Glad to see you weren't too hungover today to make it to work. They are starting to frown on that, you know!!
Thank you for all of the validation. However... I'm not sure if coming from you I feel any less crazy... hmmm... might need jill to weigh in before I can decide.
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The best part is that she KNOWS that she can go to you with these concerns. She KNOWS that it's safe and that you will love her just the same.
You're right. And you know how much my kids mean to me. Heck, I just love kids period. Kids are such a blessing and I'm just thankful that she feels safe talking to me. My kids make me such a better person. I just strive to be the kind of person they think I am and that they deserve. Life is good, especially with kid hugs. I still make my way to D6s school a couple of times a week to get my fill of primary hugs. I LOVE THAT!!! And I would certainly be there today if I wasn't kidsitting my sick nephew. Did I mention that my life is beautiful?
Yes, Julie you have mentioned that more than a few times. We sure have lots to be thankful for don't we? I'm so glad that we're at a place where we understand that and never take it for granted!
Hugs to you - I love how you can vent and then bounce back with such a wonderful attitude!
I wanted to ask about the friends... Yes, H got there "ahead of you" and spun things his way (lying his fool a$$ off, I'm sure). But, from what you said - it sounds like you found out about that and kinda shut down on this friendship yourself.
If this friend is important to you (which I'm assuming she is), is it worth reaching out to her - maybe even giving her your side of the story over a couple of drinks?
Don't let your future be determined by the crap that X goes spreading around. Don't give him that kind of power over you. You are much better than that!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
If this friend is important to you (which I'm assuming she is), is it worth reaching out to her - maybe even giving her your side of the story over a couple of drinks?
She is important to me. But also, she lives in Oregon and I live in Colorado. I have talked to her about the situation as it was unfolding last year. But the person my X is/has become is not the same person they knew. SO I can imagine that it would be hard to rectify in their heads without being around both of us consistently that someone could do this. Look, my X has changed a lot. And he didn't meet my needs either from early on in our M. But people who didn't even know about our current sitch are commenting on how different X is. I guess he's happy finally and good for him. I'm much happier as well. But when we lived in Oregon, I wasn't happy w/ X. So there is a part of me that ASSUMES (yeah, I know) that they must feel 'I deserved this' or that it's a surprise this didn't happen sooner or whatever... Just being honest.
You might be very surprised as to what they would think. Part of being young is also being slefish and stupid. I know that there are times especially when we are first married that we all have trouble with the idea of forever but that's because in your early 20's forever seems like such a very longtime. I don't think it's until we have our kids that we ever really understand what committment is all about.
Oregon may as well have been a lifetime ago. Your friends have grown up as well. Do you really think that they have become the type of people who would say. "Julie wasn't always happy so she deserved to have husband go outside of the marriage?" I seriously doubt that.
Besides if they have kept your friendship for all these years then there is way more there than the fact that you went to school together. Face it Babe!
Friends, I have a hypothetical situation/riddle for you to address...
If the WAS requested of a LBS to spend Christmas morning together with the kids' at the LBS' house so that they can both be there when the kids come out to see what Santa brought and the WAS appealed to the LBS to consider what was best for the kids and what the kids would MOST WANT on that day and if there was a discussion with the kids beforehand to discuss false hopes and expectations, what would a LBS do/think/feel???
