H has been very depressed for the past few days.. Not really sure what he's thinking.. Maybe about D?.. Maybe feeling bad about my emotional breakdown?.. Maybe self-loathing?..
So, do I give him space or try to find out what he's thinking? He's obviously not been very chatty lately. Anyway.. not sure how I should act around him.
Be as normal and pleasant as you can be. Just give him his space. It sounds like he has some things he needs to work through right now. I'm sure he is feeling guilty about all the pain he has caused.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
hey lonelyolive, you mentioned that your H is a leader in the church? I read a book recently called "And The Shofar Blew" by Francine Rivers. It's not a self-help book, but a novel by a Christian writer. The man in it is a preacher who has an affair. It was such a good book, and I though you might be interested. It doesn't pull any punches with this subject.
And as for whether or not you are crazy, yeah we all are to some extent right now. This crap wih these ow has turned our lives upside down and we may be a little crazy, but we sure are strong crazy women to be able to deal with it the way we have. And that's why, even though I never intended for my user name to be verycrazy, it fits just the same. I didn't pay attention when I registered and I was stuck with it.
And if they are feeling disgusted with themselves or with ow, it's because they know they are wrong, and that ow are really not good people to be after them, even if they try to lie to themselves.
And perhaps he is feeling very guilty for doing this to you, to be the cause of yur misery, maybe that's partly why the depression of the past few days.
I told H how tired I am of his secret life (which he has been trying to minimize for MONTHS). And, finally the truth. H finally told me that he doesn't know what to do. Stay or go to ow??
He sees my changes and appreciates them. He may want to work things out but has carried on w/ow for so long that he doesn't know if he can end it with her. Plus, he questions whether I can ever get over the pain he has caused me.
I'm sorry...not exactly what you want to here from your H after everything he did to you and still stood by his side.
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He sees my changes and appreciates them. He may want to work things out but has carried on w/ow for so long that he doesn't know if he can end it with her. Plus, he questions whether I can ever get over the pain he has caused me.
He's still very confused. He's still living in the fog. He has to get away from OW or there's no hope. This is exactly what my XH told me at the end of May. It's your choice Olive. You are the only one that knows what you need and want to do.
I think Theo gave you the options a while back...you should go back and find his post. 1. Go on living like this and let your H have a mistress and a wife 2. Tell him its over and you are filing for divorce...this could potentially wake him up or you could end up divorced 3. Go dark and stop making it convenient for his affair. It's been a year...that's a lot longer than most people would tolerate this. You need to find your strength and get your life back. Look at Yoyo's sitch. Do you remember how dim it seemed? Her H is coming around. She wasn't there for him and he has started to realize what he's losing. I'm going to tell you again....for your own sanity, you have to do something different....this is not working.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
hi everyone, I was so sad today, i found out that my H gave the ow a diamond ring sometime in the past 11 mos. He moved back home a week ago after I gave him an ulitmatum. but he doesnt want to call me when he finishes work or go to a different gym after work where I think he use to meet with her. I have panic attacks wondering where he is after work from 5 to 630 pm. i feel so bad for my 13 yr old son, he has to go to a new catholic high school next year and im afraid all of this stress is to much for him. im afraid he'll get into alcohol or drugs to get rid of his pain.
