I am steadily moving into warmer and warmer territory. Still getting the "daggers"- but at this point it is so obvious that all comments are H regaining control of the sitch, feeling jealous or insecure, even proving to the guys he is a man type of talk, he (drummer in band is always picking up chics, so H has to act like- hey he could too.). All talk. Make himself feel better, make it look like he's liking this stuff because he fears I could, or that's how other guys he's around act and he has to measure up? He's calling the shots. Let's face it, he hasn't once actually flirted with another woman or done any of this stuff. When he throws comments, they don't last either lately. Like 5-10 min after a comment, he starts acting sensitive and "WE" oriented again. He even said 2 days ago, that it's not that he really wants to have sex that much when he sees women, he just likes to look. Breakthrough him admitting that!
Have had some pretty HUGE steps this weekend. H is now coming to "my bed" some. It started with the cats... He started to come to cuddle the "cat", telling me that "cat is in my bed and he wants to cuddle CAT, so he informed me that he "needs to use my bed" At first made silly comment, that I shouldn't expect hugs, only cats get them. When I first moved in last weekend, it was "do roommates get hugs?" And I got hugs a couple times on the sofa. We ML but didn't sleep in bed together. Then a couple days later, we ML and H spent more time in my bed. This weekend H spent the night in my bed Sat(after ML), asked to cuddle ME in my bed on Sun- slept in his own bed Sun night, but this morning came to wake me up in my bed with a hug and kiss!!! He's acting very flirty, warm and interested in me. Grabbing my butt, teasing me quite a bit. Wonders what I'm doing all the time. What am I doing on computer? What article am I reading in his guitar magazine?(all interested) Who am I on phone with- tries to interrupt my convo, so he's included. He now wants me to leave a note when I leave with where I went if he's not here, so he doesn't worry about where I am or if something happened to me! I am not initiating any of this, being super independent, looking/acting irresistible!
Fri night, the neighbors(a married couple) invited H and I over for drinks. We all had a blast. The other woman and I danced flirtatiously together and sang for the guys. Should have seen the pleasure on their faces...:p
Sat night H had an out of town show with his band, and didn't invite me. He kept saying "he" had to go-"he'll be gone all night" so I didn't invite myself and instead went out with some gf's. H knows one of my gf's is very flirty and out to pick up men. So the first off, he throws daggers that he and drummer are gonna bar hop after show- and chics are hot- heck he'd do my gf, she's hot. Then he asks details about where I'm going, and wants me to call him on his friends cell phone if I do go out, b/c I offered to sell some tickets for his band(nevermind I'm telling him now I'm taking tickets- he wants a call when I go out). The whole time, he's stammering about all this(obviously regaining his control over what he wonders I may be doing when I go out) When we both got home late Sat night, (actually Sun a.m,- lol) H asked all about bar I was at, what type of ppl were there(under the guise of needing to know if his band could ever play there) I'm sure he wondered about opp for his band, but he was just as curious to know what people I was partying with! Did me and gf get into trouble? Told him yeh, gf hooked up w. someone(she did) but then we got to hugging and ML, I mentioned that "I didn't really want to F other guys" Look what happened for me Sun and this morning after that! So a little reassurance here and there, seems to be good too. Just keep up the exciting independence and show that I have opportunities/people like me, of course- since I'm amazing and fun!
H left for an overnight stay out of town tonight, but was asking me what I'll be doing when he's gone. Said I'd play it by ear with a flirty smile. He wants me to call him at the place he's staying if I need anything. I think I have the perfect combo going of independence, excitement and warmth
The cats are getting ILY's and kisses everyday now, I can only be next!! H is spoiling and loving them like babies. H even made comment about cats being with him for the rest of his life, he's never losing them again( I was supposed to have taken cats to live w, me and h "detached") Thanks my little buddies!
Also overheard H on phone the other day, telling buddy that his "wife was living with him again". H has tons of stuff to show me what he's doing. He's so forthcoming about everything he's doing, and he seems to love to share it. This is great! He seems really interested in what I'm doing b/c I'm acting so new, fun, and happy/flirty-(and into his interests) Feel like we're dating again!
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
Not much to report - H has been out of town, came home tonight. I suprised him with a cd he wanted - told him he had to find it on me.... and had it in my pants Even though he was tired- I got a curiously interested look and then a grin. Scored it for half price used, so he was happy.
Got a whole new wardrobe of sexy clothes and lingerie- keeping this new exciting 'dating' vibe going.... My mystery seems to work by itself- H must really have suspicions going. He called me from his trip earlier today. First call I missed, then he calls later and he wanted to know if his contact for audition called last night.(audition is supposed to be in 10 days) I said I didn't think so- then he said he figured "I went out last night" so I should double-check the caller id. LOL. WOW.
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
I want to give you a big HUG and THANKS for being there for me. You are always a bright shining light of optimisim for me. For everyone on the BB too. Unfortuantely I think it might be too late and she too far gone. I haven't given up because you won't let me but I am no longer going to place it as my focus. I really need to figure out what I'm going to be doing next.
I want to tell you that you are such a beautiful person on the inside. I'm sure a hottie on the outside too. I can't imagine anyone to be any more fortunate than him to have someone like you to stand by him. You have really gone the extra mile and are doing great. You are already reconciling and he doesn't even know it yet. It can be our wise secret.
Even though he was tired- I got a curiously interested look and then a grin. Scored it for half price used, so he was happy.