chicki's drama 4 h moved back, but for THIS?

[waw1978]

I have to agree that if you feel like say ILY then you should when its appropriate. Not all the time but if you feel its okay then go for it.

I know my H travels for bus quite often and I tried to give him a hug before his last cross country trip as I often wonder the same things about plane flights etc. But he wasn't really into to it so I didn't push it. Next time I just told him to have a safe flight.

[chicki]

Heim,

Thanks for the reminder,but this time I want TRYING to make him jealous. He was speaking to the girls & they honestly didnt know who's house we were going to.

I agree I sense it from H that he wants to hear it.

Saving,

I thought the perfect time to say it was just before he boarded the plane,but I didnt (missed opportunity).

[not an ex yet]

Hey chicki,
Thought I would drop in and catch up on your sitch. Backing up a little bit, I would have to agree with some others here that if you are having a hard time separating the feelings when you have sex with your H, then you should definitely stop.
I was able to do this with my H for awhile too always telling myself I shouldn't feel bad b/c afterall, he is my H! But now, I think I would just feel used.
Other than that, I think your sitch seems pretty positive! I'm sure it is frustrating for you, but if you are willing to stay patient and let him work out his issues on his own, it seems you have a good chance of making it through this! You are doing great!

[chicki]

not an ex yet,

Even though I tend to still do quite alot of slip-ups, its good to hear when you get some head way in other's perspective...thanks!!

[chicki]

Weekly visit update:

Why is it that before H came over I was trying to once more talk myself into not being weak incase he approches me sexually, but at the same time as I came out of the shower and I am rubbing lotion all over my body ....I am wishing H wold walk in...and make mad passionate LOVE, not sex, but LOVE......

UGH!!!!! So, I took my time but, H was running a little late, so I finished & got dressed, gave up, convinced myself to stop the nonsense.. at least for the moment.....

When H came in exhaustion was written all over his face..he dragged himself in and compalined of how tired he was and how he was burnt out out of nascar..yeah thats a first...I was in the Lr eating dinner...I know letting him eat is also cake eating,but as far that goes I really dont mind...I am not the type to eat infront of others and not offer.....He laid down on the sofa and gave the girls their traditonal beany bears that he gets form wherever he travels too. H told them maybe they will start to colect them from every state. I told D10 to ask daddy what she had asked me the other day. I told him that the girls were confused. I told the girls this weekend they will be w/ you at your place & his fav. D7 said no daddy doesnt live there anymore. D10 said "oh yeah, daddy why is it you moved all your stuff back and you said you were coming back but your still not only here but on Tuesdays & Thursdays?"H-I will not just yet, not ready yet. I didnt say anything. The girls just looked at him.

I was putting wart medicine on D6 on my bed when H came by to say goodbye & turned his cheek for me to kiss him. I called him to ask him something and then I told him to give me a real kiss. Heck w/ have sex so that should not be a promblem anymore....I think he didnt want to get anything started b/c he truly did look tired. So he leaned into me & gave him a big soft,lingering one....He said, oh..dont start....he gave me another (granted D6 was right there and he kept looking over at her like to say are we doing anything about her?(I dont know,assuming) All I wanted to do was kiss him... Then I kept talking to him as he was heading out... I noticed he was breathing hard, deeply...hmmmm, but I left it at that......

I file it always as a good day when we dont argue....
I didnt ask when he was coming back..I know he dreads that now everytime he visits....
Even though its cake eating to some here....

I get to show him my cooking he said he misses....

He relaxed watched his BIG screen TV that he doesnt have at OW's

Again he pointed out how he was not taking anymore of his clothes, but I acted as if...told him he can do want he wants, since he had taken most anyways..He said no, no....

[chicki]

I Im'd H last night just before he was getting off work. I wanted to go to a concert tonite (his nite to visit), but I was not going to ask him to stay w/ them as it sould be too late fo rhim to be at our place). So I told if it would be better he comes by on Friday since he has to come & pick them up then for the weekend.
I was surprised of his answer, before he would jump to it (not to have to come over two the days in row).

I was also surprised he didn't rush me since it was past his time to leave work?

M- would you mind not coming over tomorrow and come over Friday since you will be here anyways?

H- thats up to you. you must have plans.

