Maybe you should consider not seeing him anymore. Maybe you should go out to concerts and to expensive dinners with some interseting and good men. Maybe he needs a taste of what he is really missing. He obviously has very little self respect and feels more comfortable with people of low morals. He needs to rise to be on your level. Force his hand and show him what he is missing. Tell him you do not want to see him anymore. Or not. Plan A is not working so go to Plan B. Go Dark and see what happens. No more R talk. He just gets all defensive and confusing. Breathe.
I think it is great that you laugh at his jokes but he creepd me out with that "look" comment. What an ego. I also hate it when dudes think we are too good for them so they need someone stupider, lazier, uglier, younger, needier. It is as if we have to be punished for being too good for them.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
mk, any suggestions as to where to meet all this interesting and good men?
honestly I have been dark for a long time...dark as I can be at least, considering the kids. I haven't R talked in so long, never call him (except today about the bill, which obviously was temporary insanity).
I swear I am throwing him off completely by asking how he is/how work is going. day 3 of that one and he is baffled by it.
the look comment confused me at first, because it wasn't what I was going for. but I'm afraid to say it was classic H. he's got an ego on him...but deep inside is insecure, so a weird combination.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
thanks gingersnap. going to stick with it, even though I know its hopeless in lieu of saturday.
making out my plan for that day. gym in the morning, then going to take myself to see dan in real life. looks good, I think. maybe it will remind me that life can start again. then maybe a long walk, if its nice out, before its time for the execution...um, I mean, discussion. I plan to get here about 5 minutes late, as opposed to being here when he gets here.
see, ducks in a row type, aren't I?
happy I'm seeing my therapist on thursday. lol, I should tell her to cancel any plans she has for saturday night.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Dan In Real Life looks really cute. I hope you enjoy it. I feel so much more in control when I have my day planned out, I think you are the same way.
morgan, I have no idea what your husband is going to say on Saturday. But you will be ready for what he says, not necessarily ready for it to happen (even if he says "I want you back, please let me move back home", you wouldn't be ready for that), but you are in a good place to hear these things. I am thinking of you girl. HUGE HUGS
I have no idea how to meet new men that is why I always recycle. It is a sad but true pattern for me. Of my past Rs I have dated multiple men two for two or three cycles. I guess it is a comfort or friendship thing. My H and I were together from 14-17, then again from 25-37. I also did this with three other dudes! But my H won because he was the best kisser and the best in bed for me, and just the best in everything! THAT IS WHY THIS SUCKS SO MUCH!!! I have never been kissed the way H has kissed me because....he worshipped me. It did not even matter that he only had one other GF, he was just so into me! Sucks.
I do remember when I studied at film school there was a plethora of interesting and cute men, but not so rich. Here in Silicon Valley there are quite a few millionaires running around, might want to land me one of those for a change. You're hot. You can go back to school and hook up. Or just look under your nose and find a Luke. Or look in your past and find a Christopher. Maybe browse at schol to find a Max. There is a sea full of men. Aim high. It's just dinner.
What am I saying? Let's just lick our wounds a while shall we? Let's be happy alone or happy either way.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I just caught up on all that's been happening. You are doing great. Just hang in there. I know you are expecting the worse for Saturday, but act AS IF you are expecting something good. Dress nice. Do your hair and make up. It will make you feel more confident.
Your H openly says he is confused. He does not believe he is a good man. He is probably planning on doing what he thinks is "right". MK is probably right. He possibly believes that he is not good enough for you and there is no coming back at this point.
Maybe this talk is not what you are assuming. You have been incorrect before. Try not to set yourself up. Your planned responses are great. You are going to be ok. Even if it is the D talk, take it in stride. Saying is not doing. If he files, it stil isn't a death sentence.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
tough night last night. finally settled into bed, but couldn't focus on my book so put some 1st season gilmore girls on. need that strong/happy single mother story I guess. ended up falling asleep by 11:30, but was up again at 12:30 with my daughter needing the bathroom. ugh. I was sound asleep and then I wasn't and didn't think I ever would get back. thankfully I did, eventually, so got a few hours in.
rainy day here. I db'd my kids this morning...just agreed with them about yes, it is fine to go outside and play in the leaves, go have fun with that. its cold and rainy out, they kept insisting and I finally just went with it. they were back inside in about 15 seconds. lol. wish h's were like that.
he called this morning to say hi to the kids and sounded really stiff and backed off. It could have been the fact that he was tired (he left at 5am for the drive down to ct, said he was nauseous he was so tired), or it could be that he is truly backing off from me because he knows what is coming on saturday, he has made his choice. who knows.
either way, in spite of the stiffness, I acted as if and asked how he was. he sounded surprised when I asked how he was, but answered. then he did his own 180...asked nothing about me or about my day. again, could be that he was tired, could be that he is done. no way to know. just thought that was interesting. told him to drive safe and that was that.
gym this morning, then making the list for my therapy tomorrow. other than that, will play with the kids, and take advantage of the rainy day to just chill out and read a bit. going to read a bit in DR, but also finally start, "what could he be thinking." think that one might be a good one to have under my belt for saturday. I don't expect H to come by tonight, even though he said he might on the way back from ct. if he does, will take myself to the library to read a bit more, I think.
breathing in, breathing out. glad I have a little time to prepare, I really need it.
I do think he is going to go with the, "I'm doing this for you" bit, btw. and I need to really have some good rote responses to it. crap, that.
Last edited by morgan; 10/24/0711:56 AM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
mk, meant to say, I was looking at the picture of the 4 of us last night. I think you are right. as much as I'd like the company, I think stepping back from men in general and just focusing on me and my family as it now is is probably the best decision.
I don't have any luke's in my life, and can't imagine going with a christopher (definitely have never recycled) but who knows, maybe there is a max out there somewhere. or maybe I'll find a luke somewhere.
my problem is I really do feel myself going into hybernation mode. if he's not in my living room, I'm probably not going to meet him.
but again, probably better just forgetting that side of things for a while.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
