Mothers day? I'm getting divorce papers served to me today. I still want this marriage, how do I go about mothers day. W doesn't have much of a family, do I let her come to my parents or should I tell her this is path she wants, she can spend day with kids, I'll spend it with my mom. I want her to see the future, I don't want to put added stress on ours.
Having bad day thinking about everything going on. From the D to what's going to happen with kids. Can't see ever fixing things with W, once friends of court get involved. She want joint, but she works a ton of hours. I going to go for primary for the good of the children. I sure things are going to get really ugly. Don't want to go to war, but I have to protect the kids and myself.
Got to take paper to my lawyer next week. Trying to decide if I have lawyer put something in paperwork fighting against a vacation W booked week before filing. Plans to take kids out of country for New Years, without saying anything to me. D will be done by then, do I open this can of worms and put a dagger in the big D, or do I say nothing hoping we can still work thing out. If I don't say anything I paid for half a trip for them, and my kids leave county for holiday.
Didn't get many text or emails over past few months, now that I'm severed seems like she wants to tell me everything about kids, and what she's doing. Just sent me a text to see if I remember she going out with a girl friend for the day. I do remember, but what does it have to do with anything? Not like she was going to pick kids up and take to there activities. I just don't get her. I'm trying to detach but W doesn't make it easy.
Just got another text saying she spending night at hotel with her girl friend (friend told me about this weeks ago). Do I respond with anything, or just ignore and go about my day?
Last week she wanted to know if there was something going on between me and this friend.
Love how W can just get up and go without worry about what has to be done with the kids. Not sure if I'm jealous or feel disrespected. I could never do something like that.
Hey mobile. Ignore her texts about what she is doing. Could be a million reasons why, but its not your job anymore to be her chat buddy since she served you. You can be pleasant upbeat and nice when you are around her, but no reason to cheer on her GAL activities. Work on your own.
As for Mother's Day, just make sure your kids do something for her. Have them make her a card or something. You DONT do anything for her.
On the trip, why would you want to keep your kids from going? Is it a safety reason or a pride thing where you just dont want them to go without you? I know its tough and stinks to see her doing fun stuff without you, but do not use the kids as a tool to punish her. If she is taking your kids on a fun trip, by all means, let your kids have fun and a great experience. I know you say your D will be over by then, but do not count on it. Divorces can take a long long time. My W filed almost a year ago and we are still no closer to a D than someone who just got served a few weeks ago. And that is with ME trying to speed things up!
Yes, you are right. Things will probably get ugly once the D process starts. By their very nature Ds are adversarial and throw in child custody (like my D) and the sky is the limit as to how bad things can get. Just remember to keep your kids' best interest at heart. If you feel you having custody is what is best, then fight as hard as you can with no regard to how she feels. Again, just do not use the kids as a tool to punish.
Best of luck to you!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
The trip, little bit of my pride, but also safety. They are going other friends to all inclusive resort in Mexico. The plan is big time party, W not the most responsible person when drinking(more now than ever). Worried for the safety of youngest S. Figuring I'm not going to fight trip, just have my lawyer put in I'm not paying for it.
Had nice evening with kids, W spent night with a friend. As much as I want to save this marriage I'm finally coming to the conclusion its out of my control and I need to move on with life. Yesterday I joined the local Harley group, going to get out and meet new people. Done with this loving someone and getting nothing in return.
From here on out I'm going to take care of me and the kids, and protect myself in the big D. Still hoping to get through this without starting a war, but I realize that there is a good chance one will start.
Had talk with W about Big D. She filed for joint custody. I told her I want to try and be as civil as possible in the whole D, told her I have no plans of turning into an ass over this, even though she keeps testing me. As I'm saying this she is crying. Told her I don't want to take kids away from her, but how does she think she can take care of kids with the hours she works. She says she never thought about it. How can someone file and make such a big decision without thinking about everything? I told her to think of a plan on how she could possibly take care of kids if we did joint, and I would be willing to sit and discuss. She kept crying, I got up and walked away. Hopefully she can come up with an idea over the weekend.
As for mothers day, heading to church with my mother. Afterward plan to spend day with friends. W and kids can do what they want. I'll tell W to tell kids I had to work so there not wondering why dads not at home making breakfast like normal on Sunday. It's her day not mine.
I'm doing yard work, W comes home we start talking. W starts crying, sits on my lap tells me she loves me and miss me. We hug, I say same back. We go in house, hug again I kiss her on forehead. I go up stairs to shower and change, before I start she comes up changes in pj's and kisses me. We kiss for few seconds. She stops and goes downstairs. After I shower she says nothing more. Played with youngest kid for little bit, now we're all in our own rooms sleeping. Was just happened? Do I do anything? Was it just a test to see if she felt anything?
