Congrats on the positive interactions. I do see a red flag ...
Quote:
I am trying to employ the "positive affirmation" love language that H likely speaks in blazing glory. It was kinda obnoxious,
Trying hard to please someone, if they don't respond the way we think they should, can lead to resentment. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to please someone if you feel like doing so. Just guard against entitlement. And don't be shy about letting the other person know if their grumpiness despite your cheeriness bothers you.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Since Chrome asked me if I was angry over on my thread... when I read this post I made to you, I can see why he asked the question. {head shake at myself}. I apologize if that is how you are hearing it... cuz I can see it. I wasn't being angry or snotty, but I can see it...
hmmpf.... I'm going to have to work on this... maybe disregard and let me try again if that is what you are hearing as well?
Well, you didn't ask me but I'll add to the list of people that interpreted your post as angry/snotty as well. The strange part is that you really seem to not SEE that in yourself. I write snotty/angry posts myself sometimes but I think I am fairly aware of when I am doing it. Why you gave loon such a response seems strange to me. She did address your post but just not the way you wanted her to I guess. But maybe I am wrong.
I think Loon is a highly intelligent woman... I could be wrong. I was trying to prod her... see if she could give it a little more thought... and I should say THAT instead of trying to prod her in some sort of clever way...
I did have purpose for doing what I was doing... but my purpose in no way included pissy or snotty. It just came out that way.
Cleverness does get people to pay attention to something and help them remember it. (Unless it falls flat, then it just helps them remember something in a bad way)
And on some level, all of us are out to prove that we're worth listening to.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Well, there is a difference between "clever and cute" and "clever and rude". When I mentioned BF, I think of him as being clever and cute. He means well but gets so wrapped up in being clever that it's hard to figure out his point half the time. With Corri (not trying to pick on you Corri but this is my interpretation) she can come off rude in her posts. I think that will obviously turn new people off to her. Just something to be aware. And of course we all want to be listened to and understood, but there are better ways of going about it than being clever.
Well, there is a difference between "clever and cute" and "clever and rude".
Hey! That's one of my new zoo rules for the monkey. The monkey isn't allowed to cross over the line from cute and funny to rude or obnoxious or annoying unless she is relating to another monkey. However, I don't really see Corri as being monkey in her post, I see her more as being low-level lioness, a little aggressive or defensive rather than clever, same with BF. That is why I tried to give them a "subtle" reminder that LQ probably had an injured bunny hidden somewhere if she chose to join this BB and ask for our help.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Why do you have to be so clever? What do you have to prove? I think of BF when I write that as well.
I don't have anything to 'prove.' I'm not really worried about coming off as rude, and I'm not worried about offending anyone... unless I was trying to purposely offend someone or purposely be rude to someone... and then I am worried about me.
Chrome said he thought I sounded angry and he was attempting to clarify, for his own reasons I suppose. He didn't point out this particular post... I just went looking myself, to see if I could see what he was picking up on... and I found it... you confirmed it. I could see it.
I told Loon I would not get pissy with her again... and her being fairly new to these boards... if other people were viewing me as being pissy, and me being able to clearly see it myself... I thought she may see it that way, too. I thought it prudent to clarify myself.
If other people see me as rude or pissy or having something to prove... well... I can't help that. And... they don't have to talk to me. If someone says to me... "hey... I'm seeing this... what's up with that... is it me... is it you...???" Now I've got something I can DO... I can either clarify, or I can own my crap and apologize, and try again.
But I can't be both sides of the R.
Mo... I'm on the verge of seeing myself as a bun-key-ness with an identity crisis... j/k
but I think I am fairly aware of when I am doing it.