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I was very negative with him. He traveled a lot for work and when he got home he was very checked out. I wanted help with the kids, and I wanted to do things together as a family. Instead of explaining to him what would make me happy, I would yell at him and tell him my demands not my feelings. I resented that he had a fun life outside of the home (work) and I didn't. I didn't handle myself properly and acted childish. He often told me my tone was horrible and that I should calm down and speak to me in a more respectful way. I realize that now, but at the time he barely complained and I felt that it was the only way he would "hear" me. Instead I pushed him away. He didn't want to come home because I would nag him and tell him he needs to help more, which in turn made him more distant. It was a vicious cycle. Thankfully our kids are a little older now and with my new perspective (don't sweat the small stuff) I realize I shouldn't have spoken to him the way I did and we should have calmly sat down and discussed our issues instead of my yelling at him the minute he walked in the door.

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Any advice?

Joined: Mar 2007
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Welcome to the club, such as it is, How. I'm sorry you're here, but you'll get some excellent support from the group.

Keep your chin up!


BF:40 M:33
SD: 12
T: 8, never married, no kids together
BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try".
PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
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Thanks Two. smile

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How123, sometimes when you are looking to get advice from others, but not getting the responses you're wanting, it helps to post on others' threads. This does two things -- it engages you with others who are in the same boat, and they are more likely to check out your thread and comment, and also you'll find that you will learn from the advice you give others. Then you can practice applying it to your own situation. Read the books and practice advising others based on what you learn there, and you'll find that more folks will engage with you, and you won't feel so alone.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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