I think you need to watch your mouth and stop with the little comments. I know it's hard as you are hurting, but they will be the little things that he takes away with him.
It seems like he wants to come back but is worried things will not be OK. You have to take the high road and SHOW him that you are different - that together you can be different. Stop pushing the buttons that make him worry about how it will be.
Piecing is really hard and you will have times when you will get mad at how much hurt he has caused. If you want it to work you have to button that. Start practising being more in control while he is gradually moving back. you can always go and scream when he's gone!!!! It will get you into practice for when he is back full time.
This is so hard.
(((((HUGS))))))) Chicki Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Yes, Saffie I need to keep my sarcasm in check. It's my defensive mode I guess.
OK. I sent him an email this morning I want to know what you guys think. I tend to think & expressive myself better in writing. Also, it helps because I can word things in such a way that my supersensitive man does not take it the wrong way(I think).
I want to say that you are correct when the old me use to try to make you feel bad for going away on fun business trips. I am sorry. The resentment in me was coming thruough in that way. Resentment? Yes, b/c I too felt unappreciated. I especially felt this way b/c I wasnt getting the help I needed w/ the girls, unless I asked you, like w/ their homework. I hated to ask b/c you would get angry & prolly wanted to relax, but when I did it it was b/c I was too bogged down cooking AND trying to do homework at the same time in order to get them to bed at a proper time.
So as I realize my faults in the breakdown of this M, I want you to see where you too can make changes. I do need your help w/ the girls homework. Sometimes D10 & I are up past 9pm trying to finish. Also, you too could cook like on the weekends & that would be a great help so I can do my other weekend chores.
Also, can we stop w/ the name calling? You called me lazy?
<<I am anything but lazy, but my MACHO man has a promblem w/ me taking a break in btw chores to sit & relax, I've got arthritis of the back>> Yes, just like you I too am exhausted by the weekend and sometimes want to sit & relax, please dont make me feel bad for that. You know about my back, having Mandy was no easy task & it did one hell of a job on my body. <<my last child was 10 lbs & I am under 5ft tall & I have arthritis of the back.>> I will no longer overextend myself anymore. I need my health for my girls. We have three girls and only one of me.
Much as it probably hurt to do, I think you did the right thing in not giving in to his sexual advances. Seems that his desire is at least partly driven by insecurity and jealousy (the mythical/mysterious Jerrod).
Keep the door open, Chicki. Sounds like he wants to walk through it, but is scared. And, as MMH's tagline says, 'bridle your tongue.' SHOW HIM you are different.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Chicki, I don't know if I would start sending him emails just yet asking him to start doing work around the house. I would wait until he has moved back in and things are more comfortable between the two of you. If you send that now it just may pressure him into staying away longer.
Once he is actually staying there then you can start talking about helping with the things around the house but do it in a loving way. Hey Babe, I have got to help D with homework right now can you take over the cooking. I can't wait to taste it. or you are so good at all that homework stuff, can you help D. It is all about stroking the man's ego.
Dang girl, I shouldn't have read your bed description of when your H was trying to get it on with you. It has been 4 long months for me now and the new man that I have been seeing is just being way too proper. We went out Friday night and I ended up doing too many southern blues shots so he had to drive me home. I was in my sheer nighty with red lace thong and he still behaved himself. Now I have the kids for another week and a half.
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
Heim/CVA - you guys crack me up!! You could be MIA...MIA.. and then all the sudden someone types one word and it is like your spidey-sense goes off or something...
....but of course 