Yeah I can relate to that "losing yourself" thing, not knowing I was with a MLC'r until probably about 2-3 years after she first started .... as a fellow fixer... trying everything just to try to make them happy, to avoid the fights and meltdowns ... you do really lose yourself and honestly I became someone I did not really like, that lesson of "You can not fix them" was the hardest one for me ... I loved showing off my tool box, but had to accept that ... so I turned the focus on me and turns out Its alot healthier to constantly work on me and let the MLC'r do their thing.
Cali!!!!! Thanks for stopping by- I think about you often and just caught up on your thread too.
It's crazy how insidious those changes in is are as we try desperately to fix our relationship. I was also going through a rough time at work when ex was starting I to MLC ( though I didn't know he was in it at time) and I was so devastated that he wasn't supporting me more. I know I went through a depression during that time and really lost myself.
I know my step is lighter these days as the boulders of baggage have been tossed aside!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
