreemtn last week. If my wife came back I certainly would listen long and hard.

[JMC]

I will be filing soon (my MLC-WAW has the papers now - we plan to do this by ourselves). I too hope/pray that she comes to her senses. I miss her terribly.

I can not help but believe that she will one day regret her decision.

Had brunch with my father yesterday and he told me that my cousin recently told her brother that she regrets getting a divorce six years ago.

Teddy - I think your bomb date on your bio may be incorrect.

[Teddy]

Nope, Bomb is correct. She filed on 3/7/07, knew that Spring Break was coming (I teach), encouraged me to go catch some horse racing in California. Felt something was off kilter. So delayed making trip plans. Decided to go to Arkansas instead (live in Texas) to catch the horses there. Started to go through the mail that Wednesday with the idea that I would leave on Thursday morning. Found the change of address card (post office always sends one to the "old" address to make sure it is legit). Confronted her that night, she left at same time. She gave me divorce papers that Sunday. So BOMB was dropped one week after she filed. For that entire week we lead our normal married life in every aspect. Which makes the whole beginning even more strange.

[JMC]

Ahhh, and ouch! I get it. Sorry for my assumption and thanks for the clarification.

[Teddy]

No problem J. Funny thing is, I can totally recognize that this thing could have been A LOT WORSE! There is somebody watching out for us afterall.

[JMC]

I agree that we are never alone, but what do you mean when you suggest things could have been a lot worse? Just curious...if too personal I understand.