I want to stay married but I also want to stay living close to my daughters. My current marriage seems to be better now for that last few days, but I have discovered that I have been too clingy. My wife revealed to me that she has often felt smothered by me. Physical affection is obviously much less important to her than it is to me, so I realize now that I need to back off. For instance, she doesn't want massages from me anymore because she knows that I'm always hoping that it will lead to sex. I used to buy her lingerie periodically, but she never wears it for me even though I have asked her many times. I think this issue has led to quite a bit of tension in my current M as well as my last M. Yet she does like to hold my hand when we go out, but when she used the D word a few weeks ago, I knew I had to avoid that too for awhile.
But I can't make her want more sex and I can't make her be more loving and caring to my daughters. It seems to me that I just need to back off physically and try to avoid interactions between her and my ex as far as possible. Whenever issues concerning my ex come up, she gets a little hostile.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
UPDATE: Things have been going smoothly for the last several months, at least from my perspective. Then last night happened. I went to pick her up from work and she gave me my usual kiss. Earlier in the day she had even said, "I love you" as we finished a phone conversation. When we were almost home, she realized she had left her paycheck at work. We discussed whether we should return to get it or call her female coworker friend to bring it to her. We opted for calling the friend. Her friend arrived about an hour later and I went to put the check in the bank for her. Her friend stayed visiting with her for about three hours. When she finally left, my wife went to bed and my oldest daughter (age 14) came to the kitchen to prepare herself some food and was having stomach pain. My daughter also texted her mom (my ex) about the stomach pain. I was helping her deal with that problem and then finally went to bed. My wife asked me what was wrong with my daughter. So I explained about her stomach pain. Then my ex called me to discuss our daughter's stomach problem further. When I got off the phone, my wife asked questions about the conversation. Then she started to complain about how my daughters go too bed to late and get up too late. I did agree with her that I would start to put them to bed earlier and get them up earlier. And then she started to complain about how I am raising them and that now she understands why my ex cheated on me and should have done it more. Then she said, "Don't be surprised if you are served divorce papers in a few weeks, because I am not going to tolerate this situation." All this time, I did not raise my voice to respond. In fact, I hardly said anything. I went to sleep on the sofa for awhile. This morning I asked her to clarify how I deserve to be cheated on, but she would not respond. How do I deal with this situation?
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Yesterday, we didn't speak to each other the whole day except that I asked her if she wanted to go to the park with me and the kids to which she responded, "No, it's too hot." She dressed up nice in the evening, so I thought she was going out with her friends, but she didn't go anywhere. At one point, she yanked the phone out of my hands to see what I was doing. Maybe she thinks I am cheating on her or something. I had been texting with a guy friend of mine about my situation. This morning, we haven't talked with each other yet.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
