Hmmmmmm. I consider this board to have been an unmixed blessing in my marriage and my life (big thanks to everyone) ... it got me reading Schnarch (Passionate Marriage, which I just finished), introduced me to the "Nice Guy" concept etc, etc. I have never felt more confident, more at peace with being imperfect, happier with where my marriage is going, or more empowered to craft my life into my vision of it.
Until the last several days. Nothing has changed externally as far as I can tell. My husband S. is being very supportive of and open to the readjustments I'm starting to make. (He's even taken to playfully rebuking me when I say "sorry" when I shouldn't; so far, it's cute.) I just feel like the wheels fell off internally. I'm staving off most of the bitchiness, but the tears and (atypically) AWOL sex drive have got me down.
Has anyone else experienced anything vaguely like this kind of emotional boomerang in the wake of making profound emotional discoveries and/or changes? Is my fearful soul trying to hang on to the status quo? Did the rubberband in my brain just stretch as far as it could right now and is now snapping back?
Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
Bones ... throw 'em if you got 'em.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
There is a certain rush in "understanding" something unfortunately to fully integrate those things into your life in a meaningful and lasting way takes more than just reading about it, it takes trying to apply those things.
When you try to apply these new things in your old life you can get stuck is places where you don't want to be stuck. Unlike a book you can't just keep reading and you have to work your way through these sticky points.
Both the books you mention are about pretty large amounts of personal development. IMHO this kind of growth isn't going to be instant, smooth or even easy.
I also believe that you can't ignore the powers that lay just beneath the surface, our subconscious and shadow sides as well. Not that you should dwell or become obsessed with these aspects. Being aware and at least trying to investigate them helps in development and understanding of oneself.
Hmmmmmm. Interesting choice of words, "rush". Maybe what I am experiencing is like the letdown that follows the adrenaline rush I get when I complete a song. You finish, you're on top of the world for a few hours or days, then the doubt crash sets in. If that's what's going on, that makes me more hopeful ... the doubt crash always evens out too.
Trust me, I know it's a lot more than reading, even a lot more than *seeing* ... it's been the *seeing* patterns of thought clearly that's been so intoxicating. I know it's going to take years to unknot the tangle of habitual responses formed from those obsolete patterns of thought.
I just started to feel like I was hitting an invisible wall .... *already!* ... and can't quite understand why ... not that I expect anyone to have the answers to that.
Guess the mind really doesn't want to let go of what it knows, however counterproductive .... not without a struggle anyhow.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
