Not sure what I have

[Guzzard]

NC still, no additional emails.
W no progress on D paperwork.
I'm not doing anything on it either.
Rough day so far as I am cleaning up stuff she left behind which creates connection. It's all out of sight already, but need to box it up and toss it in garage. Will at some point say she has one trip to pick up or I'll take to relatives.
We had plans for this weekend so that also stirs the emotions.
I have a GAL event tonight and tomorrow morning, otherwise need to do household tasks, errands and such.
Still unsure what *I* want to have happen with R/M, changes day to day still, though driven by things like the cleaning that bring it to the forefront on my mind.

It's hard too because dealing with the mental illness sometimes makes me thing "am I the one that is sick?" so I review with my therapist and take online disorder tests even though I know it isn't me.... at least that stuff validates it which helps.