We didn't make it...My 9-year marriage and 12-year relationship comes to a close tomorrow when the Divorce is finalized...It was such an abrupt end to truly the most amazing years of my life...Words can't express the LOSS and DEVASTATION that coarses my mind and soul...The LOSS of hope, dreams, commitment and companionship that this Divorce leaves me with is a wound that cuts so deep I don't feel like it will ever fully heal...A part of me truly dies tomorrow... I'm at peace with the fact that she immaturely ran away leaving me/my family with so many unanswered questions and that is just how it is going to be...I take solace in the fact that people/friends noticed that I provided everything for her during our relationship and we truly seemed to love each other deeply... I worked very hard to try and salvage our marriage but for whatever reason, it wasn't enough to overcome whatever it is she is going through... Thanks everyone for your support, advice, and words of encouragement...It truly helped me to process everything that has taken place the last 3 months and I'm not sure what I would've done without it..
Hi Cory, I'm so sorry to read your update. That is devastating. It's like losing half of yourself. I went back and read your first post and see that you had been building a house and trying to have a baby. I can't believe you went from that to getting a divorce. It's obviously just because your wife had an affair and it changed her perspective on everything. What your wife will learn the hard way is that those feelings of exhilaration and happiness she thinks she's feeling will fade, the affair isn't likely to last, and the freedom she gains from divorce will turn to loneliness. She threw away everything for what? You sound like a dream husband. I can't believe there's a husband out there who thought his marriage marked the best years of his life. My husband said the opposite - marriage is a trap and he's miserable. I wasn't even a controlling woman. I changed for the worse towards the end after his first affair but before that I was just like you and provided everything and love my husband with all my heart. So it's strange now to think that a guy like you exists and your wife didn't appreciate it. Even towards the end after she said she wants a divorce it sounds like you handled it well and did everything possible to save the marriage. This phenomenon of someone abandoning a loyal, loving spouse and trashing everything they built together with their spouse just has to be worse than death or disease. It's just so unfair to do this to someone. How selfish to leave your spouse like this. It's beyond sad. I'm deeply sorry that you've had to go through this. It'd be nice if you could post updates once-in-a-while after the divorce. It would be helpful to know if your wife tries to come back later on once she realizes what she lost.
We didn't make it...My 9-year marriage and 12-year relationship comes to a close tomorrow when the Divorce is finalized...It was such an abrupt end to truly the most amazing years of my life...Words can't express the LOSS and DEVASTATION that coarses my mind and soul...The LOSS of hope, dreams, commitment and companionship that this Divorce leaves me with is a wound that cuts so deep I don't feel like it will ever fully heal...A part of me truly dies tomorrow... I'm at peace with the fact that she immaturely ran away leaving me/my family with so many unanswered questions and that is just how it is going to be...I take solace in the fact that people/friends noticed that I provided everything for her during our relationship and we truly seemed to love each other deeply... I worked very hard to try and salvage our marriage but for whatever reason, it wasn't enough to overcome whatever it is she is going through... Thanks everyone for your support, advice, and words of encouragement...It truly helped me to process everything that has taken place the last 3 months and I'm not sure what I would've done without it..
Cory, very sorry for you brother. I know this hurts a lot. Unfortunately our world is an imperfect place, and people are flawed. You will overcome though! And you can rest assured moving forward that you tried and expended a huge effort to try to save things. Your hands are clean.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Cory, I am so sorry to hear of the news. Your tireless effort to save your marriage was inspirational. Your WW will regret what she did someday. I hope you find peace knowing she drove this train into the ground and you did all you could to back it out. Be well. The question you may need to ask one day is will you take her back after she begs for forgiveness for her selfish emotional decision.
Cory, remember that D is just a step in the process. It doesn't mean you won't ever have MR 2.0 with her. So don't look at it as the definitive end, unless you decide it is.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Cory, sorry to hear this. But it's not the end of your life, it's an end to this chapter of your life. I am older than you and I was married over twice as long as you, so I can relate to your feelings of hopelessness and finality. But I have built a new life for myself that is fantastic and fulfilling, and given where I was after BD I can confidently say that if I can do it then anyone can.
And besides that, you don't know that this is the end. I work with a guy that recently remarried his ex after being divorced 10 YEARS. I have another friend whose wife left him for an OM and they did not speak for 2 years, not one word. They have been back together for 3 years now and happier than ever. Do go ahead and grieve the loss of your M, but never give up HOPE.
Thanks guys for the encouraging words, I read them frequently to give me strength...
Nicole: The day itself was like a continuous FOG...I reverted back ruminating about all of the unanswered questions and thoughts from the Bomb Drop and how this could have possibly happened..The good thing, was this time I was able to stop the stories and understand that she isn't capable of honestly answering them nor does it do me any good now to have them answered at this point with the Divorce FINAL..
What probably made it most difficult was that it was also my first day back to work from summer vacation and having to deal with all of the questions from colleagues...I seemed like a fighter just taking blow after blow..."How is your sweet beautiful wife?", "How is your new house coming along?", "What amazing adventures did you guys do this summer?"...Those were the continuous body shots and the knockout blow was "Well, any baby news? You gonna be a daddy yet?" Yep, got that 3 times and each time it cut deeper and deeper.. The SAD thing on my end was I didn't know how to say that our Divorce was going to be final at the end of the day:-( I think that I knew the news would bring shock and attention or maybe I was just embarrassed or too hurt..Whatever reason, I just would laugh off the questions and give vague answers...At the end of the day, I just threw my hands up in the air and told the universe that I had had enough pain and was ready for something positive..When I went to bed, I felt a sense of pride from surviving the day and felt that I was continually getting stronger and more resilient...
The last couple of days have been mostly up but some down, the difference is that now I don't allow myself to follow the stories when I'm down and make it worse...I feel good that I'm making progress day by day, moment by moment and once again revisit the posts on here for inspiration when I'm low...Thx again!!
C.....I can tell you from personal experience that it does get better and that you will be more than fine. I just met an amazing woman last night and we went out again today. When you meet someone that is totally into you it will come full circle. Hang in there better days are ahead!
