The Plank is out of my eyes, but too late for WAW?

[Not Much Left]

H
Can you tell it is 2-3 of us on the boards right now! I am waiting on a deal to happen, what is your excuse!!!

[Heimlich]

plain 'ol procrastination.BD

[Heimlich]

Our anniversary is Monday. Do I call?

I sent a very short note, cribbed from someone else on the board, that'll get there Tuesday (I was thinking Tuesday was the 30th). "Come what may; thank you for the something, laughter, and memories. And, thank you for loving me. With love, BD"

Put it on a blank card (cartoon image of a hedgehog holding a flowing on the outside). Nothing overtly romantic there.

BD

[Atlas]

heimlich,

i think i would acknowledge it, but follow her lead on it. have a back up just in case she shows or wants to do something. but don't go overboard in case nothing happens.

[Matt-14]

BD and DB,

Da*n! You really were having a bady day or night the other day. I was just reading your post.

You must remember you can't believe half of what they say or do or is that 90%. She will come around!

Don't forget the positives before she left kiss, hug, ILY.

there must be something about that 12-14 year anniversary period!

Will she be back in MD for your anniversary?

There must be something about that 12-14 year anniversary period. Or maybe it's just that age period.

I'll buy you a beer for your anniversary. I know you said you love Pabst Blue Ribbon or was that the beast (Milwaukee's Best) , whichever one it was, it's on me!

Now that's something to look forward to.

Matt

[Heimlich]

Thanks, guys. No, she'll still be in Louisiana on Monday. Coming back with the girls Wed night. I'm hoping she'll come around, but I'm really starting to come to grips with things not working out. Groping my way to some sort of zen/buddhist thing or something.

Atlas, buying a present just doesn't feel right to me this year, so I'm not going to. I think she'd view it as pushing anyway. Though I have been thinking of getting her a massage. She enjoyed that for her bday last year (a pro, not me, though I'm not half bad).

Matt, you're killing me. I was a Natural Light man in college. 7 bucks or so a case and you couldn't tell how bad it tasted if it was really really cold. Since then, I've got to admit, I'm a beer snob. Especially since I don't drink that often any longer, if I'm drinking a beer, it's gonna be a good one.

BD

[Matt-14]

I think she might consider it pushing. I don't know, did you discuss your anniversary before she left?


For the record, I used to drink those snobby beers but not anymore. I got used to the cheap one's. The champaigne of beers....The High Life!

Matt

[Heimlich]

Just a quick journal entry.

W and girls have been in Louisiana since last Sat, returning Wed night, so all has been quiet on the R front. Have only spoken to W briefly 4 or 5 times during that time.

I've spent most of that time trying, semi-successfully, to catch up on a variety of work items as well as a large freelance edit job I picked up.

A little bummed today. It's our 12th wedding anniversary. 12 years ago, we were leaving our reception to go to the Lafitte Guest House on Bourbon Street for a few nights before our honeymoon in Belize. I'm just remembering how happy and in love we were and, well, I just don't have the words to describe how it feels now. Disillusioned. Melancholy. Disappointed, both with her and me.

Man, how the hell did we get here? How do you let yourself forget to treat the most important person in your life like the most important person in your life?

Starting to get a little tense for Wed. Things were easy between us when she left, not sure how they're going to be when she returns. At any rate, looking forward to seeing my girls. They occassionally bug the hell out of me (and I really do feel like I missed out on a lot of very cool boy toys. Barbies and My Little Pony. Pure evil.), but I do enjoy their company.

All in all, I'm feeling OK with where I am and who I am (and who I'm moving toward being). I've rediscovered the confidence that I lost. Didn't have a good week of exercise, but haven't gained any weight. Starting to remember I am pretty damn good at my job. I'm reasonably intelligent. Kind. Try to be understanding. A bit shy. Semi-funny. Able to hold up my end of a conversation and keep it interesting. Just miss her a lot. In the past, I've always looked forward to seeing her again, even if we had just been apart for a day. I still do, but, as you all know, it's not quite the same, is it?

