Well your last thread locked so I started another one as you never do so your self!!!!!
We miss you so much. We know why you are only popping in and out but remember you are not alone. You are such a big part to all of us Theo and we want to give you all the support we can.
(((((((HUGS)))))))))
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Let's see...today (yesterday)was my wife's 40th b-day.
I basically blew it off. First time in our marriage.
She's been telling me she doesn't want me around and that she'd rather be with OM and that she wants a separation. So..instead of the usual fanfare, I simply bought a few presents and planned to have cake at home with the kids and wife.
I asked her that morning if I should invite a couple of her firends that night. She said one of her friends invited her to dinner for her brithday, and she invited another friend. I said, "Oh so you made plans." She said, "You don't plan your own birthday."
A few minutes later she brought up the conversation again and I said, "Look, XXXX it's your 40th b-day, and you've told me you want a seoaration and you don't want me around, so I didn't think you wanted me to plan you a party. I didn't have it in me to do it." She started to cry and said I didn't love her. I ended up picking a fight with her before I took the kids to church. I said things like, "I need to move on with my life and this is what it looks like." She suggested that true love does things for people even if they aren't responding, and if I loved her I'd have planned a party anyway. I responded with "I've been doing that for the last 18 months and I'm tired of it."
I dropped the kids at church, got myself a Starbucks and cried. I hate hurting her. I didn't want to. I just didn't feel like making a big deal out of her 40th given the current circumstances.
Later that afternoon she apologized for saying I didn't love her.
We had tea tonight after she got back from dinner.
We're having cake and presents tomorrow with kids.
Life moves on. I guess she's feeling what it's like to lose me.
It's always a lovely suprise to log on and see you here Theo.
My H has gone to Ireland to work today, (left at 4.30am our time) and it is like having two less children to run round after in the morning!!! NO T and toast to have to do!!!
Have you had your 40th Theo? Did your W do anything special for that?
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I think you did the right thing. She doesn't understand that her actions have consequences. She needs to figure that out. Then she can learn to do things to get the reactions she wants. I'm shocked that she thinks she can act horribly to you and you will respond with unrelenting love. She needs a dose of reality. Her birthday is an excellent time to find that out.
