Hey jarhead I would advise against the silent treatment it will probally not have the effect you want. Instead of the silent treatment go out and do something. My W has done the texting thing with OM, that OM is now out of the picture, although I am sure he will be replaced. I was tempted to call her out with the phone bill, but I am glad I didn't it will no move her any closer to you.
Its difficult to control the anger and frustration, but if you are able to it will only help in the long run.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07
Yeah... I was good this morning.. I was cheerful and said hello.
MAN SHE LOOKED HOT TODAY!!!
She's going back to L today to finalize stuff and I should be able to pick up the papers tomorrow.
She seemed a little distant this morning, so who knows.. probably from the attention she gave.
I did notice that she didn't take the note off of the door. Maybe she didn't notice it? I took it down and threw it away.
I know the phone bill thing is wrong, but I want her to know what I know. I'd much rather her quit telling me lies and sneaking around. I understand why, she just needs to be a little more considerate about it.. ie at least wait until I'm out of the room!!!
So I went to the mall to fix W's hearing aid. She wears 2 and doesn't take very good care of them, which sucks cause they cost 5K!! Normally, the guy does a few things and it's right as rain. Well, this time it needs to be sent out.
I texted my wife this info and she calls me back.
She's freaking out.. she's taking our oldest D to kindergarten and the phone volume isn't loud enough and she's upset about her hearing aid etc etc. I apologize and calmly suggest getting into see the Hearing Aid folks more often.. yada yada yada.
We go back and forth (not fighting) and then she says "I'm sorry... I'm just not in a good mood today" to which I asked what was wrong and she responded "Nothing... I shouldn't even be talking to you!!" I asked her what that was about and she said "Since we aren't going to be together anymore" I asked what she meant by that and she said "The Divorce". Our D was then heading into school, so the conversation was derailed for a second. When she got back on, I told her that I was still her friend and she can talk to me about things.
She hesitated and said OK. I asked if there was anything she wanted to talk about and she reluctantly said no. She said she had to go.
I know what you mean. When I see my wife after her work, I am like d*mn she is smoking! I have started to let her know what I am thinking now, instead of just thinking it. She loves the compliments.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Just spoke to W on her way to L. She sounds distant...asks me to tell the girls she loves them and misses them. She has school tonight so she won't see them till tomorrow. She then proceeds to tell me about some history presentation that she has next week. Her "partner" texted her earlier today and wants to work on it after class.
AM I REALLY THAT F'N STUPID????
I'm half tempted to call one of my buddies over to watch the girls after they are in bed and go trap this damn thing once and for all.
I sounded unhappy on the phone, and she asked what was wrong and I of course said "nothing".
I asked her what was wrong and she said she was depressed (normal for her) and that nevermind.
Just spoke to W on her way to L. She sounds distant...asks me to tell the girls she loves them and misses them. She has school tonight so she won't see them till tomorrow. She then proceeds to tell me about some history presentation that she has next week. Her "partner" texted her earlier today and wants to work on it after class.
AM I REALLY THAT F'N STUPID????
I'm half tempted to call one of my buddies over to watch the girls after they are in bed and go trap this damn thing once and for all.
I sounded unhappy on the phone, and she asked what was wrong and I of course said "nothing".
I asked her what was wrong and she said she was depressed (normal for her) and that nevermind.
You need to find your happy place!
One thing that has always pissed my wife off is when I'm hurt, I get pouty and then I refuse to tell her what's wrong. Don't do that! Either get your head around it and choose to not get upset by it, or just fake it and don't let on you're upset. Being upset and unhappy is only going to drive her away, remember you want to be the happy fun guy she'll want to be with.
That's what I'm not so sure about... if you read my posts from last night, by telling her I was unhappy with the situation, I got a kiss on the cheek and a hug.
I guess I'm paying for that today, but maybe it's guilt on her part.
She just called and said she was done with L. She's going to the chiropractor, coming home to pick out some clothes for the girls then heading to school.
Just b/c you got a kiss on the cheek & a hug does not mean that she is reconsidering - it most likely means that she FEELS guilty. I think for most of our WAS, it is not that they don't have feelings for us and feel badly that they are hurting us - but that they don't THINK they should be with us any more because of x,y,z past history etc. The only thing you can do is change those things & you have to be in a good frame of mind in order to do so. Rather than asking your buddy to watch the girls to go check up on her - why not ask your buddy to watch the girls so you can go out and have a good time yourself?
