Yeah, it's a weak excuse for her to want to sleep at the house.
She is feeling the pressure and second guessing herself. I, however, am not going to argue with her, but allow her the space she needs. Once her cable is on, she will run out of excuses to stay over. I can tell she regrets having that trailer now.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Yeah, it's a weak excuse for her to want to sleep at the house.
She is feeling the pressure and second guessing herself. I, however, am not going to argue with her, but allow her the space she needs. Once her cable is on, she will run out of excuses to stay over. I can tell she regrets having that trailer now.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
If you feel comfortable with it then fine it is you choice. You are the only one that knows your own boundries. However still seems to me like she is just using you to get by for the time being. Once she feels comfortable on her own then she will bolt.
Of course that is just my 2 cents.
Just becareful not to open yourself up to much.
What happens when you have the locks changed and she still does not have cable are you going to give her a key? Remeber, you give them an inch and they want a mile.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
No, she will not get a key. She decided to run. I am just letting her do what she thinks is right, even though we all know its nuts.
She is in "breakdown mode" in her marriage, unhappy, and unwilling to continue counseling. She is, however, trying to do things as a family and she is missing us being one unit (her, me, the kids, house...etc).
I am just letting her do her own thing and trying to detach. I have my own plans now, building my business.....looking into airbrushing again since tattooing takes a lot out of me, and look for a new job with better pay....
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
She is, however, trying to do things as a family and she is missing us being one unit (her, me, the kids, house...etc).
Dude I am going to say this once and I really do not want to have to say I told you so. But have you been watching what Karla was doing with the whole family time thing. She used it and sucked me in and broke me down. All while she was still seeing JSO and lying to me telling me it was over between them. Don't let your gaurd down. I really hope she is not playing the same Game Karla tried.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
My guard is not down. I know what she did with that guy....she fell in love with him and that still bothers me greatly. I have flash backs about that and I can't stand listening to certain types of music now because she was so into that creep.
She is still not being honest with me, but I am ready to let her go if that's what she wants. I know what she is trying to do.....throw her guilt trip on me. It's not happening. She already broke me once and I am not going back to that. I don't see us being "back together" without serious counseling. Right now I have never disliked her as much as I do now.....it's almost to the point of despising her, but she made her choice, and she has to live with that choice. I have no idea whether she had sex or not with him, I only suspect, but I know her feelings for him are still there and very real.
She is feeling guilty because she told someone that she is breaking up her family.....and its eating at her. Well, my anger is subsiding a lot, and it's helping me to focus on doing the things I want to do - without her in my life. She's out of the house now, and I have every right to sell it if I wanted to. But I am looking after my daughter's and SS's interest. I love my wife but not as a wife - I am not in love with her. She's a human being that tore my heart out by cheating and now by moving out...if she wants back she WILL go to all the counseling we need and she WILL freakin stop lying about her affair, admit she had one and made a mistake....
Too much damage has been done. I still remember those sleepless nights 7 months ago, and all the crying I did. I'm in a better place now, not the best place yet, but I am getting there....
Last edited by sol1696; 07/03/0703:11 PM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
And since you have been through this before, I will let you know what she does or what develops.....
Man, she's even more screwed up in the head than I thought with her moving out - she always planned to move out as soon as she "found" a place - heard it from a friend of hers. Hopefully one day she can straighten herself out and really commit to something, but obviously she's not committed to me (or us). But I on the other hand am taking care of business......I am going to my next counseling appt on Friday. She told me she's not going, so it will be an IC session for me. My W already spilled the beans to the C, so it will be interesting to see what the C tells me - but I already heard it here.
I just need to keep telling myself she is gone from this R, and I am going to move on.
Last edited by sol1696; 07/03/0706:30 PM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
I just need to keep telling myself she is gone from this R, and I am going to move on.
I guess the real question is, do you want to move on? Or do you want her to re-commit to you and your family? Because from what i am reading, you said "if she wants back she WILL go to all the counseling we need and she WILL freakin stop lying about her affair, admit she had one and made a mistake....". Is that the only way you want her back? Because there is a chance she will not admit to her A being wrong but she still wants to reconcile. It could have been something she needed at the time. Not saying it's right, but it may be what she feels. And the counseling will be more for you to get over what she has done. That is an individual thing. You two need counseling to figure out why she had the A.
I only said if she wants to be back she will need to work on her issues in IC and also with me in MC.
And I also want to know what happened between us that lead to her having an affair......is it her depression? Insecurity? Trauma from being abused as a young girl? She is not in love with me at all anymore? She is definitely not happy nor is she getting the help she needs. She's running - that's all she knows right now. She's also threatens suicide when she gets in an angry fit....etc....
Quote:
You two need counseling to figure out why she had the A.
That is what I am trying to get at with her.....IF she wants this to work. But I am at a point where I can let her go if need be. I can't wait around forever.
Last edited by sol1696; 07/03/0708:10 PM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
