I guess we all should come here and post in about 5 -10 years. My STBXH is dating a woman that is newly divorced herself. She has a 4 year old boy. She initiated her divorce and had cheated on her H at least once that I know off. So here are two people, thinking they have found what they were looking for. They both are looking for 'someone else' to make them happy. It will be interesting to see how this goes. They have been together for about 5 months now, they met 4 months into my separation with H. This is their first serious R since their spouses.
Who knows, maybe they are made for each other. I am sure I will find out.
Neli
Hi Neli and thanks for posting.
I say the same in your sitch as I replied to Mojo. How can any relationship like this work with such a horrible foundation? How can either of them ever trust each other? They will have to work twice as hard for this to go anywhere! The newness will fade and they will be left to reflect on how did I get myself into this mess. Everything is nice and great in the beginning of a relationship but when that fades the real person comes out. Those little things that use to be so cute are not so cute anymore.
Only time will tell with all of these sitchs.
But one thing I do know is that you can't destroy a covenant and the vows that you made with a person for life and not have any repercussions from breaking the covenant that you made to another person for life. Only because someone fell into temptation and lust drove them to seek something outside of marriage. And they try to justify and say I was not happy, I don't remember "until unhappiness do us part" being in the vows that I took on my wedding day!
I just can't see how people go and make a new commitment with someone else because the realities of real life got too hard and the honeymoon stage wore off. I see why people today have a hard time trusting anyone.
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
B42, M15yrs, T16, No Kids 8-06: Buying house 8-8: Bomb 8-16: Served 9-11: D final 9-28: She moved out 12-3: PA-her 9-26-07: Last time I saw her. My sitch.
Sadly I have to report that all's worked out really well for my xh.
He treated me very badly while we were married. Including physical and emotional abuse. As a result I doubt I will ever be able to have a "proper" relationship with a man ever again.
He had an affair. He is now married to that woman. She left her h and three kids. He left me and our three kids in extreme financial difficulties.
They are married. Both work. Neither support their kids financially or emotionally. They have a nice house. And get invited to family parties while her ex and I don't.
So, where's the Karma in all of this?
My guess is yes the grass can be greener but not always. It's made me realise that what my exh said to me was true. Clearly he never did love me and that's why he treated me so badly.
Sorry if this dissappoints anyone.
Sorry to say that Karma doesn't come in our time, but in its own time. It will get there, never fear.
I thought that OW#2 and XH were living it up on the money I had to give him to get rid of him. When we were divorcing XH would throw OW in my face about how wonderful she was. They were so happy. His life was so great without me. Fast forward two years, I received an email from him two weeks that said OW was cheating on him, gave him herpes, she won't work and made his life total Hell. So no they are not living happily ever after. He wants me back. Not going to happen.
Obviously I'm not the person he would tell if it isn't the case but my ex and the OW appear to be very happy together. No Karma there they have loads of money from both divorces and each other.
This was his second affair with her as he had one with her prior to our marriage and that time she didn't leave her H for him.
So could be my ex has finally got what he wanted all along and the OW as well because she had at least one other PA on her H before she and my then H got together again and this time both decided to D their spouses.
So sometimes it works but I'm betting that is the minority.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
What's important is that the LBS is able to move on, and find later down the line, that the grass, after a cheating WAS, is a lot greener, and that the WAS actually did them a favour by leaving. One hopes, anyway. Who cares what happens to them afterwards, as long as they are fulfilling their parental obligations.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I thought that OW#2 and XH were living it up on the money I had to give him to get rid of him. When we were divorcing XH would throw OW in my face about how wonderful she was. They were so happy. His life was so great without me. Fast forward two years, I received an email from him two weeks that said OW was cheating on him, gave him herpes, she won't work and made his life total Hell. So no they are not living happily ever after. He wants me back. Not going to happen.
Lol, that's bad and he want you back with herpes! That's very arrogant.
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
Although everything is hunky dorey for my ex and OW I'm actually doing well too.
The most important thing for me is that I have the respect of my children. This is something my ex will never have.
I am enjoying my life more than I ever have done before. So that's good too. But I would like to meet a nice kind man.
On the surface my ex seems to have it all. A woman who loves him and does everything for him. He's lost his kids though. But I don't think he's bothered about that.
I would like to see their marriage fail though but I don't think it will happen. I'll let you know
I thought that OW#2 and XH were living it up on the money I had to give him to get rid of him. When we were divorcing XH would throw OW in my face about how wonderful she was. They were so happy. His life was so great without me. Fast forward two years, I received an email from him two weeks that said OW was cheating on him, gave him herpes, she won't work and made his life total Hell. So no they are not living happily ever after. He wants me back. Not going to happen.
Who cares what happens to them afterwards, as long as they are fulfilling their parental obligations.