Hi everyone, I need your opinion. My husband filed divorce while we are on the process I found out I'm hpv positive. Before I heard the new from my md, I talked to him about porno sits that I found out on his PC before and said that might lead to buying sex. I know we are on divorce process but that was bothering me. He said only that was his business. When I informed him about the hpv, he only said that that is normal. I want to save my marriage but in some point I'm scared what else I'll get from him since I found out also his contemplating of buying sex. He said he'll be on training but i mentioned to him what if I know where your going. He just said maybe his lying. On that trip that where his contemplating of buying sex. I was the one who made an effort to save our marriage and this time I back off. We are not talking anymore and his kind of frustrated of our current living situation. As I've said I want to save my marriage but I need to take care of myself as we'll. I would appreciate any opinion or advice. Thnx
My goodness. I'm so sorry to hear the news, Kattie. I would say definitely protecting your health is the priority - no unprotected sex with the H without STD testing. Especially HIV testing, which I think needs to be repeated for confirmation after 6 months. I can imagine him getting pissed off at that request, but if he cares about your health and peace of mind, he needs to do it.
Me: 26, BF: 33, R: 9yrs Bomb dropped April 17th 2014 Currently No Contact
Why do you want to be with a man who cares so little for your health (physically, mentally, and emotionally)? His selfishness and lack of human concern for your welfare is enough to make most women kick him to the crub. So tell me why you want to save this M?
Do you feel you deserve better than this? Even if somehow you think you still love him.......in spite of his terrible disrespect to you.....you can't force another person to love you, if they don't want to.
Do you know how long he has cheated on you (in years)? I sense he has had a problem being a good boy in times past.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
We just turned 3 yrs this May. He was almost 46 yrs old when we got married and im 12 yrs younger. He always said his a loner and he shouldn't not have gotten married. He brought up divorce a year and half ago and moved to our extra bedroom. When he brought up the D, we had a problem sexually early in our marriage since his been diagnosed with ED. I dont know during the time when our marriage was still OK if he what he had been doing. I checked the incubation period of the virus it goes inside when the last time when were still active.
At this time, I always said to myself I need to move on. I said to him during our last conversation that I can live my life without him but having this virus is another story and I want him to be responsible for this. I dont care anymore what lifestyle he wants to have but all i want at this time is i want my health back.
I haven't communicated with his family since I felt his family contributed to our problem. Early on our problem his mom said there's no sacred in marriage anymore. I don't know why she send me card sending his empathy. Yet, my husband is aware that his family is also one of our issues.
I don't know he had a problem of being a good boy in the past but what I know he doesn't really have a long time relationship. The longest was 2 yrs but he was still on his 20s. The rest is just only months.
At this time, I pulled back and just want to take care of myself. I'm doing 180 tech and just be nice to him. But it still on my mind what he did to me. He said during our reconciliation meeting that hope we can do our divorce amicably. I didn't answer. In my mind i want peace of mind and be happy. I called my lawyer but he said to focus if there's any chance to reconcile since we are at the cooling off process. I'll wait till D court starts and say what my terms. At this time, if I'll talk to him it about settlement it will just lead to fight. Definitely, I want this cooling off to take time to take care of myself and find acceptance.
He didn't tell me he was dx. But I saw the testosterone result before it was <90. I thought about it because of his hypothyroidism. He has been going to an endocrinologist.
Actually, I was the one who brought up to have his testosterone check since I found out he was using enhancement drug. I confronted him about the drug but he said he used it because we just got married. I said we don't have to use it not knowing what was really the problem. He has an undergoing testosterone tx and early on the tx he said that it seems the ed becomes psychological. However, while he was undergoing with the treatment he said that he was just using his health problem as an excuse. He is actually not happy being married and he is a loner. He doesn't want responsibility.He wants divorce. He should have not gotten married since he doesn't have the personality of a husband.
I was fighting for my marriage after he mentioned the D and even after he filed. But the more he back-off. Plus knowing i'm infected i don't what else I'll get.
I don't want to carry this pain. I don't want to have an angry feeling as well. I think that that be easier for me to move on and be happy not having those 2 feelings.
Do you know why I asked you that question? You said "...He brought up divorce a year and half ago and moved to our extra bedroom. When he brought up the D, we had a problem sexually early in our marriage since his been diagnosed with ED. I dont know during the time when our marriage was still OK if he what he had been doing. I checked the incubation period of the virus it goes inside when the last time when were still active..."
I've been here before. Think about this and come up with the logical answer to why you concluded he has a medical condition that makes him not be able to perform with you.