Did any of those positive things the week before she left mean anything? Are we still on the fast track to D. Am I going to have to start eating lots of peanut butter sandwiches again and move into an apartment? I know I'm going to do everything I can to show her she's making a huge mistake if things go that way. On the flip side, I know that I'm making my way toward being able to have a really strong R in the future, with my W or someon else. In a weird way, what she did was a good thing (though I could have done without the jumpstart of an actual A). It did get me out of my rut. Would probably still be drifting otherwise.

Anyway, need to put in some edits and get some sleep. Reading "Blue Ocean Strategy" for an internal marketing iniative at work. That oughta do it.

BD

PS. Miller is neither "beer" nor "champaigne". I don't know if I can even talk to you any more. Damn.

[Matt-14]

BD,

Why spend more on something I don't like to drink?!

Well if it means anything coming from me......Happy Anniversary!
Next years will be better.

Yes, I think the positives did mean something. She may be confused or unsure but at least there are positives. I don't think she would have done or said those things if she didn't want to. That means a lot!

I know you are nervous about tomorrow but everthing will be okay. I get a little nervous every evening that I go home. Just be your (distantly) lovable, DB'ing self. Don't want to pressure her.

I agree that it is a good thing that this happened. I feel the same way. I think God's ultimate plan is to make our R better and stronger and we definitly needed this. I needed this to better myself and to see things more clearly.

You may not be spending your anniversary with your W but you will be meeting me for the first time today. Oh God that's depressing! Never mind

Matt

[stewart10]

Heimlich:

First off, Happy Anniversary. Next year's will be better. (Mine is coming up August 20th so I will be where you are soon)

A little bummed today. It's our 12th wedding anniversary. 12 years ago, we were leaving our reception to go to the Lafitte Guest House on Bourbon Street for a few nights before our honeymoon in Belize. I'm just remembering how happy and in love we were and, well, I just don't have the words to describe how it feels now. Disillusioned. Melancholy. Disappointed, both with her and me.

I know what you mean. We were married 2 years ago. Kind of shows you how quickly things can/will change. I am reminded of something in the books that Michelle says. If the feelings were there to begin with and since the wedding have changed, that means they can change back. Just keep doing what you are doing.

Man, how the hell did we get here? How do you let yourself forget to treat the most important person in your life like the most important person in your life?

I don't know what to say. Just that it happens and we are left with trying to pick up the pieces that our actions have created. But we are on the right track.

Starting to get a little tense for Wed. Things were easy between us when she left, not sure how they're going to be when she returns. At any rate, looking forward to seeing my girls. They occassionally bug the hell out of me (and I really do feel like I missed out on a lot of very cool boy toys. Barbies and My Little Pony. Pure evil.), but I do enjoy their company.

Things will work out fine when they get back as long as you keep a PMA and Act as If. And it will be good for you to see your D's. I can imagine how much you must have missed them.

Just miss her a lot. In the past, I've always looked forward to seeing her again, even if we had just been apart for a day. I still do, but, as you all know, it's not quite the same, is it?

I know exactly what you are saying. I still look forward to seeing her even when it has only been a couple of hours. Yes, things are different, because she has made it clear that she no longer misses me when we are apart. That she doesn't have that same aniticipation that she used to have when we were apart for awhile and about to see eachother. That does not mean that you feeling excited is wrong. Use the excitement to improve your PMA. Get excited to see her, but try not to get overexcited. Does that make sense?

Did any of those positive things the week before she left mean anything? Are we still on the fast track to D.

I am sure the positives meant something. Just remember that often the positives are followed by a brief pullback. Whether or not you are on the fast track, you can't really control. Just try and not do anything to advance the D. And use the time that is created to keep up the GAL, 180's and PMA. It seems like there are some positives in your situation. Concentrate on that. Baby steps.