That's a thought... I'm also thinking what it would be like to change towels/clothes. NASTY. Would you wash them? I couldn't see running that through the washer!!
The Vet did have some medicine and food we could try. It's been a frustrating ordeal with her, but hopefully this will work. Obviously the carpets upstairs need to be removed. We already did that in the basement (grrrrr), so it just takes time and money... something we all have tons of right!!
I guess I wasn't thinking about the washing part. Well either way, I am sure you can find something to make the situation work - and I think it will make you look good in your W's eyes...
OK folks... I'm in a lot of pain today.. I'll break this into multiple posts to keep it readable. I could really use some support.
The MIL. Well the MIL is an interesting creature. She is very much in charge of my W and basically does everything for her. Well.. this whole deal was foreign to the MIL as W was keeping her at distance. Until recently that is. Yesterday I get home from work.. W calls me and is all excited. She is at the Dodge Dealer and there is a great deal on a vehicle. I was stunned.. I asked who was up there, and she said it was her parents. We have an 03 Truck that's paid off and I agreed to give her. I was going to sell it and get her an SUV and split the profits. Well, MIL and FIL decided to go find her a vehicle and basically had a deal worked out. W had to basically borrow 1300 from FIL to pay for vehicle. They asked me if this was OK!! LIKE I WOULD SAY NO AND RUIN EVERYTHING!!! I felt as though the MIL just ripped my balls off right then and there. The whole time I was talking to FIL, MIL is whispering to W and bad mouthing me. I went to pick the girls up in the truck and noticed that W had been to her bank and got a new account (get me off of hers).. I know that's a MIL move. I also found out that MIL is loaning W the money for the L. This woman is very evil and is now back in full control of W. My W is so spoiled, that MIL will make sure this goes as smoothly as possible for her.
So W got a new SUV yesterday. It wasn't what she really wanted, but I tried to be as supportive as possible. I congratulated her etc. I didn't expect her to run back into my arms or anything, but she was very cold about it. No thank you, not a smile or anything. I'm hoping she was consciously being cold to not let the new car give false signals. Anyway, it was an OK evening. We talked.. about her work mostly. She brought some L stuff up. She did mention Divorce, and I asked if it was Divorce or Separation. She said that Separation was the same thing, so Divorce. We can always delay it or put it off. I was so hurt.. I heard the delay part, but I believe that was only to calm my nerves.
Later, we were talking and she mentioned OM called her about his divorce. She rambled on about some stuff and I couldn't help it... I said "Yeah... Tiffany has been pinging me... but I haven't talked to her".. I know this shocked her... she said "You got you a little girlfriend huh" jokingly... I said "Yeah... whatever" and she spun and stared at me. I said "No, she's just someone to talk to, just like yours" To which she flipped me off.
Oh yeah... I forgot to mention that she is probably filing for the D today.
She also asked me to get her hearing aid fixed for her today.
This morning, I took the girls in and acted like I didn't have a care in the world. Said good morning etc. Told her that I was going to get new car seats for the girls for my vehicle so we wouldn't have to trade vehicles all the time (I think this hit her a little) and she asked if she could have them since they were newer. I said No.. I'm buying them for my car. Probably not the best way to answer, but that's what I did. She then asked what was wrong with me. I said "Nothing... I'm fine" in a cheery voice. "Why?" I asked... "You just seem different, that's all" Then I went to take our other daughter to her room and gave her a busy "Bye!!" and she looked stunned. As I left, I passed her room and gave her a busy wave... she still looked stunned and gave me a depressed looking wave.
I hope I'm not making things worse, but I have to get myself feeling better!!
Talked to MIL earlier today. I had to get an account number for a bill, and she had the nuggets to ask me if W was still going through with this. I responded "Well... you are paying for her L". Whammo.. off guard. "Well.... she asked for a loan.." Then she proceeded to tell me that they weren't trying to overstep bounds etc with the vehicle, blah blah blah. I also mentioned that she had gotten a new bank account and that it had hurt my feelings. She asked how I knew and I said I saw the stuff sitting on the passenger seat. She said "Well maybe someone is talking to her"... DUH!! She did tell me that W told her I was "Hot" the other day. At least I know some things are paying off!! :))
Anyway, W calls and says she's just checking in to see how I am. I said "I'm fine" like nothing was going on.. I asked how she was and she hesitated.. then she said she was OK. I didn't push. She then said.. "If we don't sign the papers we're OK right?" I said "Sure.. we can hold of as long as it takes." She then said she was confused. I told her I knew and I understood. Then like the prarie dog, she hopped back in her hole.. "I just need some space.. I need to think." I understand..
Someone should mention that in the book "You will say you understand everytime you speak with SO"!!
Thats right Jar. Thats the name of the game. Validate, repeat and add "I understand". Even if you are irritated, angry and resentful. Let her see this new you while you are working on being a wonderful H.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
So interesting evening... W only filed for separation!! (yay!!)
I get home in enough time to hang out with W and girls for a little bit and then I have my first shrink appt. I'm sitting on the couch with youngest D and W is helping oldest D with homework in the kitchen. Everythings light and OK.
As I'm walking between the kitchen and family room, I catch W texting under the table!!! I ask her what she was doing and she fumbled about the phone being in her pocket etc. I said "Whatever" and walked away. Shaking my head the whole time. She asked "What's wrong".. "Nothing" lather rinse repeat a few times. Now every time I walk by her, the phone keeps getting scooted under something. GRRRRRRR. What balls... stupid OM!!
Anyway, had a panick attack on the way to the shrink as I thought she was probably inviting OM over.
Got home from shrink and we went downstairs to workout. She mentions that she may go for a drive after her workout?? Whatever. She then proclaims she needs to shower after working out instead of doing it in the morning.
Since I've known this woman, she has NEVER taken a shower in the evening. I can tell you she's done it at least twice this week. She said that one of her female friends (who I despise because she keeps inviting OM)asked her to come over. Again... "Whatever" "What's wrong".. lather rinse repeat.
She came back down smelling nice after her shower and said... "Please don't be mad at me" "For what" "I am going for a drive" I was livid.. I said "We'll I'm not happy about it, but you do whatever you need to do" "What's wrong" "If you don't know then it doesn't matter"
She then asked me to get off the treadmill for a minute.. she had to ask 3 times cause I didn't understand what she wanted. She then kissed me on the cheek!!??
What is she doing to me?
I think being the angry guy from time to time works as well. I'll monitor.. If she comes home past 12 tonight, she'll get the silent treatment tomorrow.
Question... I can show on her cell bill where she has been texting this OM like crazy... the bill won't be available till the 29th, which is 3 days after she moves. I was thinking of highlighting all the entries from him and asking "This is just friends?"
I know it's wrong and off, but I'd like to hear your thoughts!!
Man, I don't know. I have no advice to give you. But, I can totally understand your frustration. She is all over the place with playing with your emotions. You have some good control. I would be flipping out.
The one thing I will advice you to do though (if she does come back after 12), is to act as if. Don't even let it bother you. Be the bigger person. The silent treatment will not prove anything to anyone. It may make you fell like you have control, but quite the opposite. It will just prove to her that you are an ass (since she thinks you are blind to her and OM, because she is to sneeky for you). And it will also drive her farther into the arms of OM.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
