Dealing with WW, Divorce, and Kids 3

[WhyUs]

V,

Thank you so much for posting. I have been hoping that you would. This shift is scary for me. I do not want regrets. I think that is probably part of the reason I have been doing this for the time that I have. I really am struggling to understand if I am letting go or moving on. Letting go feels so much better. Perhaps I am trying to move on to ensure I am letting go.

D7 has a birthday party coming up. Part of me is nervous about standing in a corner all alone while a bunch of people stand around wondering what the heck is going on. I am dreading it. Part of me also says that this is an opportunity for me to look good, smell good, be happy and exude confidence in front of WW for the first time in 6 months. Another part of me says screw WW, I don't care what she thinks. This is my daughter's birthday party and nothing is going to take away from this experience.

One of the odd parts is that WW made the invite list and I do not know who is coming. I am sure her family will. That will be awkward to say the least.

[InLikeFlynn]

Invite your family and friends as well but give her the list so she cant say no. Once they show up she cant look bad in front on kid etc

[Vanilla]

From where I am sitting, it's moving forward and letting go. A good combo.

Relax into it, let your higher power guide you.

It has served you well so far.

I am so proud of you in working to rebuild your R with your children. I agree it's what your D knows, my dad came to my birthday for ME.

Let it unfold, it will do so, operate from your love of your lovely Ds and there is nothing to fear. You are doing well, remember how it was and compare how it is.

You are a terrific dad, in 10 years time, you will know you stood firm for Why and his family.

When it's time you can choose to move on or no.

V

[InLikeFlynn]

Invite your family and friends as well but (DON'T!!!)give her the list so she cant say no. Once they show up she cant look bad in front on kid etc

Added DON'T

[WhyUs]

Journaling...

I went to the birthday party and did not invite any family. Her only family ended up being her mother and our niece and nephew from her side of the family. Overall it went well. I did not speak to her or her mother. I have hugs to my niece and nephew and spoke to them briefly. WW did not make contact and or exchange glances. Same goes for her mother. I was there for the entire party--about 1.5 hrs.

I wore all new clothes and put on cologne. I know I looked good and WW I am sure saw that. She also looked really good. I forgot how pretty she can be when she is not trying to take my kids and rob me blind.

One interesting thing is that there was one family that WW had made me believe was firmly in her corner. They were good friends of ours and people she was confiding in prior to the divorce. They talked to me the entire time and then sent a text after the party expressing how much they enjoyed spending time with me. That was a nice feeling.

There was one other family that I knew would be there and knew for a fact WW had brained washed. This was the family where the husband helped WW hide a secret phone she was talking to OM with. He also told her to divorce me. He also wrote a negative affidavit about me. He did not even come within 25 feet of me.

I do not believe I have ever hated a person in my life. I may not like a person, but the line to hate has never been crossed. I sincerely hate this individual.

[WhyUs]

Just noticed a magnet that WW put on the refrigerator. "Slow down, Calm down, Don't worry, Don't hurry, Trust the process."

[Vanilla]

Oh dear, let the hate go WhyUs, the reason is that it takes control of you. People like that aren't even worth a moments thought.

Great party grooves.....

V

[WhyUs]

No hate here V. This is the philosophy that WW uses with the families that she works with. When I read it today it reminded me of DB. I felt it was ironic.

I talked to my lawyer about trying to settle the custody agreement out of court. He wants to meet tomorrow. I'm ready to move this forward. I told him I want to invite her over Christmas morning so the kids can have us both there. I'm still not 100% on that idea.

The kids called the other day and it went to my voicemail. They did not hang up so about 2 minutes of recording took place. WW can be heard making a disparaging remark about me to the kids. Its sad. I hope she can find peace one day.

I feel indifferent a lot of the time. There are still moments when I get sad and wish we could work it out. Then WW does something else and I am reminded of how far apart we really are.

[WhyUs]

V, i did not realize you were refering to my earlier post about hate. Yes, i am struggling not to hate him.

[Vanilla]

That is why we have voodoo dolls and pins to get the feelings out!!

Do that which you need to do to have access to your Ds.

Whatever WW says, it doesn't matter if the reality is different in experience for your Ds.

That is more important than anything else. It really is.

V