M- yes

H- a date

M- nope

H- where will you be

M- in xx side of town

H- oh at x place? what time

M- no- its a concert- not your type though-christian

H- are you going alone?

M- yes

H- your lying, why cant you be honest with me? You dont go anywhere alone.

M- I am being honest, if you choose not to believe thats your problem. Since you left I go many places bymyself. But I will try to call around to see if I can get someone to go.

H- so you are going w/ a guy? And he will prolly meet you there.
I know I have no right to ask these quesetions, but I dont understand why you are being vague w/ your answers.

M- It's not my intention to do that. No I am calling to women from church.

H- OK. Can you drop them off by 6 to my work?
M- yes.

H- Make sure they are dressed decently,no trailer trash look.

M- OK. I love you for this!!!! <<<hint, I'v been wanting to say ILY and waiting for the right time>>>>>

H- you love me anyways(?)<<glad he noticed, was wondering>>>

As I was trying to log off he told me to wait a minute & then he kept small talk. I was wondering ..hmm..its 30 minutes past his clock out time & he's not in a hurry to rush home?

Then I say goodnite and he writes- Yeah, let me go and be miserable now. He has said that before meaning he's going home to be miserable w/OW.

I wrote back- Right, thats why you cant leave....This si what I meant when I call her the wife b/c now you cant seem to leave and I am now the outsider.....

H- shut up.... <<I am glad he didnt take offense by it>>
M- besitos (kisses in spanish)<<I think he likes my new sayings>>>
H- yes you too.....

So, lets see how my night goes. I am looking forward to finally GALng its been a while...

[MissingMyHoney]

Why does our sitch always think there is someone esle or dont believe where we go? My W still dont believe I go to church, she says I go to Walmart - wtf. I invite her to my church and she refuse to go so I dont get into no details as to whether or not I go to church.

[not an ex yet]

Then I say goodnite and he writes- Yeah, let me go and be miserable now. He has said that before meaning he's going home to be miserable w/OW.

I wrote back- Right, thats why you cant leave....This si what I meant when I call her the wife b/c now you cant seem to leave and I am now the outsider.....

Hey Chicki. It sounds like this convo went pretty well except I would try to stop this kind of comments. If he says he has to go be miserable now, just say, "Yep. see you later." Just my opinion. Hope you had fun at the concert!

[chicki]

UGH!! Guys, dont get me wrong I love the attention I get from men, but lately its been strangely over the top!! Do I have a sign that reads "seperated"?

My work has changed some positions around so now we have more men in our building. I work in the health field so, not many men around...until recently..

In the past week two diff men have told me of two diff men that are interested in me....will not go there, especially at work.

So yesturday this guy says I know someone who wants to know your marital status & w/out thinking I said seperated, then I quickly took it back & told him really no one here knows & I'd like to keep it that way. Today he asks well, what do I tell him, I said married. I've noticed the looks & today it was getting to me, why??

So, I am IM'ng to H & I complain...I wrote- UGH!! I want to be left alone!! I must have a sign that reads- SEPERATED. He writes back- thats what happens when you tell people your business... UH, no only three of my closest friends know & it wont get beleive me, he(2 of them being my bosses). Then he writes- Do I need to go over to your work?? No, I said I will handle it..

He says maybe they found out about Jared and want in the action....
I tell him I am going to lunch and he ask why so early its not even 11 am (it was 11am). I remind him I (we) come in @ 6 in the morning. Yeah sure your prolly still talking to Jared..

Anywho, I ignore and tell him I need to go yummy in my tummy...

I asured him there is nothing w/Jared or anyone else,but I cant help if he acts insecure sometimes....

[waw1978]

UGH!! Guys, dont get me wrong I love the attention I get from men, but lately its been strangely over the top!! Do I have a sign that reads "seperated"?

I am cracking up here...Yes, separation permeates through women...men can smell it on us. Probably left over from the cave man days. Pure instinct. Or they can sense the lonliness and desparation.

In my case word of separation has spread through my town like wildfire. My kid brother cannot go anywhere without inquiries about his "younger sister"...I am older but I am not about to correct that. Haven't live here in 11 years so no one remembers that I am the older sibling, lucky me!

As far as work goes...Don't fish off the company pier!