Sigh. Yah, lots of us can relate, no? Kudos to h for bringing up the violation of the nanny rule.
Any thoughts on next steps? Would you discuss/checkpoint with h more regularly about this? Is there a "need" for her to participate in sports with your h? That's the part I sort of don't get...I suppose it would smack of control to ask him to limit their interaction in that way?
Sending you good vibes and anti-affair-residue-solvent.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Hi Ellie~ Thanks for stopping by my thread yesterday. I am still very much pondering both yours and Wiley's posts.
I am with Sage as when I read your post about the fellow that was one thing BUT I didn't understand the surfing.
Quote: I suppose it would smack of control to ask him to limit their interaction in that way?
Is there a difference between control and boundries? Is saying "ya know, I'm not comfortable with the sports" controling or setting a boundry or are they one in the same and just another way to say the same thing?
You seem to have a good handle on this and sending you my good thoughts too!
Thanks all - I just had to vent last night. That made me calmer so I could approach H later with it - I told him that since the nanny rule had been violated, and I had 3 years to get through, that I really didn't want him surfing with her (yes, dfb, I've tried suirfing, but between my broken ribs and a nagging shoulder injury, i've been out of the water most of this year).
H was fine with that, reminded me that she hadn't been his first choice (he's one of 4 on the committee that picked her) and pointed out to me that not only did he find her a little too upper-class East coast for his tastes (true, I did sense that) but that he thinks she might be gay (no, I didn't sense that, but he could be right! )
Really - I was venting here not so much because I really felt she was a threat, but because I HATE having to even think about those things. I am NOT by nature a suspicious or jealous person. I never complained or was bothered by my H's gregarious nature - I liked that about him. I was always generous and (stupidly) confident in my H. Now I can't really be that way and I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!!
H was great about it though, totally understood my viewpoint, and I was very calm presenting it, because I'd gotten to vent here first. Thanks all!
Hi all - back from Chicago, didn't get to meet Manisha as she was feeling sick, but we ended up talking on the phone for hours anyway!
Also got to see the new Millenium Park which had just opened downtown, with a fabulously wild Frank Gehry-designed outdoor amphitheater which was really cool.
And H and I ditched the business dinner last night so we could go out alone together.
Overall, a nice (if too short) break from the usual.
Oops, guess I'd better pull myself up from page three with a little anecdote:
Last week my H was getting the female equivalent of obscene phone calls on his cell phone. He seldom gives out his cell phone number, so when he got the first call, he assumed it must be some business aquaintance. A woman said hello, and started talking to him. He couldn't place her, so he thought maybe it was just some work contact that he didn't recognize. Then she started in on how sexy his voice was. Well, he got off the phone in a hurry, and she called back! The caller ID just said unidentified caller, so he started letting it go to voice mail - well, she called over and over again, never leaving a voice mail (probably just listening to his "sexy voice" on the message).
H came home that night and told me all about it, didn't really have a clue who it could be. The phone rang several times that evening, he just let it go to voice mail.
Finally I said "give me that phone" and answered the next call - I just said "Why are you calling and bothering my HUSBAND?". H was afraid it would just egg them on, but nope- worked like a charm - no calls since
(BTW - I am not suspicious at all about the calls - ex-OW would never have this number, we got new phones and didn't transfer our old numbers. H does a lot of public speaking, and has had the occasional over-enthusiastic "fan" in the past. I suspect some woman who saw him speak finagled his phone number out of someone!)
Hi all - check out my thread in just for fun and give me some ideas for colleges for my son, okay?
S17 is now working as a boxboy at the local grocery store (or "courtesy clerk", as he keeps reminding me). This is his first job and it is working out great for him
Meanwhile, D13's new kitten and our 9 year old German Shepherd have become best friends. They play hide-and-seek all day. Right now they are snuggled up sleeping together.
H has had a tough month - he said yes to too many things and ended up totally overscheduled with work stuff, then gets completely exhausted and burned out and talks about giving it all up. I think I was put here on this earth to teach him moderation
)