Turning a Fragile R into a Strong M-

[Growing]

Halo,
I just found your new thread. Not very observant of me, huh?
It looks like things are going well in your sitch. Keep up the patients and PMA. It sound like your H is own his way to committing fully to your M.

You are in such a good place right now. I know you want more now, but look how far you have come. Just hangon a little longer.

I read somewhere that time for the WAS pasing much faster. A month to them is like a day whereas, a month to us is like 3 months or longer.

I know in my sitch 9 weeks so far seems like a year that I have not seen my W.

You go girl we are behind you every step of the way.

[Growing]

Halo,
I may have asked this before please forgive. After a while a lot of these sitches run together. I can barely keep up with my own.

What was the longest dark period you and H had during S? I think you said before and after D it was several months. Is this correct?

[mylittlehalo]

SSS- Thank you for your very encouraging post!

You are right... At the end of the day I do know (deep Down) that xH and I are meant to be together and WILL be together, Just going through a few hard times before the good times come rolling in

My MSN IM is [e-mail]

From reading your words I feel you are more upbeat and confident that things will be okay, regardless of the outcome of you and your W. Congrats for your progress.

[mylittlehalo]

slowly, thanks for checking on me and you are right the dips are not so bad now a days.

Randy, I am so glad you took the time to be more observent and find me. LOL

It sound like your H is own his way to committing fully to your M.

You really think so?

I too have heard this...

I read somewhere that time for the WAS pasing much faster.

As a matter of fact my mother (which everyone knows we are very close) told me to act like my H was dead when we first S. She told me that it is easier to deal with a spouse passing than it is dealing with a D. I dont know how much truth there is in that but once I thought of my H's absence being a mandatory thing vs a voluntary thing it did make life a bit easier.

you asked what the longest time xH and I went w/o communication... Okay which time? LOL
About 3 months after our S, we went from July to October w/o contact, we talked only once on his Bday. Then we went from October to December w/o contact, we talked on my Bday. But the longest time ever was after our D was final. We went from May to August w/o contact, he contacted me only because of a judgement that was awarded to me in our D. Trust me this was the only reason he contacted me, I believe the Ow (now XOw) had brain washed him, but once he saw me to give me my money he could not get enough, We talked spratically for the next year + then we are where we are now.

You are nine weeks, I know it feels like a life time but you have to stay strong. We are here for ya!


Journaling:
Today was a great day, Xh called me a couple of times while I was at work, just fun, light chit-chat.
Everytime we talk HE makes comments of how he cannot wait until "we" sleep together every night, until "he" can come home to "ME" every night, how he is looking forward to it being "our" bills, "our" money, "our" life together. What a great day.

OMG- xH called this evening when I was at the grocery store and told me that XOw Quit her job today. If it is not one thing is it another. He doesn't sound worried about it so I guess I am not worried either.

Thanks to all for standing behind me and lifting me when I need it.
Hugs and prayers to all.

[Growing]

I agree that D is worde than death. I have been the LBS twice and they both left me for married OM. If they had died I could realize it was final and moved on but since she is still around I still have hope. As long as we hold on to the hope we will feel the pain. so it gets drug out for a much longer time.

If we do let go of the hope and meet someone else then the X may want to come back and then we have to decide if we really want them back maybe go through the pain again if they are not happy.

[mylittlehalo]

Hello all, I just wanted to say that things are going well with myself and xH.

I hope all of you are good.
Love ya

[mylittlehalo]

Well hello everyone, its been a while since my last post. Not much has changed in my sitch.

Journaling...
Saturday, Xh had to DJ a wedding. After the wedding he calls me and asks me if I would meet up with him at a club downtown, I told him that I was getting ready to go to bed, he was very upset that I did not go to the club with him but I told him to have a great time and to be careful.

Sunday, went to xMIL & xFIL's house for a bbq. I had a great time, xh and I didnt really have a chance to talk but we both enjoyed each others company. xSIL, her H and new Baby showed up, the baby had an accident on his outfit and xSIL did not have a change of clothes, she asked me to go with her to get the baby a new outfit. This was a huge step, we (SIL & I) never really had a "friendship" and it looks like we are building one. Xh was very pleased to see me go with XSIL. while the guys were outside cooking the girls were having "girl talk" in the kitchen (just like in the movies LOL). I am amazed and even shocked at the R I am building with Xh's extended family. This is very pleasing to me. I have always wanted to have a friendship with my MIL & SIL and now it looks like we are getting a chance to have one.
Monday, Xh and I had a few conversations but mostly just chit chat, he is starting to open up to me a little more.
Today I get a phone call from him telling me about a house he wants me to look into for "US", I guess the time he has taken to find himself is really paying off.
We have big plans for this holiday weekend and I am so excited.
I hope all of you are doing well!
Lots of love,

[slowly]

Hi Halo - It is so encouraging to hear the steps in your R, all moving in the right direction

Wishing you a great weekend Slowly

[wiley]

Hi Halo,

I guess the time he has taken to find himself has really paid off.

Sounds like it to me too.. The smartest thing you or I or anybody else on this board can do is simply let go and allow time and space to have its say on what is meant to be or isn't.
They usually will come back towards you emotionally, if you are STRONG and PATIENT enough to leave them find their own way. The ones that "lovingly" apply that concept, usually see things improve, the ones that don't, well....take a look around the board and notice how little things change...

Have a great weekend halo, make sure you set aside some time for yourself...

[mylittlehalo]

Update:
"OUR" weekend was great, we had a lot of fun with each-other and spent time with his family. Wiley, you will be happy to know I took some time for me both Saturday ( I got my hair done) and Monday (I spent the whole day vegging out on the couch).
Friday nite at the club we got a lot of comments on how cute of a couple we make. We had a really great time.
Oh, by the way I believe he took our R to the next level, Saturday night he kissed me passionately and told me that he loves me. Hurray.
The more I lye back and go with the flow it seems like the more things work out the way I want them to.

For now I am enjoying the sunshine, tropical drinks, and getting a tan!