Hi all. I just got out of the hospital about a week ago. I was there for ten days for depression. Things keep getting worse with my husband. He has had the house appraised and wants to move forward with either selling it or him keeping it and cashing me out of it.
I am going to alcohol treatment in a few days. I am going into a 30 day program. Then, I have to go to jail for a dwi that I was charged with back in 1999. My husband wouldn't let me get a lawyer, so I never dealt with it. I now have a public defender. I imagine I am going to have to do some time. Perhaps as much as six months or a year.
I have moved into the acceptance phase of things. I know that I cannot start my life over until I deal with this dwi and so, I am dealing with it.
I sent my H an email today telling him that I am no longer the weak sick person he knew. I will not roll over and play dead for this divorce or dissolutionment. There are certain things I want if it is to occur and I told him that in no uncertain terms. I also told him that He is the one that wants this...not me.
He called me after reading the email. We talked for quite a while. I validated some of what he said, but also held my ground on some things.
I am still depressed, but no where near as bad as I was. I am stabilized on my medications and I am feeling better than I was. That is not hard to do, however. I was close to suicidal.
I now believe I just have to start one day at a time piecing myself together again. I can't bear to leave piecing because this is where I have always gotten the most support.
Please bear with me as I try to get better. I am going to try and post here once a day or so.
My plans include going back to school to get my teaching certificate up to date. I have to be able to support myself once I get out of jail.
I have told my H that I will not sign any paperwork until I have served my jail time. I need to know that my things are taken care of and as long as we are still married my belongings can stay in the house. He seems to be ok with that so far....I suppose it depends on how much time I get.
We'll see. Pray for me, as I pray for all of you.
I know pray to ST. Rita of the impossible....I pray that she gives me my husband back and gives me my marriage back. She is the patron saint of the impossible. I also pray that she helps all of you who are working hard to save your marriages.
I'm glad you will be getting the help you need! If you feel comfortable here, then by all means stay! I will pray for you; that you get better and become a better person. There is nothing wrong in getting help when you need it!
Sorry, you have to do time, but they take DUI's seriously! And I have to agree with the law. When you drink and drive you put our lives in your hands!
This is a charge from 1999. I was a different person then. However, I never dealt with it and now need to do so. I have to pay the consequences of my past actions.
Thank you for your support and prayers. I appreciate it greatly.
I commend you for having the courage to admit that you needed help and reached out for it.
If the DWI charge is your first, then hopefully you will be fined, given a restricted OR have your driver's license suspended and attend a drug treatment program in lieu of serving any real time.
You sound very good in this post. You are accepting responsibility for what you've done and are prepared to deal with it. You seem to have come a long way since your last post, you seem to have made it to "Step 4"....keep up the good work ! T2
But I am full of admiration for you taking the bull by the horns, facing the consequences of what you have done and dealing with it. No pity party!
We're all behind you here, and I will even pray for you! I said on my thread recently that I might be driven to pray about my situation, even though I am an atheist!
Good morning Alaskcangal - I was worried about you.
Sorry to hear about the DUI from 1999 but the judge can only sentance you based on the law as it was written in 1999 not as it has been changed since then. Since you have taked positive steps to correct the drinking problem it is possible that any time given will be light or just probation. keep your hopes us and we will all be praying for you.
I am having a very rough day today. Have bible study at 1...hopefully that lifts my spirits.
I feel like I am just waiting for everything to fall apart. I wish I could go into treatment today. I have to wait about a week and it's really hard.
I can't write. I want to call H..but know better. I have no real friends in town here.
I am so alone.
My son is living with his dad until I get back on my feet. It will probably take me a year or more.
In some ways, this is good as he will be 13 soon and wants a male influence. His dad loves him dearly. His dad has also said he would not take custody from me nor fight with me when I wanted to have him come back and live with me.
I wish I could get excited and say this is a new adventure and that I am ready for it. I'm not. I'm sad and want my H back.
I want H to understand that I was sick. H does not. H will not.
H said the six months I was sober I was just a b**ch that wasn't drinking.
I am losing my H, my dream home, my way of life...it is painful.
Today is not a good day for me.
I pray to St. Rita, patron saint of the impossible...for restoration in my marriage.
I pray to St. Rita, patron saint of the impossible...for help along my journey.
I pray to St. Rita, patron saint of the impossible....for all those who wish for healing in their marriages and relationships.
Thanks for your kind messages. It means a lot. Akgal
You are doing the right thing in cleaning the slate and starting over. Facing your past will clear the way for your future. Good for you.
Keep working on your book as it might take your mind off things a bit. You can do it.
I know you weren't up for the other topic when it was offered, but you might want to reconsider at some time. You could offer great perspective. It could be part of your healing as well.
I got your message on Yahoo and have been swamped. I didn't forget, just haven't done anything.
Hang in there. I'll pray for you too.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
