Sara, Thanks for the b'day wishes. It was a bit humbling, but still fun, to try something new and at which I am an absolute novice. It is always good to be humbled every now and again! Can't wait to be able to find a regular dance partner!
CVA, Thanks for the support, hope your PMA is coming back. If not, you live in a city with a million things to do, just pick one!
Slowly, Also thanks for the b'day wishes and also for helping with some perspective. I will have to digest your post a bit more, but my first response is that there surely are several things I can do at this juncture (including sticking with the Do Nothing/minor experimentation), I just am having a hard time seeing any progress beyond neutral at this point and am getting VERY frustrated with the lack of ability to take action in my own life!
I am actually POed right now over an ASSumption I am making. W has a new gold, artsy ring she is wearing next to her wedding ring (yes she still wears it). My ASSumption is that it is from OM, but I have not asked. It could also be one she has had for a while but has not been wearing for a while. I thought about saying something when I saw it, but did not and now I am getting huge negative PMA thinking about it. I really think if she told me it was from OM, I would just say " I want a D!" For now, I think I will see how long she wears it and then say something only if she keeps it on for a while.
I just keep thinking, why am I still here? Or really, why is she still here!? For some perspective on the bizarreness of the sitch, she is in the kitchen cooking dinner for the 4 of us right now??!!
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
If you are a novice at dancing, I was unaware. I thought you did very well. Must be that musical background. We just need more practice on some of those moves, and then we can compete with GD.
When I got home from the meetup my H was feeling a little jealousy twinge, bringing out his attentive side. I was wondering if the mystery event that you went to, and stayed out late at, brought that out in your W at all. Did she worry about you going dancing with unknown women?
I think you should ask about the new ring. Maybe she bought it for herself and you are just fantasizing that its from OM. On the other hand, as they say in that really deep film, Sweet Home Alabama, "You can't ride two horses with one backside." Maybe you needs a reminder.
When I got home from the meetup my H was feeling a little jealousy twinge, bringing out his attentive side. I was wondering if the mystery event that you went to, and stayed out late at, brought that out in your W at all. Did she worry about you going dancing with unknown women?
I told her that I was meeting a friend who was in town for the weekend and said "He" when I told her I was going out (Not a lie since Nomo is my friend and from out of town). She did not ask who it was nor did I offer an explanation.
Actually, she is hoping I will move on and want to date so as to remove her guilt. She is obviously assuming that I will not file separation/divorce paperwork, knowing how much I love our kids. Ooops, fatal mistake!
Quote:
I think you should ask about the new ring. Maybe she bought it for herself and you are just fantasizing that its from OM. On the other hand, as they say in that really deep film, Sweet Home Alabama, "You can't ride two horses with one backside." Maybe you needs a reminder.
I am not quite prepared to respond to "I got it from OM" at this point. If this is the answer, I think I will simply reply with "I am filing for D." and walk off.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Hi IK, Couldn't you tell, I ALREADY am! (Oh yeah, that was in my dreams, not for real!) LOL
For real, those were my original goals and their progress since March.
Not what I was hoping for, esp. in that W is still in a fog over OM/depression?. I am really struggling with what my goals really are with respect to my marriage. More and more, it is appearing to me that the things that will make me happy in the long run are in conflict with staying married to W. The one exception is that I currently get to see my kids every day. After a D, this will likely not be the case.
Will post again later after I have thought/read a bit.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Hey, SD, just say the word & I'll ring you up a few times & act reluctant to leave a message! I've been told I (can) have a nice phone voice, lol.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
SD, I hope your W changes her mind. Just taking the time to write down all of these goals amazes me. Most men don't take the time to think of these things let alone write it down and then evaluate and refocus later on.
SD, I hope your W changes her mind. Just taking the time to write down all of these goals amazes me. Most men don't take the time to think of these things let alone write it down and then evaluate and refocus later on.
Wow, just wow.
Bella, Thanks, but I think you may be judging us (men) by our personas instead of by our true Selves. If you look at many of the men on this site, they are even more introspective than I am. It is just that in public we stick to our personas and never let this side of us be seen.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
