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Yoyowife #1240366 10/24/07 12:27 AM
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Not wanting to be a doormat is not anti-DBing. And trying to "convince" someone to stay is not DBing.



There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
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Mark, I do think of your kids. All of our kids. We will be able to move on and feel better eventually if divorce happens to us. Kids? Well, we know about kids of split families and its not good.

We, as people of morals, will do our best to keep our kids afloat. HUGS to you Mark. No tears for you because you don't want 'em, but you have to take a hug.

Larrynarry #1240654 10/24/07 12:26 PM
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Originally Posted By: jarhead
The kids will see how you handle things and adjust accordingly. Be strong for them and they will be strong with you.


Hey Mark,

This is so true in many ways. They will see how you are now and it will help them cope in the future. Be strong. You are setting the stage for them to emulate.

I can't give ya a hug so here is a slug on the shoulder
Husband


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
Dr LOve #1240665 10/24/07 12:38 PM
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I hurt for me, but its my kids that really get to me. when you look at the stats for kids of broken homes, well, it mostly just sucks. and it makes me sooo mad at H that he is so casually doing this to them.

I'm hoping the others are right, that we are still strong role models for our kids and that they will be fine, in spite of being from broken homes.


M-41
H-38
M-10 years, T-14 years
Bomb-PA 3/19/07
Separated-6/7/07
Piecing/h back home 5/08
S-6
S-4
D-4

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"

-Mary Anne Radmacher
SallyM #1240726 10/24/07 01:33 PM
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Good morning Mark. Hope your Wednesday is going well.

Yoyowife #1240746 10/24/07 01:41 PM
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Mark,

((hugs)) for your kids and you! I know that you are strong, but its true that the kids take it really hard. Im sad for them, and for you whether you like it or not because you have to watch them go through it!

Love,

Traci


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Ohio_Mark #1242698 10/25/07 07:55 PM
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Mark,

You are doing fine.

The only way for you to divorce bust now is to let go and move on.

And the kids? They would be better off if your marriage was healthy and intact.

Your wife, at the moment, doesn't want that. She may change her mind, she may not.

She's the one ending the marriage, not you.

If you are OK, and flourish and keep your moral compass intact, your kids will be OK. If you fall apart, it'll hurt them more.

--Theoden




theoden #1242801 10/25/07 08:39 PM
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Thanks, Theoden.

I am having a happy hour beverage with the boss tonight, then off to a meeting. I told the wife not to expect me until late.

I am ready to move on. Not sure whether to be happy or sad. I guess it's good that I got here before the divorce, rather than months after.

theoden #1242804 10/25/07 08:41 PM
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Thanks, Theoden.

I am having a happy hour beverage with the boss tonight, then off to a meeting. I told the wife not to expect me until late.

I am ready to move on. Not sure whether to be happy or sad. I guess it's good that I got here before the divorce, rather than months after. I otherwise would have fallen apart...

So I guess it's good that I'm here.

Ohio_Mark #1242817 10/25/07 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted By: Ohio_Mark
Thanks, Theoden.

I am having a happy hour beverage with the boss tonight, then off to a meeting. I told the wife not to expect me until late.

I am ready to move on. Not sure whether to be happy or sad. I guess it's good that I got here before the divorce, rather than months after. I otherwise would have fallen apart...

So I guess it's good that I'm here.
You're getting to that magical place called "detached", Mark. It's tough - a big part of us believes that True Love and Detachment are incompatible. Trust me, some day you will see that Loving Detachment is not only possible, but the thing to strive for. In the meantime, just hang in there and be happy for yourself and for your kids.


Thread #10
22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07
Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
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