Well picked up Db on Monday. I also got a book called Divorce proof your marriage by the Rosbergs. Its a very good Christian based book. My wife got it in the mail and started reading it when she got home. I called that evening to see how the kids were and she was reading it and crying. She told me that she wants to do what is right and save our marriage. She told me that she needs to move with me to be able to stay away from the temptations that are at home. Last night she told me she thinks she needs to stay here when I move because we need to separate so she can get her head clear. It has been explained to me that she is sitting on the fence just swaying in the breaze. I feel like the breeze has been blowing a lot in the last couple of days. I have been giving her, her space. I havent been initiating any R talks. Just listening to her and validating her feelings. No intimate relations in almost 2 weeks. Thats taking a tol on me too. Despite everything we have always had a great sex life. But now I really dont even want to touch her. I feel emotionally connected to her when we do make love, but she acts like I am just providing a service to her. I have been getting discouraged a lot lately though. My heart aches so much, because I want things between us to be good again. I have noticed that she is complementing me more. And have really noticed a lot of thank you's for little things lately. So I have to just keep up what I am doing and remember that I am it this for the long haul not just the first 10 miles of the race. Got about 100 miles to go.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Feeling very discouraged lately. I am starting to question whether I should stay in this marriage or not. I have been reading my new book and it is making me address the hurt that I have put aside so far. I need to hurry and finish it so I can get through these feelings soon. I dont want to end my marriage but I am hurting again and dont want to be. I do love my wife, I am not talking to her about any of this until she is ready to talk to me.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
hagve read Dr, and am reading Db now. And also Divorce proof your marriage by the Rosbergs. W is reading them too now. She is also checking out the bb again, not posting though. I think she felt like everyone was ganging up against her here because she is the WAW. She is just looking for help to sort out her confusion. She is also checking out other christian based websites about marriage. Its hard hearing on a daily basis, her telling the kids that she loves them and then nothing to me. I long for her to tell me that.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Reading all the self help books in the world is not going to help if she is still contacting the OM. If the marriage was her first priority she would not let you out of her sight. Her desire to live separately from you would suggest that she is still with the OM.
Had A great PMA booster today. Had a couple of women from work tell me I looked like the actor Anthony Edwards, when he had hair that is. I havent heard that in years. I am looking really good lately. I have worked realy hard at changing my image.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I am so tired of the emotional blackmale that goes on with the WAW. My w told me this weekend that emotionally she has moved on and why cant I just accept it. Why cant she just accept that I love her. I am just about to the end of my rope. I am ready to concede the fight and move on. I am tired of her having her cake and eating it too. She thinks I am just supposed to walk away from it all. Give her the house that I grew up in. All the furniture. Thje boat that I bought. The jetski that I got through a friend at work. I am just supposed to give up everything to her. To hell with that. I will put it all in storage when I move and I will sell the house. She wants to end our marriage then she needs to realize and accept the consequinces. She will probably have to trade in the brand new car I just bought her because there is no way she can afford an apartment and the kids expenses and a huge car payement. screw it let her suffer a little. Or a lot. maybe she needs a little reality to find out our marriage wasnt so bad after all.
I am so tired of hearing how she never loved me and she only married her because she was pregnant. What a crock. I proposed 7 months before she became pregnant. I was in the garage this weekend and found some old cards that she had sent me when we were dating and were first married expressing her love to me and how much she cared about me. She has changed so much now, she is not the same woman I fell in love with. This new woman has no heart at all and I cant take being hurt anymore. I give up. She can have the divorce. But not my house. Not my boat. Not my heart anymore.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I'm going through the same issues, hearing the same cold words, wondering just who the hell this person is thats' saying this stuff to me. Our (alien) wives must have landed from the same space ship. After awhile, I don't take what she says personal, her negative feelings towards our marriage is driving the bad stuff out of her mouth. Believe it or not, there is a warm caring person underneath the facade, our job is somehow to bring that person out of them. They loved us once, they can do it again. All i can say is keep the anger under control, kill them with kindness and mix in some tough love (push them away a little, let them know you won't be talked to like that, ask them how they would like to be treated if the roles were reversed, blah blah blah). It takes patience, I'm on month number 4 and my wife doesn't want to come home, wants me to let her go, wants a D the whole nine yards. I'm so used to it now, it's almost second nature. Personally, I don't back down to the divorce threat, I calmly tell her that i won't give her one, period. It more or less has forced her to rethink things. Give 'em their space is my motto. But i certainly can't blame you if you've flat had enough. Sometimes, they need to know that before they turn towards us again.
I have been going through this since October 2002. I am tired of it. I am ready to move on. She is confused. I love her but I need to get away for a while. Maybe if I am not around she will want me there. Who knows. Maybe she will miss me.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I have started to distance myself again. I have to be careful. Last time I distanced myself from her I gave up. But then again when I gave up she came back.
I dont want to give up, but I think I have to, to be able to move on.
I dont need her to be happy. I am happy with myself.
I want my W and family because they are a part of me. I love my Step kids. I love my son. I really figure when the dust settles from the divorce and my move that I will have my son living with me anyways. W can only live her life for herself right now anyways. Kids are just another burden to her, just like husband is.
She actually told her son14 that she had given herself to him for the last 14 years and that now its her turn to live her own life. No wonder he spends all his time with his friends at their houses. Kinda hard to be home with a person like that. A person that gets annoyed every time she hears the words Mom......
Talk about being selfish.... Hello their your children. They are going to rely on you for the rest of your life.
The devil has really gotten ahold of my loving caring W, and turned her into a demon.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
