I was just wondering how the W who files for D feels ...this has been very difficult for me because I do not want a D. Is the spouse who files for D in just as much turmoil or do they feel happy, relieved, etc ...I'm just curious but would imagine it's different for everyone on a case by case basis.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
Because she shows no emotion and I find it weird ...that's why I asked. She detached and GAL and then gave me the news she was filing ...now I am GAL, doing 180 and just hoping she will warm up to me again and stop the D ...5 months from today the D will be final so I have time. I wonder if moving through the divorce process will make her rethink things or have her push to move things forward faster ...time will tell I guess
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
This^^^is normal behavior for the WAS. We need to learn to behave like them, if that makes sense. Act happy, look happy, be strong and confident. Have you read Sandi2 37 rules?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Thanks Rick. I have read Sandy ' s rules .. I guess I need to again to be sure to stay on track. Just hard ...i got tix to a basketball game for Saturday, college my W went to playing. I was going to extend an invitation to her to go and if she didn't want to tell her no problem and tgat I would take our son ...is that pursuing ...she can take it I r leave and that seems to be the attitude I need to have per Sandys rules....advice
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
Thanks Rick. I have read Sandy ' s rules .. I guess I need to again to be sure to stay on track. Just hard ...i got tix to a basketball game for Saturday, college my W went to playing. I was going to extend an invitation to her to go and if she didn't want to tell her no problem and tgat I would take our son ...is that pursuing ...she can take it I r leave and that seems to be the attitude I need to have per Sandys rules....advice
Would this come across as a date and go against Sandys rules?
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
You are very new on this journey so don't be too hard on yourself. DB is not a perfect science there are some dos and don'ts. But those can be tweaked at times to meet your needs. You try something and if it backfires you stop. You need to not put any pressure on her. Let go. Hard to do but necessary. Expectations will always affect you negatively so have none. People may have different opinions on what I'm about to tell you. But why would I invite someone to a game who wants nothing to do with me and wants to divorce me?. My exw cooked and served me dinner for almost a year while we lived together and during the D process. She even sat with me to eat and had conversations. This was affecting me a great deal so I asked for her to discontinue cooking and serving me. She did not like it but I needed to do it for my sanity.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
It's hard to understand W. Yesterday kids wanted to go out for dinner, W said "you take them". I said "you don't want to go? I thought you and I had a nice dinner and conversation last night. Join us" She then says "you said you'd give me my space". So I said ok and took the kids. I find it weird how we sit and have dinner together because if she is divorcing me that means she doesn't want me around so why does she sit and eat dinner with me?
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
