Same here Jill, If this can happen to my H and me it really can happen to anyone. Like you I NEVER ever thought it would happen to me/us, that he fell out of love with me blows my mind not because I consider myself some prize but what we had was so strong for so long.
You talk like you've already read "love busters" with your referrals to your H being emotionally empty and not full. That is precisely what that book is about and how to keep them full. I found my copy at a used book store. Good Luck, Lisa
Good for YOU TWO!! I hope I can repeat a ditto about 8 months from now. Have been DBing for 4 months now and things go well for the most part. I know how you feel with no ILY's. It's hard for me not to say them like the book says. My H still doesn't seem re-committed to our marriage but we are still taking baby steps and I'll be happy with that. Any more words of advice? What worked best for you??
You are such an inspiration to me. H has moved out. We had some tough days a few weeks ago. Really ugly but things seem to be coming back. I am trying my best to be yhis friend again. He took off his ring but when I asked for it back he said he isn't ready to give it to me. I asked if I should take mine off he said no. He is coming by tomorrow to finish our taxes. From your point of view should I be lovingly detached? Or should I have fun and flirt? I don't think I can do both?
Lisa, I haven't been posted on your threads much lately, since I don't feel like have anything to offer to you. But I wanted to tell you that you have still offer so much support to me. I am over on the separated forum now. A bunch of us from Newcomers moved. I hope you'll stop by sometime and give me your input.
I'm keeping my eye on you!!
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
Lisa, Little by little, that part really does seem to be happening, as long as I let it be. Although I didn't see H today he called a couple times. His behavior is still odd, sometimes quite nice, as he always is to everybody - lacking in being genuine maybe but it's better than the blaming - and then other times he loses his temper - hangs up the phone, not on me anymore but on younger son, a 10 year old. It's like H is really the child. But as I let go, i.e. I don't take things personally, I'm conscious of what I say, I mean what I say, I think about what I want to say, I'm a little aloof, no extra information, H seems interested or at least curious. He tells me what's up w him, like where he's going, what's happening at work, as long as I don't ask any questions. I'm finally relaxed again. We talk about money and shared issues, kids, he metioned having dinner together. We'll see. Once again thanks. I just want H to apologize and let's move forward. You know. SS
Dotto, that's good about the rings! Are you sure you can't detach AND flirt at the same time? Pretend he's just an acquaintance and not your H? I'd be curious to find out how it goes. I wasn't good at detaching myself, that was hard for me. I hoep you are more successful at it. Lisa
I think I found a perfect mix of the two. H came by this morning to drop off paid bills? Is this an excuse? It seems that when I pull away he heads back. I was really cheerful and a little flirty. Did it work? Who knows. Gave me a little kiss goodbye.
Hi Lisa - thanks for posting - I've posted on your thread before, used to be "toughenough4love" - had to change screen names when computer mixup erased all my posts! Was wondering how you were - sorry to hear about the emails. How long has it been going on? Seems like something you need to get out in the open, unless things with H are so tenuous you think it might run him off. Hard call. If it were just a process of letting go of the OW I would say let him go through it, but this sounds more like things starting up again. Ellie
