There's an ego boost for ya! Yeah, my kids said I did a la ghostrider
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Hmmm Nic Cage...Always liked him since The Rock...where Vanessa Marcil plays his really cute girlfriend FYI. Of course there is always Sean Connery. One of my older crushes. Him and Jack Nicholson anyday
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Oh yeah, forgot about that, SEE, I knew I liked Vanessa for a reason!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Glad your H can have no-strings-attached sex whenever he wants and then return to his gf who he happens to be cheating on. Sounds like just the kind of guy you should be chasing, one that doesn't know how to stop cheating. This sounds like a competition to see who can screw him into being with them.
I'd like to point out a few critical things: You are believing what he says and you are also doing a fair amount of mindreading. If he wants to have sex with you, he obviously isn't going to point out how things are great with OW. You believe him when he says things aren't working out because you want to. He knows just how to pull your strings. And he definitely is stringing you along. He probably says the same things to her about you. Does she know that you are having sex with him? I'm sure not. He just gives her a convenient little lie so he can run over to see you.
If you don't want anything more than sex, then I guess keep doing what you are doing because you are certainly getting that. If you want to be treated like I'm sure most wives would prefer (except swingers), you might want to reign it in. What you do is certainly up to you. My opinion is biased by the fact that I personally would never accept sharing my wife with some other guy that is also having sex with her. Call me old fashioned that way.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I was just Imng w/ H and asked him if his offer still holds for me to help pay half of the filing fee. He said no....I said why not, you want this too...I asked if he was seeing the girls 2nite b/c I will see him halfway....he asked if I had a date...and said he will not see the girls 2nite and for me to get another sitter....
H is pist b/c yesturday I emailed him that I was ready to start to date...and he was so upset, his response was-F***you, you wh***!!!
In the IM today I told him I was no longer waiting on him that I too deserve happiness...that dating does not mean f******..he said it does to him and that desperation was showing on my face.. I wrote back- no longer will I be put up on a shelf for you to take down whenever you get bored and still continue w/ her.. this is called going on w/ my life, just as you have
H- well then you file and move out so I can sell the house M- you have the paperwork already,lets split the cost.. H- not doing it, have fun 2nite and get another sitter!
You see H is the type as I told him long before when I first knew of the bomb, I told him you will never be happy w/ anyone..until you realize what it takes to make your self happy.. <<I think he has some narcissit& BP characteristics>> I told him to stop expecting others to *make* you happy....b/c they will only disappoint you everytime....
My oldest D and I were talking about OW (I can talk to her about some things). I told her that maybe daddy's big blowup w/ her this weekend was b/c she didnt want to "babysit" my two little ones while H went to the football game (clingy always wants to go w/ hi m everywhere). Oldest D said she didnt think thats why,but she didnt hear exactly what they were fighting about, only heard "real bad" words coming from daddy, like calling her a B****! Yep! That sounds like the good 'ol H....nothings changed..... do I realy want this manic???
So, hopefully some of what I wrote to him today sinks in... if not maybe I can save some$ to start things rolling...
I think narcissistic hits the nail on the head. So, it's fine for him to have someone else, but you couldn't even consider dating without being a whore? Wow! Double standard.
I know you probably want to feel the connection of sex, but I think you did the right thing. He should be the one fighting to keep you, not expecting you to be his toy and available whenever he deems to grace you with his presence. You're better than that. Maybe he will get off the snide if he fears he'll lose you. Maybe he isn't worth it anyway? If he moved out of OW house and back to yours with his promises, could you trust him? Every time he went to "a game" or on some errand, would it be possible to trust that he wasn't getting some on the side from the OW?
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
H came in last night w/ his ugly disgusted face on...he went directly towards the back porch and said he had to show me something..our lawn guy told him he had killed two tiny piosonous snakes and H showed me one of them..the guy said one was right at the back door. Was he concerned for us...whatever
The girls & I had just finished dinner (tacos) and there was one tortilla left..H helped himself by saying he was starving. As I was cleaning up and H was looking inside the refrigerator I handed some things to please put back in there for me and he said "what do I look like your maid?" (H still very upset from the earlier email convo)...I said "Oh yeah thats right you only do those things for your other wife"....then I left the kitchen..and let it be...not worth my time really..
After I gave teh kids ice cream and I started to eat my favorite Dove w/ brownie affair- he wanted a taste..(OW has him on a strict diet) he loved it and said oh well there goes my diet...I let him finish it...I was nice as can be even though he was being a total butthole...he wanted more and you would of thought ..my God are you having an orgasm?? He moaned and said "what is in here?" Is there actual little peices of brownies? Duh..yeah...
Anyhoo....that was my boring nite which he ruined by not taking the girls elsewhere,(on purpose) but I will need to see if I can GAL this weekend.....
Good morning everyone..how is everyone today? I need to get a hold of $1800 to retain an attorney....
The other NICE personality of H Im'd this morning just to say he was about to leave out of town (one nighter this time) and for me to have a great day!
I responded w/ you too..enjoy!
I wish I had the $ to file for D.....I feel like this is the way I need to go..or else H will gladly keep me in limbo forever.... not 100% sure I want it,but only 50%...
Why now that I take his ofer to pay half of the fee, does he back off??
Not slamming you here but H isn't keeping you in limbo, you are helping him keep you in limbo by being intimate with him! He makes empty promises, there is the intimacy thing but yet he cannot make a clear decision and he doesn't have to because you keep giving in to his wants.
Thats the first step. See where this leads. Of course if he runs back to OW and never looks back...file away. He is just leading you and probably her too, on.
See if any atty's will take a smaller retainer fee to get started and let you pay the balance after. I found several that understood the sitch and were willing to work with me if need be. How about a small loan? or Credit Card?
Last edited by waw1978; 10/17/0702:06 PM.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
