Shakspr, I'm with you on having to do thins for XW to take care of kids. Happens frequently, but I'd rather kid's life not be degraded more than them leaving has already done. Learning to say "NO" is hard cuz obviously I haven't mastered it yet
W-37 Me-37 M-16yrs & 5days W "Done" Day = Valentine Day 2014 D-8/13/2014 S16 S13 S11 D8
So, Six Flags was great and I miss having a wife to share my life with.
Plenty of stuff to be thankful for - early Christmas gift from Mom ($$), healthy fam (except stupid dog - goes to vet tmrw,) patient friends on the forum who are right there with me. I just want my wife back - 2005 version would be just fine.
This, too, shall pass.
Knowledge of her likely whereabouts doesn't help. No snooping required - it's her b-day and when I offered to bring kids by in evening (when SS15 should be bk from his Dad's) she said no, thanks. Outta town. And now I'm watching SS15 because her plan to have D21 stay with him overnight fell thru and she didn't get bk here until late. She's coming over early tomorrow to take them to school (I normally do on Monday) so I can take mutt to the vet and get to work on time. Reasonable exchange, smart use of resources, chilluns see us working together.
And I just took time with SS15 so XW and home wrecking OM can have a lovely evening. Probably.
Not sure I would change a thing, as I'll take all the time I can get with him...and yet...it [censored].
Just blowing off steam, really. Have been mourning the death of my marriage in my own way. Which is apparently housecleaning in advance of family visiting over Thanksgiving.
I'll try to be better about checking in on you guys this week. Not much to report here. Grief is not my friend. But this Dude abides.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
I'm not doin' so good tonight. The fact that I am divorced for real is starting to set in. I would like to see the difference between hope and living denial a little clearer. I do accept that I can hope as long as I want. Right now it just seems like that will exacerbate my pain and stretch it out over time.
I am glad that I have no hate for XW. But I just can't wrap my head around all of it.
All I ever wanted was a family that was whole. Flawed, sure. But intact and capable of facing the world with a smile and a wink.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
You only have to look into Crimson's threads to realize that a divorce is just a piece of paper. I mean...it does not necessarily means that the marriage is dead. Just means that the old marriage is dead. A big difference right there.
Thinking Of you tonight, shakes. Like maybell, I'm amazed at how fast a divorce can be granted in certain states. It's no wonder you can't wrap your head around it. Pigs have longer gestation periods (I'm be no means relating pigs to your divorce or your ex, just the time table).
Sorry to hear you're having a rough night Shakes. There's nothing like getting the house ready for Thanksgiving to reflect about how your life has changed. I doubt you're living in denial, most of us just aren't built to absorb this kind of change that quickly and you're still adjusting.
I hear you about the whole family - this all seems so unnatural to me. I've taken some comfort in the way my remaining family, including my In-laws, have rallied round. I guess in some ways my family has unexpectedly grown throughout this.
I'm glad you got some extra time with SS15, regardless of the circumstances.
